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Helen Jan 2016
"they" say it's easier
to rip off the bandaid quickly
presumably because the pain
is so fleeting
but is it okay by "they"
if I scream my hurt
drawing out every syllable
loudly, complete with raging
spittle and seething emotions
throwing buried truths
into a stunned face
that can't wake up
or shape up, or shake off
shackles of an insanely lost
predisposed personality
Is it okay with "they"
to hurl obscenities
to those that have been defeated
in their own mind
"they" say to rip off the bandaid
but I've found, by doing that
the wound bleeds more profusely
and it's harder to heal
for the bandaid,
"they" reviled
was the only ******* thing
the deepest cut together
It's not okay to lose your **** at someone who has lost grasp on reality... It's really not okay, not like "they" say. You really can't just rip a bandaid off a hemorraging person :(
Helen Oct 2015
I finally realised
what love truly is
then discovered
after 21 years
I don't have it
Helen Dec 2015
'tis the season
to be holy
'tis the season
to be jolly
'tis the season
to have fun
'tis the season
to be done
'tis the season
to feel stress
'tis the season
of such duress
'tis the season
of such renown
'tis the season
to seek ground
'tis the season
for the ultimate test
'tis the season
to seek final rest
this Christmas, I think, I will grant myself the ultimate gift of Silence
Helen Oct 2014
He said*
it's just like bees
that make the honey
a conversation between my husband and I, he can't understand why all us poets are not rolling in wealth... I love him so much :)
Helen May 2014
the pillow beneath my cheek
that swallows the moisture
of all of my tears
the river that became a creek
absorbing all my rejoice
the crux of my fears
the gently weeping song
that litters my heart with glass
cutting my nights
the place where I belong
and at the last
all your wrongs
become right
Helen Jun 2015
that's the
asked of
a time or
two, while
sipping from
a glass poured
for me  and you
what's at the end
of the bottle or of
the glass? I  do not
know and it seems
rude to ask. I hope
we don't drink  to
glass breaking in
reality, or try to
see the truth of
you, and me
Helen Apr 2014
Haunting memories

10 dozen different creatures
that stalk the night
119 of them
just looking for a fight

One of them sits
perched like a peacock
upon my laborious chest
and in jest
asks me
through colours of
blue, red, gold and green
tell us of things
that should be unseen

Ahhh, no
I think I'd rather stick
to the Back and White
and undream
all the things
that would haunt me
at night
Helen Jan 2014
Swim **** it, Swim
So easy just to float
Come on, don't give in
Emotions clog my throat
It was easier yesterday
when standing  upon the cliff
Tears trembled upon eyelashes to say
Promote tomorrow not as when, but if*
as the waves toss a weary soul
swimming could just be a demise
splitting limbs to rearrange as whole
shedding a simple disguise
This body is not lost at Sea,
it just completed its journey
Helen Jun 2013
all it takes
at day break
is a kiss goodbye
less than 10 seconds
out of  your life

during  the day
a text message to say
Thinking of you, Wife
less than 10 seconds
out of your life

as I glide through the door
my feet don't touch the floor
anticipating your embrace
less than 10 seconds
out of your life

A hello
A goodbye
A gentle touch
A single sigh

less then 10 seconds
out of your life

in mine
Helen Nov 2014
they were nobody to me

You are everything*

I see
Helen Sep 2013
Sorry I'm not enough
Sorry I'm not tough
Sorry I'm not pretty
Sorry I have no pity
Sorry I can't cry
Sorry I can't try
Sorry we clash
Sorry my eye is black
Sorry for my smile
Sorry for a while
Sorry I looked up
Sorry I looked down
Sorry I looked around
Sorry I looked at the ground
Sorry for the heartache
Sorry for the pleasure
Sorry for the misconception
Sorry for the false treasure
Sorry we connected
Sorry we felt at ease
Sorry you wasted so many years
Helen Jan 2015
only a few words
are needed
*to consider more
Helen Mar 2014




my body

*my soul


Helen Jan 2014
did you feel them?
those words that are mine?

did they kiss your lips?
or simply drift behind eyes
that missed fingertips

Ten thousand emotions
Held in my heart
And yet, they depart
Never to just sit all alone
Kindness will repay

Yawning is the cavity
Of  split open feelings
Under fragile skin
*Please stay..,

Nobody knows where they are going, they just pretend as they look forward that they have a destination in mind, only to find, they've come full circle, back to where they began and then, they just start again
They cry for what's lost on the path, it fell out of their pocket, somewhere along the way but, the wonder of the Circle is,  it has no end, they can pick it up again, someday....
one of my most treasured pieces of Poetry I have written has just reached 14149 reads.
I wrote this at a time of great sorrow. When my most important part of me contemplated leaving me, eternally, after receiving a tremendous physical and mental blow to his life but, I stood strong and still stand by every word I wrote, for him, for me...  Thank you for reading ,)
Helen Dec 2016
She closed the door
on another year
that was never hers
from the start
She breathed a sigh
of relief
in the darkness of
her heart
For another year
is not for her
She no longer
has it in her
to pretend
all over again

a Loser
can become
a Winner
Helen Nov 2014
Our vows made
in front of our Son
the creation of our love
You're Still the One

Our path was broken
but we helped each other on
many tears floated us
You're Still the One

Many angry words, never a lonely night
Forces that would bring us undone
Soft apologies, kisses in the breeze
You're Still the One

One ear to the haters, the other over my heart
beating in rhythm to walking a path begun
Keeper of my heart, the missing part of my soul
You're Still the One

A house, a family, responsibilities
No resentment for what we have become
No doubts, thrown out, with others aspersions
You're Still the One

Two souls stitched together, not so haphazardly
Two hearts that match a frantic beat of the same drum
Two lives woven together intrinsically
*You're still the One
On this day, my 20th Wedding Anniversary.
I Love Him!
He is the reason I wake up each day. He is the reason I go to sleep with a smile on my lips each night. He is my reason.

Inspiration from Shania Twain

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come, my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it."
But just look at us holding on
We're still together, still going strong

(you're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(you're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothing better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missing

They said, "I bet they'll never make it."
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(you're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(you're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

You're still the one

(you're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(you're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come, my baby
Helen Jun 2013
so much that separates us
from beginning to end
We woke in the morning
several hours apart
There was no kiss
Good Morning
no day to start

Voices over the phone
pretend they hold hands
only hanging up your voice
could my breath expand

Dinner over the table
is an empty treat
clashing gazes meet
Laying down,
so close to you
beneath the sheets
we are separated
by inches,
and close the gap
for heat

Days are lived by ourselves
Nights we become someone else

As I lay me down to sleep
I hope you wake
and my soul you claim
with lips that ask
my heart to keep

Nothing comes between us
beneath the sheets
it can be so easy to close a small gap...
Helen Jun 2015
It's your birthday today!

I made you a cake
100 parts love
1000 parts heartache

It even has frosting too!
it's blue

There are 52 candles
34 you will never blow
18 was the time
it was decided you'd go

Oh Brother!

How the world has moved on
without ever getting to hear
*your song
I miss my brother everyday, more so on his birthday... it's been 34 years and the pain is still as sharp as ever :(
Helen Oct 2013
I can wait over an hour
for a bus that never comes
to take me to a job
that has never been fun

But I can live with that

I can wait for 9 minutes in line
for a cup of coffee
that I don’t have to make
I don’t even have to try…
I’m standing behind Mr “Chatty”
but even he can’t make me cry
in that 9 minutes

I can go for over 8 hours
listening to people heave at me
while smiling back, beyond the phone line
They don’t know I’m ******* back coffee
it’s the smile in my voice that they ‘see’

I can even spend less than 5 hours asleep
Thank the Heavens for alcohol
Surely even the ancient Gods
are left realizing their Ambrosia
is not the be all and end all

I can even hold my breath
for the minute, or two
that it takes me
to duck my head
under the shower spray
to wash away the day
That has surely lived up to my expectations
with an obviousness
before I awoke
that I anticipated it would lack

All of the above I don’t regret
But when you breathed
I love you with all my heart

I just knew…
Just listening to that

There goes some of my life I’ll never get back

Thank you for that :-S
Dec 29, 2010
Helen Jan 2012
7 hours of torrential rain
driving slowly while insane
420 minutes of Country Music
which you know I hate
interspersed with idiosyncratic ads
that make a mockery of others fate
84 cigarettes flow out of the ashtray
one lit by the other as the miles
faded away. The glaring orange tip
as it burnt down to ash and died
is the only reason I lit another
thinking of you and my hope
to keep you alive
for just one more mile.
Please be ok...
Less than 1/3 of a day ago
I picked up my phone only to hear
several tears, and a small hiccup
and heard a heart trying to be brave
and I literally dropped my life
to get into my car, which is now
my home because I breathe the same breath
as the life that is now mine to save
All I said was
I'm coming, now behave
So after 7 hours of listening to
how His and/or Her heart did someone wrong
because I can't change the station
because the radio is broken and, well
I actually do like a heartbreaking song
I'm almost there but thinking of you
my heart lurched and my whole body ******
and the Cops where there, and I'm caught
I would have been there sooner but apparently
it takes longer to write a simple ticket
when they want to be long winded
about the horrors of speeding.
I want to scream at them
Look at my bleeding eyes
Have you seen my ashtray?
Can't you hear the garbage spewing
from my radio? Don't you think
all that adds up to I need to be on my way?

So after 7 hours of torrential rain
overflowing ashtrays and a $540 fine
I'm next to you, in your bed
as we lay under linen sheets and whisper
to each other, about how heartbreaking
Love can be and I'm relived to be here
even as you repeat you are fine
Sleep deprivation and a small stipend
to the Law and Order that protects us
is a small dividend to pay.
And the Country Music still ringing in my ears?
is pure torture but everything
is a small price to pay
when summoned by a friend
in need
All the horrors above
are suffered gladly
You call me, I heed
You cry, I bleed
Your champion in rusty armor?
an oldie :)
Helen Aug 2015
it's chilly tonight
the kids are sleeping
I came home late from work
you questioned the hours
I'm keeping
so I sit alone
outside, where I like to hide
you went to bed hours ago
alone in the space
where we divide
I'm going to come to you
after just one more drink
and a little pep talk to myself
I hope, I think,
you'll be asleep
and the awkward conversation
that's rotting on the beach
with each low tide
Is something we can
look forward to
when I've borrowed
some more pride
Helen Jul 2012
I was standing ***** in the bathroom
when my Husband walked in
he only noticed that the mirror was
misted as his daily ritual began
He brushed his teeth slowly, methodically
while his eyes squinted at tiny lines
that branched from each of his eyes
but the golden glow from my skin
beaded with lightly fragrant droplets
of water paled in comparison to the
grey hair he reluctantly noticed as
he skimmed his razor across his chin
The sun didn't shine much that day
but that night when I accidentally
dropped my towel as we passed in
the hallway he lifted his foot to walk
past but then let it fall as he stopped
and slowly bent to pick up the towel
but didn't hand it to me, just kind of
gazed at me with eyes that backed me
back into the bathroom to stand *****
once again, I knew the moment he
smiled, the rain fell to mist and there
was a break in the clouds
Helen Jul 2014
Are you okay?


have a nice day...
Helen Oct 2013
Want to walk with me?
We can talk, or not
Helen Nov 2013
It's a matter of choice
as I pick through the basket
Alluring, ****, Servicable
Barely there, You Asked For It

My choice

As my fingers pluck at Silk
and Satin and Lace
I can imagine your face

In the shower scents arise
Chosen gels floral a surprise
I've picked an outcome
as scented by my skin
I'm hoping to be outdone
by the choice of fabric

One small scrap of fabric
stands between
Helen Jan 2014
Standing at the crossroads
of a busy city byway
Is a man who yells at anyone
even if they avoid his eye
'cause he's got something to say
Jesus is here to stay!
He lives in your heart
and rides the subway
He is coming back for you
... Someday! but Hallelujah!

there is just a distant echo
and remnants of his passion
as you step into the intersection
upon a You May Walk sign
all that's left behind
is the ringing in your ears
and an adrenaline rush
as you sped up, before
and after the crossroad
of Fire and Eternal Damnation
not being a believer

At the mouth of the Alley
that guards a revolving Hells door
sits a single example
of humanity unwashed
that silently gazes upon a new day
He's also got something to say
but is rendered mute by condemnation
a single black mark
against a nation, his nation
The one he fought for, and died for
his soul never made it back
His body, empty of compassion
turned to the streets
looking for something, anything
he will never get back

Yes, he's got something to say
even if he will never
spill his horror
That is where, today, went
what sat alone in my pocket
There went my last dollar
Helen Oct 2015
I've got your kids
I've got your wife
in a stranglehold
I've got your life

I've got your joy
I've got your smile
I'll take it all
in a small while

I'll take it all
in a measure of time
through the splits
in your heart
and the cracks
of your mind

I'll mask all your grief
with a tiny white pill
I'll set your loved ones
once you lay still

I've got your family
I've got your friends
they were easier to
the feelings should end

I've got your hopes
your wishes, your dreams
locked inside a prison
crafted by you, it seems

I've got your mentality,
your morality,
your questionable
standing within society
so, don't dally
What's it to be?


**Your Anxiety
Helen Aug 2013
In this autumn wind
whatever will Summer bring?
perhaps, a new skin?
Helen May 2012
Such Wicked Love
would never be
He knew that true
but could not see

Past golden glow of
too soft skin
eyes that bore
the soul within

he could fall
to her below
To touch his hand
across her brow
To walk beside her
in the light
To hold her gently
in the night

He made his choice
His arms thrown wide
to be with her
and by her side
He took that step
as time marched on
His world moved slow
Hers whirled on

He crushed his wings
against his back
and tumbled down
Into the Black
He landed softly
The pain he felt
Then wept with angst
as he knelt
in front of her
where she lay
Her life had marched on
within his day

He’d walk the earth
No wings to fly
and keen for her
Until he die

His broken wings
upon his back
He was Fallen now
could not go back
an oldie ;-)
Helen Oct 2014
I'm not really who I pretend to be
I'm not really angry at other people
I'm more angry at me.
It's just easier to reflect on them
as they are defenceless,
though it seems senseless
for them to be the object of my ire
while they sit patiently, waiting
to be object of my desire
It's simply easier for me to paint them
in water colours
that drip upon a canvas
that can't absorb it
than it is to mar the canvas of my life
with Oils, that appear more solid.
I've been painting (another love of mine) a lot, experimenting... words flow into pictures and I see a pattern...
Helen Aug 2015
Chapter 1
No one is ever going to look at you
like you're insane, only the mirror,
as you poke faces at it, while it stares at you, projecting blame, simply declaring you insane as you stare at the back of your head, in the mirror, because even your reflection could not look you in the face, it's not disgrace, it's just an automatic response to the pain.

Chapter 2
When in a grocery store, it's clearly not sane to ask the cereal box to prove their claim of bringing joy to the day, in a Special K way, nor appropriate to argue with said box as you tightly grip it's cardboard bits and demand it kiss you on the lips with its Special K brand.
It's just not okay.

Chapter 3
When tossing pennies in the fountain with a special wish, just let said penny float to the bottom. When wanting to take back said wish, it's clearly not acceptable to ***** to your tighty whiteys and yell
Never *****!!! will I spend one cent on you and a useless wish then execute a perfect swan dive into three feet of water then pretend to drown while trying to rescue your wish... Insanity does not work like this! (reference the criminally insane handbook titled I Stalk You For MY Pleasure)

Chapter 4**
Love is a bottomless pit of Insanity. It's like a honey jar that attracts nothing more then a colony of ants, one or two bees, (wondering where their honey went) and a rabid badger that can't ***** off the lid. Aforementioned badger will proceed to pound said honey *** against a rock, perhaps killing an ant or two an maybe a bee, but not gaining access to the honey in a jar that looks like glass but is actually clear titanium, the best protection against Love... see?
It's easy!
there are many.. MANY more chapters...
Helen Sep 2014
Dinner is ready my love!
Is it? Well get me another beer *****!
Stalking to the refrigerator
past the knife block and the empty
bottle of wine, both are mine
except then you say
Hey! This ***** cold
and the argument grows old
because I called dinner 45 minutes ago
in bed
you rolled over
and said
*I love you
Helen Oct 2012
painted some pictures
colored my hair
spoke to my reflection
that didn't know I was there

counted the hours
we were apart

added the hours
you owned my heart

minus the minutes
that didn't start

added two and a half

discovering the cuckoo clock
had only one laugh

spent an lifetime beneath
a hot shower spray
where sins are washed away
and it's okay
to pray
removed excess body hair
cleansed what I wanted to keep
washed every inch
of my skin
pretended the tears
that stung like whips
was an ocean spray
and not the life
that I weep

crawled into bed
smelling of cotton candy
and living sin
musk in midnight darkness
mixed as a dry tonic and gin
to find empty sheets
on the other side of the divide
even my memories
could not decide
if such a routine
in a forgotten maze
can survive such days
Helen Mar 2016
she wallows in confusion
when she can't express her pain
and every day she can't talk
literally drives her insane
she holds onto her panic
hiding inside her insanity
but every now and then
she decides to break free
She spreads her wings
and calls one number
She know her wings will be tucked
beneath a heart that does not slumber
Where she can rest her head
upon a regular heartbeat
and rest her heart
where it's safe to weep
A nest of Hope
A nest of Peace
A comfortable place
for tired wings to Sleep
thank you for being my sanctuary
Helen Sep 2013
he empties his pockets
at the end of the day
she hates random
pieces of paper
in her washing
cleaning out the lint filter
mumbling to herself
shaking out the snow
of forgotten wishes
from her clean clothes

he can't say

that was the receipt
for the flowers I sent
or the lay by for something
simply fantastic,
regardless of what's spent

so he dutifully empties
his pockets each evening
before leaving
his clothes for cleaning
and then sits silently
holding onto
all of his dreams
from his pocket...
staring at receipts
of his attempt
to please
his woman, his wife
the love of his life

there is no snow
on his clothes
because each night
he remembers
to empty
his pocket
full of dreams
*and hope
Helen Jun 2016
When I gave up, I pretty much just stopped, like two feet firmly planted into quicksand. I just stopped.
When I could no longer take a step, I just let my arms fall down to my side, fingers spread and just sighed.
Chin tucked to my chest, an even breath, then a scream that only echoed on the inside.
When I stopped screaming, I was still sinking and the crushing absence of movement made me bold. I struggled and I flailed but to no avail did I become free from the quicksands hold.
Within reach of my fingertips was a ghostly branch, from a tree that had weathered sicknesses untold. But still that tree reached out for me and as I took hold of it's ghastly brittle fingers, and even now in my mind it lingers, I took that tree out by the roots to sink in cahoots beside me, lingering in this quicksand.
I immediately apologised profusely to the tree that now sinks beside me.
The tree answered back, no, please it was I that lacked the fortitude to save thee.
Oh no! I thought, it was my troubled mind that led me to sink so deep, it was me who should weep quicksand tears for the tree who fell for me so blindly!
So me, and the tree, used each other, you see, one to stay afloat and the other to lay down finally,
to hold another up kindly.
Helen Aug 2012
Yesterday, they said there would be a hurricane
but I didn't listen, yesterday
Today I needed supplies, food, nappies, formula
and I was out of time. I had to drive
So I set out into the dark, just me and the baby
we didn't have far to go, not far
Yesterday I wouldn't have picked up a stranger
in the street, 'cause yesterday
was when I learned my lesson
today he was slogging against the wind
and rain, with rags covering his feet
We ended up inside his space
where he carried my baby girl
and laid her next to the fireplace
and he took me down the stairs, by the hand
where he looked at me like he truly cared
and calmly chained me to the wall
where I stood tall, until I crumpled
I was never going to get out of there
All I wanted to do was feed my baby
All he wanted was my baby
I died nightly as he raised my little girl
I cried daily as I saw her become a woman
inside her completely undecided world
He bought many more women to himself
as I looked at him from the wall
hating every single breath that he took
He never noticed as I shook
while he bragged that his baby girl
was growing to be a Doctor of great repute
I just wanted to puke, she was becoming the person
I always thought she'd be, except for me...
She came to see me one day
my baby girl, lied to... standing there
She never really decided to accept what her
had to say, as he gave to her tons of excuses
why she couldn't go below the stairs
but by then she was curious
and what she got when she was there
was me
her Mommy
in all my glory, even though I thought
she never saw me, but she got the story
and as he walked down the stairs
in the middle of the night
he didn't see her waiting
she waited for the fright
the look on his face said he did it
because he cared
but as a Doctor she didn't dare
pretend that he was slated to be long
for this world, because in her hand
where her fingers curled, was the injection
that would make sure that he kissed a long
he raised her with all his might
to be something I would have been proud of

*She made it right...
Helen Oct 2012
the rib donated
turned into a spine

a woman
Helen Mar 2016
We set a paper ship
upon the waters
in hope it will never know a storm
we have bared of our past
In hopes that maybe to gather
they could fair better than us
as clear skies graced our thought
now storm clouds loom heavy.
It's never as we planned
but never our fault.

Those paper ships slip
from between our fingertips
before we are ready to set sail
We watch them bob
upon traitorous waters
standing upon stormy land
and know only,
when they are lost at sea
that our casting off
has failed

Under moonlit nobility gets beyond our controls and storms
we seldom grasp, the ships sink faster than the images we have lives since painted within our thoughts.
It all comes full circle in the end

Full circle begins
when weeping upon a midnight beach
waiting for the debris to float in
To sit upon the sand
and not understand
how paper boats can't float
without sails
We set them out upon stormy seas
Hoping them fine and fair weather
only to see them smashed upon the shore
with no guidance from above
just a single feather
Buried deeply in their chest
a single hope
they could fly
now they lay broken
upon a distant shore
dying under a whisper
of... *I tried
The opening lines are by John Patrick Robbins aka Gonzo. The most amazing supportive friend I will ever have!  They were the perfect lines for me to open myself up as a parent to the fact that we can fail as a parent to not only to losing our children to death but also to losing our children to a living death. His name IS Darcy :)
Helen Nov 2014
Killing Me Softly repeating in my head
thankfully it is now the only sound
I’m so sure that was what you were humming
as you crushed me into the ground

So now that I am so small and broken
I don’t know where to start
Perhaps as just a small token
You can start with my shattered heart

There is only just a fraction left
If you want to tear that apart
If you truly want to leave me bereft
That is where you should start

Why leave any small piece of me
That should ever feel such pain
For I feel any piece of me, you see
Should ever be left to stay sane

You have broken just about every bone
In a body that no longer has a care
You’ve taken your revenge against
blank eye,s that can only now just stare

As you break apart what is left
and try to revive a wasted life
As I curl into an even tighter ball
I’ll pretend I don't see the knife

I’ll ride the pain to continue to cling
to the only part of me that remains whole
The very small part of me you tried to own
But you will never have my soul.

It’s mine to take wherever I go
No matter how much of me you have broken
It’ll let you rip out my heart
as just a small token

some more old 'lost' stuff :)
Helen Mar 2014
A True Parting

She raises her tiny fist
to plant in the middle
of his stricken chest
She spreads her fingers wide
across his heart
her open palm
comes to rest

They may have come to pass
in the middle of the night
but currents tend to mask
what wrongs that can be right
Tossed together inside a maelstrom
only to shelter
each other from,
the small atrocities
of both their realities
only the two of them know true
what each other sees

She says

"See that ship over there the pier
I should be aboard it I stand here"

October 4 2011
Richard Shepherd was a friend met here, a long time ago, brother to Bathsheba and both of them amazing poets and great friends. Richard and I shared message poems together and I miss him and Bath tub every day...  have decided to share some of our personal poems :)
Helen Sep 2012
Ambivalence sat in a corner staring off into space
as Antipathy tried so very hard to keep up with the pace
Cruelty crept up behind
to pinch them one by one
while Greed badgered them all
to be a part of the fun
**** writhed upon its chair
and licked its lips upon a grin
Timidity cringed against the wall
bombarded by thoughts
of touching unholy sin
Narcissism saw no one else
while Awareness saw them all
When Love walked in
to join the group
the walls began to fall....
Helen Jun 2014
there so many, too few
I would spill the truth to
but so many more
would smell the lies

but I tried

I tried to be truthful
To you, to Me
to me, especially

but Truth is under rated
given the score

One ~ Nil

to you

I wanted less

you won
with more
It's all in the numbers, it's a numbers game, you win with greater numbers, but the loss is your shame
Helen Nov 2013
what utter *******

If anything
it makes the endless days
It fades the light
in some eyes
and it becomes so dark
that even the brightest day
is just dim

It takes too many brain cells
to try to keep a connection
long distance
All the while
it feels like
you have lost
a limb

It screws with delicate senses
then plants seeds of doubt
It takes just one word
to make you wonder
why you are apart
what’s that all about?

It is lonely
endless days
It is bound to unravel
two seconds after
you’ve had to live
through that 1st phone call

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Not likely…*

Not when there are many others
right in front of you

Why have nothing
when you can have it all?
Helen May 2014
this is not poem
or a song
or a poem slash song
it's not about me
or you
or about right
or wrong
it's not about family
or about friends
or the boy slash girl
next door
who has the locker
parallel to our/yours
just down the corridor

this is not a poem
about revenge
it's not about
invoking jealousy
or advertising
who falls between
your legs next

No longing to be
just a cheap floosy
No hoping to
with an ill thought hex
Here you'll find
sitting pretty
like mismatched pearls
around an unguarded neck

Add a poem?
I do believe I will
make it feel like
Even better still!
Helen Apr 2014
****** Smart phone
just deleted
one of my poems

ahhh ****

Did I have back up?


Just remember it titled

ahhh ****!

a popular wording
of how I was feeling
unable reproduce it
word for word

how absurd!
I wanted to read it
Hit delete
It said are you sure?
I said ok

and it went away :(

*ahhh ****!
Think it's time to put these drunken fat fingers to bed... They are obviously no match for a smart phone :(
Helen Feb 2015
No one told me
I could not breathe
without you
No one told me
you could turn
so blue
Nobody told me
I could be robbed
is this the strangled whisper
so fondly spoken of

No one has ever uttered
about how you
could be held
Almost every living person
rejoiced daily
as you expelled
You can't be held
by the hand
only kisses on skin
is a ghostly touch
You can't be captured
except by an open mouth
sharing a passion
and loving rough
I almost had you once
I breathed you in
with Love
as elusive as you are
you ghosted in
and out of me
and left me breathless
to the last
Helen Apr 2013
Escapism is a favored pastime
Only rhythm  can force a rhyme
Seven sets of open packets breathe
One green bottle is proud to lead

An empty glass has closed its vision
in anticipation of a real decision
Laughter ran into a closed and locked door
It made me smile as it fell to the floor

Hark the warnings of yesteryear
whispered from dead lips into a closed ear
When last time was a face, not a place
and all good dreams were laid to waste

Step gently onto the astral plane
when there is nothing left to gain
So many bitter pills can change the past
Coming second is like coming last

I give you my breath to light the fire
and sink into a long ago desire
With tools to unravel the bonds of Love
its easy enough to dispose of
an oldie :-)
Helen Oct 2013
sitting in the darkness
the moonlight danced along
the tears upon my face
I licked my own wounds
waiting to exhale my thoughts
Can you say nothing to me?
I would be ok with the silence
at the other end of the line
If you'd just call me to see...
Caught inside a land mine
that shreds souls with fear
are tiny little pieces of hope
that a voice will appear
and not say anything...
but will listen to a heart shredding
to a body hurt, a soul bleeding,
that will mouth nothing remarkable
uncaring where the wreck is heading
Unbroken thoughts are justified
when Silence lays down, by the side
of a battered body needing warmth
Two arms wrapping around
someone who is cold inside
is the remedy to a shattered mind
I thought?...
Ok, so it's hard to talk
Our inside voice decided
to take a walk, no softly, softly
gentle as she goes
No I'm ok but you're not
let's talk how the wind blows
How the stars align
I've got your back
Your sadness is well of Grief
but I don't want my penny back

I understand, really, who wants to listen
to a faceless voice just crying
making no sense whatsoever
Who wants to talk about Death?
said no one...Ever
If it were my choice?
I'd want your silent voice
to those who don't have my number your heartfelt messages had a voice, to those that do, and the phone call I didn't receive? Your choice...
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