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Quit depicting yourself as the artist when you should be the one on the canvas.
When I was born
I was dropped on hell's porch
Though no one quite new it yet
I was Satan's new pet
Even though I was doomed from the start
I acted as though I still contained a heart
My soul has been gone from the beginning it's true
My being born should only be booed
No one can love me for I am nothing
Nothing but a shell that has long been rotting
 Jan 2015 Heliza Rose
WickedHope
"What's it like to always love,
And never be loved in return?
"
She asked me.

I told her,
"You feel like the sun, a star,
Warm in cold space,
And you can see the other stars all about you,
But you can't reach any of them.

It's like being the last kid picked for the team,
Except you're never picked;
You're a spectator, but not by choice.

You're a kitten in the 'FREE' box,
Abandoned on the side of the road.
A great idea, but not many seem
To actually want you,
Everything you get is pity.
"
Oh, hi. And stuff.
 Jan 2015 Heliza Rose
authentic
Recently I have been reading a book
It is about two people falling in love
In the worst way
They are playful and beautiful
They are simple and extravangtly in love
Although, neither say it until they break up
This book reminded me a lot of us
We were playful
We were so beautiful
We both tried so hard to impress each other
But there is something different about us
When she leaves, he tries everything he can
To get her back to him
Building bridges, sending flowers, showing compassion
Endeavoring with everything in him to show
There was a love there, if you looked close enough
When I left
You drew yourself away from me
And as much as I hated it
I tried to get you back
But you said no
And I sit in this imaginary story
about two people who couldn't make it work
Reading about how he tried
But thinking only about how you didn't
 Jan 2015 Heliza Rose
authentic
After it all
I can really only think of one thing
You didn't fight for me
You said that there was nothing left for you to say to me
You didn't fight
You laid down your weapon
And watching me walk away
I would have preferred a bullet in my back
Than something as tragic as pain
With no wound to show for it
And when the bell tolls, as expected, I imagine
an unconvincing ending and quick new beginning
fighting my instinct that tells again and again
it's just a nonsense we force ourselves to embrace
obeying an illogical prompt never once questioned
There is no full stop in time; even if you are being playful.
It's cold in here
beneath flesh and bone
otherwise ignored.
Wake me when it's warmer.
When the songs are lifted through branches filled with heat.
For now I'll survive.
It's going to be a long winter.
Everything will be alright.
My shadow told me so.
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