You told me you
              Couldn't find your way
                                     In your darkest nights
So I left you a star
               A star in every poem
                               To find your way home

ALL THOSE THOUGHTS

that vacant stare

the here-not-here

thought gathering
these few seconds

of a world
of little or no

significance
consequence

a glance capturing
a bird in mid-flight

the dance of sunlight
through lime green leaves

a memory of her self
being all of four

the yellow pencil sharpener
held steadily in her hand

paring all the  coloured pencils
down to the last shavings

a swirl of frocks
dancing with each other

all these thoughts
scattered upon the air

all these thoughts lost
as

the bomb goes off.

I open up and show emotion.
Measuring levels of friendly devotion.
Self-analysis, mindful and all.
Driving change through the thickest wall.

Listeners smile that indifferent smile,
Awaiting the end, expression banal.
Change the subject, cheer up, be thankful,
Would be easier if I had a broken ankle.

A broken mind is harder to mend,
Hopefully before I go round the bend.
Where there’s life, there’s hope?
Or another cliché to avoid talk of rope.

The sun is out, the days are brighter.
Muscles in atrophy, smile no whiter.
Separating dark thought from obvious fact,
Or maybe I should improve the act?

Smiles that do not touch my eyes,
Surrounded by my paranoid spies.
Time to lift it, time to change,
Seems normality is out of range.

Now at days end, the cold sets in,
Still battling and thrashing the demon within.
My head’s still full of fear and doubt,
But everything’s fine when they’re without.

They don’t have to listen, nor even care.
Just be gracious,
And
be
there.

Words, words, too many words.
Smashing inside, trapped and bound,
Screaming at me to let them out.
Picking the wrong target,
Releasing the wrong ones.
Creating a mess of pain and hurt.
So I shut them in again,
Suffer them myself again.
Talk less, think more.
Love less, lose more.

I used to feel so alive;
when I was in your warmth
But now all we have is dead
And I've been sleeping in the cold.