a place to hide,
a palace of mistakes
all mirrors are broken,
just reflections,
fractured pieces of glass,
not bone,
lying scattered upon the breaks
of waves that lap at scattered artists
thrown, broken upon the shore,
bleached bones of arctic winters
seep coldly into open pores

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

a litany of shattered verse lines a beach
littered with bones of the walking dead
several heads,
bobbing upon the waves
weave casually at the words that are fed
to starving children that lay with their
head on laps of empty maws,
gaping,

instead....

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

all the words uttered in prose,
are fed to starving addicts that consecrate
the earth, fallen from their heavens,
wings severed from bone,
several uttered irreverence, only to be cast
in stone,
only to be remembered by
just a handful
who wished to just walk alone

but...

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

to read,
to devour,
to sup from the chalice
of Life,
to drink in the purity of another
that is casting about in the night,
trying to make a difference,
trying to make a statement
trying to ask for Forgiveness,
trying to make
it right...

Thine eyes captured all that you saw

Here,
where I am nobody
I see what you see,
I saw what you saw,
I try to say the same,
I'm muted by awe

but

*Thine eyes captured all that you saw

Where I sit is an empty place
a space full of no meaning
a seat that is reserved for one
devoid of any feeling
Where I sit is a lofty stoop
characterized in concrete
just a single placed chair
a place to put two feet
Planted upon unforgiving ground
and rumored to be true
where I sit is a lonely place
but could be shared, by two

No one wants a a piece of this heart

this heart is not one to be spared

to be spared is to be only one half

one half just can't compare

Compare two pieces left broken

left broken two pieces of heart

pieces of heart are just tokens

just tokens if worn apart

Worn apart like an infection

an infection that sits upon skin

skin left cold by rejection

rejection is just another sin

Another sin that wants no part

no part of being insane

insane is where lies this heart

this heart that won't play the game

Tasting like a new spring day
So soft and moist with dew
A small lift, a tilting smile
Promises all dreams do come true
One small sip is never enough
One soft word demands one more
One light kiss from your whispering lips
Is to drift away from shore
Sometimes the mask will crack
I see what there is to hide
Your whispering lips are still so soft
Gentle words still lilt on the tide
But there is now a bitter after taste
From your softly whispering lips
Demanding words are spoken
Poison glinting on their tips
I willingly kept drinking your words
Poison flowing through my veins
Such ghastly death I might of deserved
Where your words are all that remain
The ultimate shocking betrayal
That also became my demise
Did not spill for your whispering lips
But bled from your lying eyes.

I often tell you things
like no one is listenining
as the television casts a glow
on your sleeping face
I'll keep on whispering

I love you

Over and over
as I stroke your hair
as you dream
the ghosts of your past
*like I'm not even there

Who cares
What path was taken?
What words were spoken?
What hearts were broken?
Who cares
What lies were told?
What truths were bold?
What beliefs were shaken?
Who cares
What road was chosen?
What mode of transport?
Or even what prize was sort?
We all end up in the same place
with the same certainty
and even the same face.
We all arrive at different times,
we go down with no sound,
into a ground,
so recently
*broken

I wish I could touch you
not in a way that would be
awkward
just in a way that would
say in no words
I Love You
because the few characters
on a screen are not enough
I want to hug you
with full emotion
without the meaningless
emoticons and the asterisks
that means I really,
really
want to hug you
but you're there
and I'm here
How do we breach
the distance?
Why can't we touch?
I really want
to hug you
and tell you
I love you
*so much

Why couldn’t you love me!

That’s your question?

I loved you through everything.
I loved you when you hated yourself
I loved you so much I stopped loving me
I loved you so much I hated me
I loved you through it all.

Then when you loved yourself again?

My question is?

Why couldn’t YOU love ME enough
Through the same thing

Just...Stop

Stop wishing away the lines on your face.
Every line means you smiled!
Stop wishing away your stretch marks.
For every one of them there is a grateful child.
Stop wishing away those extra pounds.
It means you have food to eat.
Stop wishing away your corns and bunions.
It means you have shoes to put upon your feet.
Stop wishing away your grey hair!
It means you've had many years to enjoy life.
Stop wishing away imperfections,
perceived by others lies.
There is someone out there
who sees you
as perfect in their eyes!
Badges of Courage!
Not shame.
Please...
Stop wishing them away.

I trace your faded prints upon the dirt
around them, mud congeals to form my hurt
failing falling stars confuse my path

I shuffle feet for miles but stay inert
all false the trails refusing to subvert
antipathetic strands to stir my wrath

The trees all flay themselves to spill the secrets
thou swore undying oath to never keepest
lest all worlds align to hide the truth

Pausing, taking breaths beneath the deepest
floors of pits that tenderly would keep us
undestined, lost and wild to know our youth

And seek you out I must, I must, I will,
at universe's end, a galaxy
where we would rest, reborn; become, to be
where every breath relaxes into still

Ever will you walk alone, until
you witness me in my entirety
Come, my unforgotten one, you see
arrival less one is a bitter pill

I liked everything about you

your body, your soul,
your poems, your kiss
your not so gentle touch
your brushing fingertips?
your secrect smile,
your irreverence
your ability to sing,
your inability to dance?
your shy way of smiling
your angry way of
communication
your cute way of saying
*I'm not your exhale
but your inhalation?

moisture wets dry tongue,
drink in the adulation
that you ****** upon

say it again
how you need me
to make your decisions
is that how you see me
as your counsellor?
Not a mate or partner
or as someone who walked
by your side.
Someone you could
confide in
or  just someone, behind
you could hide?
My skirt is certainly
volumous enough
My arms could hold
back a monster tide
with just a bucket
Take my advice
and spit on it
ground it beneath your heel
and yell how I'm not fit
to tell you how
I know you,
Own it
Take the shoe
and make it fit
*I'm over it

when I dropped
your favourite mug
and it shattered
into a thousand pieces
when I spoke
your name
and only silence
was my greeting
when I played
your favourite song
and I couldn't hear
your voice
singing
when I laid down
in bed alone
I didn't feel your touch
just the raw stinging
when I showered
waiting for you
to peek
I stepped out
mute
wrapped in
aloneness
wishing your ghost
could speak

you stood beside the closed door, hand outstretched, ready to turn it but, I'm the only one who noticed
her perfume that lingered, lipstick
stains upon your fingers and hair
that I once ran my fingers through
but true, you stood there silently
head bowed, eyes lowered,  
shoulders held so very proud
and you owned it! You owned
every second of the last dance
and as you pulled away from my
embrace you stopped, tilted you
head and said,
I never wanted
anything less more, than to walk
out this door
I laid my hand over your fingers that continued to grasp the door and kissed lips that I've kissed a thousand times or more
and tasted only your regret, wondered if what I had to say was topical or simply emotional and I asked you the most important question I had left inside, a dire need to be said
Don't forget... A ******* thing

I twisted the **** until the door opened wide, put my foot on your **** and kicked with everything I had left inside
I saw you tumble, I watched you fall,
I photographed into my memory
the instant you realised
*you had it all

You don't get to judge me
by my outward appearance

Unless you live inside of me
and live what I experience

You don't get to laugh at me
or shed a tear at my pain

You don't get to know me
unless you live inside my brain

You don't get to know me
unless you appreciate where I stand

You will never get to know me
by ignoring my outstretched hand

I** am the sparkle upon the waves
only parts that are a whole
know that I twinkle in your gaze
you whisper to me untold
in less words that are bold
fragments are all that catch your eye
Shards of broken glass
of crushed moments and empty dreams
our solitary shadows are the past
existence is merely just a need
bleed wounds that would choke us
the cut needs to be deep
sunsets are beyond our hopelessness
lonely existence is beneath our lies
reprise just closed eyes

Silent treatment
to silent screams
Pick a song
for me to interpret
and I'll play the game
but all the same
I'd prefer your mouth to open
and your words to spill out
from the hidden closet
where you hang your armour
Open up your armoire
and take your big boy ******* out
I don't usually allow
just anyone
to punish me, literally
but in the silence
the whip falls sharp
my silent screams
blend with the violin and harp
symphonicaly, it's a tragedy
emotionally it's a travesty
Physically a diversion
down the same old road
Ya are whatcha ya are
it's nice to know

I only tugged upon your silken curls
to remind you I was here
Intruding upon your salacious thoughts
your growling response
is nothing I fear
There is no singular thought
the plural is obtainable
Come! Let me melt upon you
Let the elusive mutuality
be equably available
I want you to be one with me
en mass and piled high
Like the stars of the universe
tripping over each other,
to lay down upon the sky
Like a song with a central verse
weaving choruses into forever
that single tug upon silken curls
is a reminder we are in this together

You're my favorite pastime
You're the flavor of all my years
You're the beat that starts my heart
You're the salt that tints my tears

You're the red haze of my anger
and the white mist as it clears
You're the new leaf on my tree
and the root of all my fears

You're my every kiss goodnight
You're my sunrise in the morning
You're my thought throughout the day
You're my moon as the night is dawning

You're my cup of coffee
you're my drink of wine
You're my shot of whiskey
You're my everything that is fine

You are so perfect in my head
so perfect in my heart
so perfect in the beginning
even more perfect at the last

You're my best friend, my lover
my partner and my all
You're the foundation of all of me
Without you I may fall

You're the one who taught me
that one plus one equals us
though the equation is now minus
I trust to go on, I must...

was your God the one
who took my Daddy away?
He wasn't very old...

was your God the one
that sat next to the orphan
who didn't pray
and mocked them
because they had nobody left?
Was it your God that took them?

Do you allow your God
his ***** work
and let him take
all the accolades
for War and Famine
and Pestilence
and Hatred
and just say
It's his way,
his right, by his design
as the Divine?

Was it your God
that intervened
in the alley
where there was a scream
where just a little girl
grew up way too fast
but brutally
she didn't last
until the next day
to understand
what it all means

He didn't intervene!

There was no intervention!
Stuttered prayers
from broken lips
fell like glass
onto uncaring concrete
shattering beneath feet
that shuffled past
one who prayed
but at the last
lost faith
in a
God
that just sits
on his ****
and asks for praise
but could not even raise
a finger
in benevolence

That's why I will never pray

Ask and you shall receive

*******!

Ask all you like, what you give to the Universe, you get back, imaginary playthings, give nothing!

Just my thought on that...

is not a disability to me
be it PTSD
or Bi Polar
or Anxiety Depression
or just riding Solo

it's not a disability to me
it may play havoc
with my everyday life but
it's not an impediment
or an indication
that you lack ability
to deal with living strife

it's not a disability to me
it's more a heightened empathy
a conscious awareness
not a disease (some cases can be)
but not a disability to me

it just means your fortitude
takes you to the next level
when the ground falls
beneath your feet
you don't lay down to grovel
you find ways to make
a near endless day
better than it was yesterday
you praise all tomorrows
because you made it today

your mental disabilty
has never been a disability
to me
*in any way

I left you
seven hundred miles ago
with a note that read,

I'm done with this ****

you should have known

when you woke up upon sheets
that were soaked with our final weeks, and you realised, that you woke alone, it wasn't just a joke,
that one thing should have made you know,

seven hundred miles later,
your bare *** is alone...

you should have known

and now I'm down the highway
seven hundred miles away
from you
checking out the sunset
wondering if you
see it
as blue as I do
are you seeing the splintering
and fracturing of the lightening
that splits between clouds
of such a perfect grey?

Do you even remember that day?

I do!

you should have known

how the ventricles in your heart
clip clop at such a slow pace
how the neurones that fire
within your brain
stitch together memories
so laconically

you should have known

that seven hundred miles
down the road
I was going to be more open
More free to be me
Less inclined to practice
this inhumanly farce

Seven hundred miles ago

You should have known

*It was never going to last

There it was just sitting
in the middle of the street
all black and white
waiting
for traveling feet

Herds of milling bipeds
traversed across it
as it stretched across
a sweltering pit of tar

While masses of
Auto.. mo.. biles
broke it’s back
wait
I think...
they call them...
Cars?

I just stood back

Watching

Waiting

Wondering

just contemplating

But still…
I was at a complete loss

I keep a vigil at the curb
waiting
for the zebra to come
and wondering…

*how do they know where to cross?