Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
381 · Apr 2018
Progress
Samm Marie Apr 2018
I set a timer for five minutes
Five times
And finally cleaned my room
Seeing the floor for the first time
Since December.
I woke up on time this morning
And I made my bed
For the first time in years.
I ate breakfast
I looked nice
I respected myself.
It isn't much,
But it's a start
And I'm actually getting better
381 · Jul 2016
Once Upon No Existing Time
Samm Marie Jul 2016
Would I have thought
I'd be strong enough
To feel confident and comfortable
In my own skin
I had that for a short period of time
I put myself out there
And I tried so hard
Yet so carefree
I know this is when I was most beautiful
You took that from me
Now I'm back to claim
What is rightfully
Mine
Samm Marie Mar 2017
Because I don't want to accept that life is short
375 · Jul 2016
Smile For the Camera, Bitch
Samm Marie Jul 2016
Hahahahaha
"Why so serious" darling
You look a little scared
Caught in the midst of this
Web of lies you've spun
You don't weave tight enough
Because I found a hole
Yeah hunny, you're crazy
But I'm far crazier
You look ready to **** yourself
Did you not want her to know?
Well darling
I've got friends in dark places
And I'm the ringmaster of that ******* circus
You've got ***** I must admit
But perhaps it's time for an
Unscheduled castration
That ***** beer in your hand
Couldn't have done anything to lead to this
Unless since we met
Your tolerance has drastically dropped
I see your white flag waving
You ****** with the wrong pair
I see that fear in your eyes and I couldn't
Care less than I do right now
So darling
My old friend
Gone rogue
Smile for the camera, *****
373 · Aug 2016
Dethroned
Samm Marie Aug 2016
In.                                                   A
Land.                                              Of
Peculiarities.                       Perhaps
I might be able to usurp the king of
All negativity and wear his poison
Crown upon my head of sadness
Which conjures up scenarios no one
Should face alone but I allow myself
To do so anyway, but can you truly
Ever usurp yourself, ruler of the throne?
373 · Sep 2016
secondhand smoke
Samm Marie Sep 2016
i'm so accustomed
to inhaling everyone's smoke rings
i allow their own stresses
to course throughout my veins
i'm broken because my decisions are poor
much like my family
too far below the poverty line
facing eviction
something no
16
13
11
or
8
year old child should have to be afraid of
i let the relationships around me
serve as platform to my self pity
for relationships i could not make work
i sit here
all too aware
of the noxious poisons i inhale
i am forced to fear for my life
and those of my siblings
those of my friends
that of my father
of my mother
simply because
i am the lowercase girl
quietly breathing in everyone's
choke worthy secondhand smoke
373 · Jul 2016
Finding a Home
Samm Marie Jul 2016
I've already found my home
I'm looking for our house
371 · Mar 2016
Believe Me?
Samm Marie Mar 2016
Would you believe me
If I lied to protect you?
Could you trust me
If I hurt you to save you?
Would you believe me
If my words sounded
More acceptable than my actions?
Could you trust me
If I broke my promise to better myself?

Do you love me
Despite my fragmented soul?
Do you want me
In spite of my past?
Do you love me
Through all of my obsessions?
Do you want me
Even with my trepidation?

I would believe you
If you lied and said you love me
I could trust you
Even if you hurt me
I love you
Flaws included
I want you
In your beautiful brokenness
Samm Marie Jul 2016
Pain is a temporary way
Your heart lets you know
You are slowly, surely healing
368 · Aug 2016
Teaching Little Man Four
Samm Marie Aug 2016
Bee
Bounce
House
Fun
Run
Sun
Tree
Look
Boy-- just like you--
Book
***
Play--you love to play don't you--
Ball
Garden
Sit
Kite
Friend
Now listen Little Man Four,
Friend is one of the most important words
You will ever know
You have friends at preschool right?
Well, you see, when you go to kindergarten
You're going to make even more
And eventually all these friends
Will carry you through the rest of life
Remember the words "play" and "fun"
Because along the road of life
You'll need to enjoy yourself plenty
"Bounce"around with your friends
Even if they are imaginary
Throw a "ball" in the "garden"
Watch out for the flowers and the "bees"
"Run" in the "sun" every chance you get
Because I hate to say it but
Little Man Four, you won't always be able to
"Sit" by a "tree" and fly your "kite"
Or "look" at a "book"
And when you're tired
You can go to sleep in the "house"
Right now the world is at your fingertips
You're learning to read
And count
And write
Little Man Four,
Always remember, it is you
Who is in charge of your life
I'm currently teaching a four-year-old boy to read and he's so excited to start learning, I thought I'd write one for him
368 · Mar 2016
Stop
Samm Marie Mar 2016
Stop giving a **** about those who want you gone
It is beyond obvious that they are poison
Trying to dance upon your scarred tongue
Stop crying over spilled milk and **** you could not control
Why the hell are you regretting
Those unhealthy memories that don't make up your soul
Stop thinking about that scared little *****
The once small frightened child you once were
Because that is no longer you, not one bit
368 · Feb 2017
So Many Thoughts
Samm Marie Feb 2017
But darling, you are hardly one of them these days
367 · Jul 2016
Dirty Laundry
Samm Marie Jul 2016
Sometimes you can't get rid
Of that lingering stench
***** laundry leaves behind
You scrub everything religiously
And Fabreeze every nook and cranny
You rewash the clothes a few times
Just to be sure
But sometimes what it takes to rid yourself
Of ***** laundry
Is throwing it away
And splurging on something new
365 · Jul 2016
I Threw The Match
Samm Marie Jul 2016
I was so ******* done
So **** exhausted
So I locked up my memories
In the sweet little chest
With golden filigree
And a burgundy base
A bit of raised embossing
And an engraving that read,
"Do not open,
For these are incapable of cherishment"
I set  it on the highest shelf
Of the unused linen closet
And I lit a candle
Placed it on the shelf beneath
And locked the door
I walked away for an hour or so
But the candle had died
So in my fit of anger
I ran to the furnace
I opened the door
And turned
Every thermostat in the house
Up to the highest point
And just for good measure
I lit a match
And placed it under the door
I went to sleep surrounded by flames
To my demise the firemen came
And when all that remained
Was that **** laughing box
They thought I might want to see
Because they opened the box
Unknowing of the horrors inside
And once again
Like an LSD addict
Knowing the trip might be bad
I threw another ******* match
Samm Marie Aug 2016
Recently I've been told
How great I look
How I've put on a bit of weight
How my eyes don't sag
With rings of sleepless nights
How I look brighter
Happier
"Wow you look great"
That's because I'm fueled by emotion
Driven by heart
I'm learning that I can't
Fixate on the crippling past
And hunny I'm back in action
I'm ready to take life in my hands
And build
Not destroy
So thanks for noticing that
Wow
I do look great
As narcissistic as it sounds this a confidence poem not a conceit poem
362 · Sep 2016
High School Bathroom Stalls
Samm Marie Sep 2016
I have heard and seen it all
In the high school girls' bathroom stalls
Somebody's boyfriend loves them
But only if they "take it in the ****"
Somebody believes herself to be
Strong like the ocean
Another wishes someone would just **** her already
Someone has just given up
Their "vandalism virginity"
Someone really enjoys spurting male anatomy
Some girl cuts herself just to feel something
Another one forces the food up her throat
Every time she eats
I, too, am guilty of writing in ink
"I am broken, but don't want to be fixed"
"All you need is faith, trust, and a little gay lust"
"I'm ready to shoot myself"
I've added to that petty hottie list
And I've dented the wall with a fist
A time or two before
But this isn't about me
It's about the honesty
The opening up
That only comes with anonymity
In the high school girls' bathroom stalls
362 · Mar 2016
The Night Guard
Samm Marie Mar 2016
A garden full of sweat and tears
The weeds have choked what once was mine
  Each blossom that manages to escape the dark
   Have learned to make a difference

A graveyard filled with rotten years
Enveloped by forgotten memories
  The night guard keeps watch on the nothingness
   On the heavy and solemn eternal embraces

An abandoned swing hangs from the oak
That sits in the backyard filled with heartbreak
  Everyone as left and the windows are lacking light
   Even the moon cannot break the shield of ivy vines

Through that small window in the top left hand corner
A shard of hope still lingers with the perfume of life empty
  One eye is all it takes to glance out and see the landscape
   Not a single soul remembers the occurrences in that house

The night guard makes his way as dawn breaks
He's weary from watching over those awful tombs
  Up the paths, through the garden, to the front door
   A stench floods his nose, but that stench is long gone

It is only a memory of a promise he could not keep
Up to the top left hand corner window
  Well, Mr. Gravedigger, bury me soon,
    He smiled at the bottle he should have put down

But that was why his beloved family
Rest in the ground behind his house and his garden
  The teddy bear in his dead daughter's crib
   Reminds him of all the **** that he once did

He screams at the bottle as if it's somehow its fault
That the night guard could not watch over his life
  He opens a cabinet and places the barrel
   Pressed to his head, then pulls the trigger, but he isn't dead

What cruelty is this? I want my wife back!
The night guard lay bleeding on his sweet daughter's carpet
  The sirens started wailing as the sun peeked through
   And poor Mr. Night Guard descended to Hell
Well this is decidedly ******...
Samm Marie Feb 2017
He doesn't truly love anyone
He is hurting and he is broken
But you cannot fix him
He is the only one who can save
The life he has destroyed
We cannot give him what he needs
He won't ever love us like we love him
So darling, please don't lose heart
Don't lose your mind
Keep yourself safe while you can
Because he collects girls like us
By the dozen
And he isn't worth the waste of our
Thoughts
But you've already swung your legs
'Round his waist
So it's far too late
I just hope you don't lose you
358 · Jan 2018
Beautiful
Samm Marie Jan 2018
I had never been called beautiful
By a boy before
And yet he made my heart stop
Completely when he said it
He seemed so sure
As though it were fact
Not opinion

In stopping my heart he made
It start with a slightly different beat
I'm not saying he made realize
That I am far more than I credit myself
I've realized it before
But he made me believe in the word
I've worn it upon my throat for nearly seven
Months now, remembering that life is beautiful

I constantly remind him I'm broken and messy
Not the kind of girl you would
Take home to mama and put a ring on
Her left hand
I'm an *******
But then he called me beautiful and I
Realized that I am
Because life is beautiful
And I am life
356 · Apr 2022
A Careful Little Dance
Samm Marie Apr 2022
Flirt
But not too much
Laugh
But not too loud
Tease
But not too mean
Touch
But not too long
Smile
But not too hard
Samm Marie Sep 2016
Hatred, it seems, is plaguing my lungs
And dramatically piercing my tongue
I am hopelessly confused:
Where do these bullet shaped words come from?
What is the purpose of this deadly
Thought constructed weaponry that spills
So effortlessly from my oral cavity?
Why is it that I allow the calvary to permeate
My filter solely designed to avoid anguish?
Am I compensating for the damage inflicted upon me?
Compensating for the time I so willingly gave
To fuel my addiction to consistency?

Can I say, "******, this suffering is enough!"?

Hope, it seems, ****** my mind
With its irritating relentless plea for attention
Attention I must provide
If only because I the cry for notice
All too well; like the back of my hand
Because in a world so fueled by hate,
So fueled by the concept of good always ending
We all need to be seen
A pain of the past causes too many pains
For the future, but
Even when it seems impossible
A chin will be lifted by a hand that whispers,
"I see you
And I hear"
355 · Feb 2019
Clinic
Samm Marie Feb 2019
So many cold eyes stare into empty spaces
The waiting room feels crowded with the five of us in this too big space
I hear my name called and am handed a jar
Off to the bathroom I am escorted
The nerves are escalating as I urinate
Into the cold metal door goes my name among others
I can't breathe
He holds my hand and gets me water, saying everything will be fine
But I was turned away last week
They had told me my appointment never finalized in scheduling
I know with certainty this is really happening though
The receptionist with the sad mouth calls me to her window
Is there a different insurance I can try? Do I have the money?
At least the insurance that was supposed to be cancelled is still active
I don't want this money burning my wallet and freezing my heart
He isn't allowed to come back with me
Are you sure, they ask me far too many times
I just want this to be over with
I want to cry
Are you being forced by anyone
Only myself and my promises
I'm scared
I'm sad
They finally let him come back to me
And lay me upon the cold papered examination bed
They force my legs apart and insert their probe
Do you want to see?
Of course I don't but how can I not
In black and white before me is my last eight weeks
Sweaty apple juice is placed in my weak hands
I look so brave in this sterile place
Am I being judged by these people
I'm just too young right now
We have no money
Take these twenty-four hours apart
More prescriptions and pills are passed along to me
I'm barely eighteen and graduated

Days later it feels like there is cotton in my mouth
The medication expands like gauze
I can't feel my tongue or the air around me
It's not too bad after it's dissolved though
Then an hour passes and I can feel the life being taken from me
My whole body convulses
I can't stop the tears
He can't stop the pain
Especially not the emotional kind
He couldn't possibly understand
I've known longer than him
Built a bond that is only meant to be broken
He kisses my stomach like I can't
There's so much blood
I suppose it's time to take all the pain and nausea medications
What makes it worse is that I know I'll be sad for some time
But we agreed to never tell anyone about this happening
We're ashamed we chose this route
But there would have been no chance at survival regardless

Months later I'm still crying
I mourn the intentional loss of my would-have-been love
Though the decision was necessary I can't help but wonder
And I see all these announcements on media
I put on my happy face for them
But I feel robbed
Embarrassed
Sad
The painkiller bottles still aren't empty and serve only as a reminder
Of the two lines we threw away
So that the soul could have a better chance
Inspired by a friend's experience with permission
354 · Apr 2017
Yicky Yucky Ucky
Samm Marie Apr 2017
When diseased with painful coughs
Or any sort of ailment
I become a small child again
Claiming the world is acting
Yicky
It feels yucky in my throat and I want to cry
The uckiness is too overwhelming
And I think my childish nature
That reappears in the midst of
Germs and ickiness
Is trying to tell me that
Some people are just giant germs
Trying to get me sick
354 · Jun 2017
Oh My Damn
Samm Marie Jun 2017
Baby you are such a light in my world
Even when you make me cry
Last night you told me you love me
And oh my **** if I didn't cry
Forty minutes after we said goodnight
I was still crying
Tears of happiness
Because baby you are a kick drum in my heart
And I will always love you, too
Samm Marie Jul 2016
There is a fine line
You lean toward the latter
353 · Sep 2016
Pianissimo
Samm Marie Sep 2016
I sat upon my bench so black
So battered
So lonely
My brother sat in the chair to my right
To my consciousness
To my awareness
On his way out I asked him to **** the lights
**** the distractions
**** the white noise
And I sat in the dark after opening that dusty lid
Sleek lid
Smooth lid
And there were my emotions
Poured out into my foot and flighty fingers
I closed my eyes to deepen my thoughts
To clear my mind
And for the first time in a long time
I felt my soul being touched
Being warmed
Being remembered
I prayed outloud as the strings of the piano
Reflected the strings of my heart
I allowed the tears and mascara to freely run
And the anger to burn fiery red
Fading into an abusive purple
Melting into a blue depression
And finally waltzing into yellow hope
Splattered with a foxtrot of grey forgiveness
In the dark basement
All alone tonight
I found myself again
"I thought you were lost"
"I wasn't lost, you just needed to search"
Fortisitisimo might have sounded like truth
But the most sacred things I've ever learnt
Have been in life's rare
Pianissimo moments
353 · Feb 2017
And A Stripper
Samm Marie Feb 2017
There's a darker side to town
When the lights come up
When the sun rises
That is when the sin is most obvious
All the gamblers
With whiskey on their breath
Come stumbling out around nine in the morning
And wander into their homes
Sleeping the day away
Kissing their wives goodbye
For another go round of chasing the devil
Their wives dance about
In their sluttish suburban ways
Knowing **** well where their men are
And taking advantage
Every second
Of the loneliness they feel
Dragging in any man who walks their way
They don't mind the age
Especially when drunk and *****
And those girls who hate *** now
The *****
And the ***
And the money
The drugs
The temptation
Everything about the night life
Is appealing
Except when shown in daylight
No person is immune to the consequences
When the addiction calls
And a stripper,
So in pain,
Cries out to the sky
Pleading to be forgiven
Samm Marie Dec 2017
I've been keeping
A list of things about him
Anything I feel important
Gets noted
His favorite color is green
He has a golden doodle
her name is Sadie
He has auto-immune encephalitis
He swears like it's going out of style
But makes it so suave
Etc. Etc. Etc.

He was feeling sad
Broken
Unappreciated
So I told him to hang on a minute
I needed to get my bag from the car
I threw in my shoes, forgetting socks,
I didn't even grab my jacket
The rain tried to drown me
As I accomplished my mission
I took a few pictures of this list
And hit send

I thought I ****** up
45 minutes went by and
He hadn't said anything
My anxiety was kicking in so
I played first person shooters
With my baby brother
I love that kid
My phone vibrated
Sending pulses of panic
Throughout my existence
"Wow"
One word, no explanation

"Truly amazing"
"No one knows me that well"
The short texts of amazement kept streaming in
Vibration after vibration
He was so happy
That didn't stop him from
Mentioning that he hates
This whole being single thing
But it's for the best when
You've been cheated on by five girls
Again I helped

"Sorry for being clingy the past few days"
I shot an hour or so later
He always tells me it's okay
But I don't think it is
Without missing a beat
He replied
"I love it"
I cried

I cried because
like I told him
He "just made my heart smile
So much that tears fell
No one's ever said anything
Like that me and it washed some
Of my anxieties away"
I proceeded to thank him
He's my best friend so
There's always that love
That exists between friends
So I thanked him for it

He was confused
"Thank you for loving me Evan"
"Samm, I don't have to try to
I love you so much it comes naturally"
This man
So wonderful and imperfect
Yet so flawless
Made me cry again

My heart hasn't ever smiled before
I thought in the past that it has
But that was just butterflies
My heart smiled tonight
**And I've never been so
Sure
352 · Jun 2017
Loose Ends VIII
Samm Marie Jun 2017
I have come to learn
That I have been hiding
Behind what I believe
Everyone wishes to see

I have decided
That I am no longer
Taking orders
From that lying little *****
In my head

I am me
And that is far
More than enough
Samm Marie Jul 2016
This is western Washington
Not eastern Washington
Or California
Where the hell is the rain?
I feel it's been days
Weeks
Months
Years
I need some hurricane-esque rain
Right now
Because that is the most comforting for me
It's like a blanket
Of security and hope
That doesn't demand I hide my tears
I just want the ****** rain to fall
Because I am in a ******* drought of happy
When it comes to him
So explain to me why it seems
Western Washington
Home of Seattle and rain
Is in some weird ******* drought
348 · Jul 2016
It's About Damn Time
Samm Marie Jul 2016
That I've paid some much necessary respect
To amazing poets
That have inspired, encouraged, and progressed me
Be it as a poet
A thinker
A person
Your words,
Whether directed at me through message
Or unintentionally meant for me in
Your poetry

My heart goes out to
SydRivers
For considering my works exceptional enough
To be a part of your group
Which boosted my confidence

Rare But Relevant
For giving me slight insight to you
And your friend's hearts
Providing even more encouragement
And purpose to my words

Katjie
For knowing everything will be okay
In the end
No matter how hard it seems now

Jennifer R. Fay
For recently admiring my works
And for slightly less recently for
Touching my heart

Kaycog
For beautiful short breaths of life
That include so many juxtaposing
Emotions that can cause a heart
To learn

And finally
To Jack Michael Westland
For beautiful poetry
Help for stories to come
And for beautiful friendship

I realize this is a somewhat
******* poem but I felt
A need to openly thank you all
For the help you've given me
From the sincerity of my heart
So from the honesty of mine
I love you all
343 · Jun 2017
Loose Ends V
Samm Marie Jun 2017
My worth is undefinable
So is yours

Remember that
342 · Jul 2016
Home
Samm Marie Jul 2016
As soon as we met
I finally knew what home
Was meant to feel like
342 · Apr 2016
Heartbeats
Samm Marie Apr 2016
thump
thump
thump
My head on your chest
Your hand on my breast
A soft hum and stir
Vibrating in my ears
Rising from an internal cavity
A gentle up and down
Motion of your stomach
Reminds me you're asleep
Which reminds me,
I wanted to tell you something:
I love the way you can always
ALWAYS
Find something worth laughing about
I love the way your voice itself
Is poetry
I love the way you get stressed out
But still make time to
Listen to my woes
I love the way you tell me
Everything will be okay
Everything will be right
I love the way you remind me
We'll see each other soon
I love the way you refuse to see
Any of my negative qualities
And even if you do you see the
Silver lining
I love the way you swing your racket
And how your cheeks puff up
When concentrated
I love the way your blue eyes
Are so full of hope
And wonder
I love the way you say my name
When you tell me goodnight
Goodmorning
And that you love me
I love the little spirals you
Get yourself into
Because I know you trust me
Speaking of which
I love the way you trust me
Like a child trusts their parents
I love the way you talk about getting married
I even love the way your pants
Get just a *little
too tight sometimes
But to sum up everything
Into one small, impactful sentence:
I love you
That's what I think
As I hear your heartbeat
Can I know how you feel, too?
342 · Feb 2017
Just This Side of Sane
Samm Marie Feb 2017
You break hearts left and right
And you don't care too terribly much
Yet I come back and smile at you
And hope that maybe you'll break mine
Years of scars stain my heart vividly
And I still want to be noticed by you hopelessly
You break hearts left and right
And I just want to heal yours
Samm Marie Aug 2016
Bailey and Mathew
And Stephanie then Jack
Melissa
Aerrow and Anna
Olivia and Stasi
Isabel and Evan
You all care
You all ask
You all check
I'm sorry I scare you
I'm having a bad down
I mean it
A major downer
Worse than any acid trip could provide
I'm not slitting
And I don't intend to
I think I'm done with that
I think I'm clean
I'm sorry I cause you to worry
I'm sorry I'm that friend
But thats how it is
I'm in the midst of a relapse
But I'll find my footing
Once September ends
Hopefully before
But we never know
I'm sorry to make
All y'all's concerned
Samm Marie Feb 2018
"Life is like a brick wall.
Whenever something good happens
You add a brick.
But when something bad happens,
The wall breaks apart.
The point of life is that we keep
Building and repairing that wall.
Once we reach the end of our life,
The wall will be be so strong that
We can rest in peace for
Eternity"

-*Evan Kruck
341 · Jul 2016
For Erica
Samm Marie Jul 2016
Your brave yet broken soul
Your loud but open heart
Inspires me
You speak a great game
And you even walk the walk
Your metaphorical outlook shines
You're so strong
As you hold your head up
Admitting your faults
Scared to death
Such courage courses through your veins
After such a clouded past
With family and life
But those choices led you to today
And I love every bit of you
Flaws and all
You're a beautiful mother
A fantastic person
And an even better cousin
340 · Aug 2016
Piece Me Together
Samm Marie Aug 2016
I'm a broken mess
Piece me together
I'm taken out of context
Piece me together
I need compassion to breathe
Piece me together
I need a hand to see
Piece me together
I'm sloppy and I'm unwhole
Piece me together
I'm jaded and I am unsold
Piece me together
I can't comprehend half the **** people do
Piece me together
I can't understand the thought of living without you
Piece me together
I'm begging for you to
Piece me together
But you're the one who
Broke me
Piece me together
340 · Jul 2016
I'm Not Very Religious
Samm Marie Jul 2016
I'm not very religious
But if learned anything from
The youth group I attend
It is to speak life over death
And I think we could all
Always use a dose of encouragement
So I only have a few words
To share with all who
Are willing to listen or willing to change:
No amount of hatred
Is the only acceptable amount of hatred
The only amount of love
Acceptable in this world is infinite
When you witness a soul struggling
Help
You can't just pass them by
And expect positive results
When you see an easygoing person
Ask them if there is anything
You can do to help keep spirits high
When you are at your lowest low
Ask for help
Because we are just human
We can't carry the weight of the world
On our own
Otherwise there'd be no such thing as friends
Step out of your comfort zone
You just might be surprised
The things about yourself
You could find
Just by overlooking death and instead
Speaking life
Samm Marie Jul 2016
I simply couldn't be
Even if I wanted to
You don't understand
How it hurts to be near you

Do you even know
Who I want to be
I can't understand
How it is you're so naïve

Your touch
Doesn't create a spark
Your words
Thrown haphazardly
In the dark
I simply couldn't be yours
Even if I wanted to
Because this should hurt to say
And I feel no pain
I don't love you anymore

I simply couldn't be
Even if you begged me
I wish I could explain
Why I no longer feel the same

I simply couldn't be
Despite how much I should
Want to be with you
Every step for good

Your touch
Doesn't create a spark
Your words
Thrown haphazardly
In the dark
I simply couldn't be yours
Even if I wanted to
Because this should hurt to say
And I feel no pain
I don't love you anymore

I simply couldn't be
Even if I wanted to
Even if you begged me
I can hardly say sorry

Because

Your touch
Doesn't create a spark
Your words
Thrown haphazardly
In the dark
I simply couldn't be yours
Even if I wanted to
Because this should hurt to say
And I feel no pain
I don't love you anymore

I hope you can forgive me
But I don't love you anymore
https://soundcloud.com/user-314614224/i-simply-couldnt-be
338 · Jul 2016
Tonka
Samm Marie Jul 2016
Yellow and boyish
From my construction phase as
A child with big dreams
Dump trucks and cement pourers
With cranes assassinating
Samm Marie Aug 2016
I'm bubbly and elated
Filled to the brim with
Oogaboogalia
And frothing over with
Eeeeeek
I'm practically five
Bing **** Bing ****
I'm in a rocket ship shaped
Roller coaster that only goes up
This time I am genuinely
Happy
Believe me
335 · Jul 2016
Turning Away
Samm Marie Jul 2016
Why make my bed
If I don't plan on returning?
Why leave outrageously
When I can exit quietly?
I don't fancy myself
To be the dramatic type
I can hyperbolize anything
And sometimes I do
But I try to mind myself
Stay in my corner
I'm done hiding
Where do you want me
Leave the keys when I'm gone?
How are you
Going to handle this?
It's something that kills me
But eventually an uncivil war
Must end
And the first step
Is becoming a healthier person
Even if it means
Leaving what I love behind
335 · Jul 2016
Un-Event
Samm Marie Jul 2016
It's the un-events that
Mean the most in this world
That become the biggest moments
With the largest meaning
With the heaviest emotions
And the longest hours of revisiting
It's the things you think that don't matter
That add up like the loose change
In the washer or dryer
That add up and create your legacy
And start as un-events
It's the un-events that mean the most
To the most eventful hearts
332 · Jul 2016
Personal Journey
Samm Marie Jul 2016
I am looking for the hay
In my stack of needles

I can assure that this
Has been said before me

But it rings true still
And lives as my axiom

I am searching for my
Individuality in a conformity sea

Perhaps I am meant to
Live in many muddied waters

Yet here I am refusing
A fate I cannot seal

Surrender is only an option
For negativity holding me back

I cannot lose everything again
I won't hear my heartbreak

Openly I defy the standards
Laid before my deaf ears

I refuse to stand mute
When I witness any injustice

Now I have decided after
Sixteen years of caving in

I am no one's marionette
Because I pull the strings
A collection of 10w poems
Samm Marie Jan 2018
I am beginning to realize that
There are things in life
That will not matter in the end
For example my high school GPA
There are things so much more beautiful
And important
Like being a mother
A lover
A sister
A daughter
A friend
A human
And I am striving to be all those at once
Rather than stressing over how
I will finish my senior year
As I transition into the real world
Where I'll attend college with my best friend
Who unknowingly has made me see all this
330 · Sep 2016
Grandmother Bovine Says #1
Samm Marie Sep 2016
Don't play Russian roulette with a full chamber
330 · Jun 2017
Loose Ends II
Samm Marie Jun 2017
I believe that there is much
To be said for
Those who have tied
All the ends neatly
330 · Jun 2017
Loose Ends IV
Samm Marie Jun 2017
The road is long
But beautiful
Just like the journey
Next page