i want to speak so many things,
but i feel like people will judge.
judge my mind, my whole being.
i'm human too, aren't i? it's just
difficult for me to express,
what i want to say.
that's all.

I was sure that she'd reject me
And that gave rise to fear
But anything that's worth a fight
Will make those nerves appear

A week passed by and day by day
My courage slowly grew
And this is where I messaged her
With a link for her to view

A sonnet, cheesy, but well planned
With a message to supply
That I believed something could work
And I thought it worth a try

An hour passed, and then a night
And then, so flew the day
I guess there's comfort knowing that
I was sure it'd go this way

I got my first tattoo
It's small and on my foot
It's sloppy like my life
And doesn't look that good

But it's not actually my first tattoo
That in fact was you
Not something anyone could see
Painted in me when you knew me

my hands are
red
my lips are blue
yet i'm still
longing for you
cause you made my
heartbeat
more than it used to
now it slowly
s l o w l y . . .
going
away

flat line
i think she's gone by now
i don't know why
we tried

there won't be miracle
to save me now
im gone
g o n e . . .

you
look
  like
   you
    saw
     a
      ghost

blonde hair, blue eyes,
flat tummy, thigh gap.
redder lips, long lashes.

vogue likes us skinny.
when we're bulimic you say "be yourself."

you say makeup makes you pretty.
but you tell us "don't mask your complexion!"

what
do
we
have
to
do
to
be
accepted?

Dear God, I need a moment
I know it's been a while
You know I do not go to church
That just is not my style

I do not pray like others do
I believe in what is right
So, God I ask you hear me
On this dark and lonely night

I do not ask redemption
I'm too far gone you know
I'm not one who is worth saving
Deep down you know it's so

The people who are righteous
Who are here to spread your word
Are wolves wrapped in sheep's clothing
Working hard to fleece the herd

I'm not one who will follow
I don't buy the tales they sell
When I am dead and buried
I'm not in heaven but in hell

I'm cutting out the middle man
For they don't own my trust
They're ******* their believers
They use your name with every ******

I hope that you can hear me
Though I've used your name in vain
They confess and pay their penance
Then they do it all again

If the only way to heaven
Is to buy a ticket in
Then I guess I'm well committed
So, I'll live my life in sin

The sinners should be punished
I know you and I agree
But, who made them judge and jury
Who chooses what they see?

Dear God when all is finished
My soul is mine alone to lose
But, where I spend my future
Is up to you to choose

So, God, I'm here just talking
Not confessing to my sin
I'm not here to say I'm leaving
I guess, I'm only checking in.