It's been a while now since,
Whatever we are whenever we are together,
Disappeared, again.
There are no side things this time.
No plan B.
My life is a lot more empty, yes,
indeed.

It's not that complicated,
though my cursed mind must make it so,
It's easy now, being numb, being blank,
Like exhaling after a long deep breath,
at some point it feels like you are drowning underneath
a dry vacuum and still you keep releasing,
'till you don't feel anything
at all.
Tabula Rasa,
baby boo dearest,
how slowly you made me fall.
To a blank slate,
Rising up upon my former fate,
like a black curtain call.
Blissful. No.
Comfortable like,
going back into the womb,
surrounded, worriless,
in a fetal state.
Thank you for everything,
I said.
Not replying,
Was simply your colored place.

The promise you made
to love me
means more than
the promise I made
to love myself

I always had a picture in my head of what I wanted
Who I'm going to fall in love with
How they act
How they think
How they look
What I had in my head is not like you
Not like you at all
I still liked you though
I actually liked you a lot
Now that I think about it, I liked you more than I planned to
More than I wanted to
You were not what I was looking for
But you hit me like a tidal wave
I don't love you but still
You fill the empty gap in my heart
That you created
And then you leave again
You seemed like you weren't interested in me
It seemed like someone was occupying that space
So I left
And I don't regret it
But I miss your touch

If I had a choice
I'd still pick you
And I'd pick you again
And again
But you're no good for me
And I can't do that to myself anymore