now i know that the closest thing to real love i’ve ever known
is the love i’ve given others—
i’ve been robbed
stripped, emptied out
yanked in every direction
while im crying out
“just let me love you, i want to love you
please just let me love you!”
heart in my hands while im on my knees crying out that i just want to love..
and be loved the way i love others
i’ve been played and toyed with
like im a souless human being
like i deserve the pain
as if the amount of love i give them isn’t the most intense, beautiful feeling my body has ever created—
now painful.
my heart has been ripped out of my chest
my heart...
they want to rob me
my beautiful treasure
but this robbery hurt the most
the most deceiving
the pain has never felt so unreal
so sickening....a raw pain
this confusion is overwhelming
this truth is excruciating
sick to my stomach, im disgusted
i want to wash it off
long, long showers
scrubbing the memories away
im bleeding
the pain is haunting me
the blood is him
i want the blood to stop
the puddle of red water, flooding me
stealing my peace in the shower
i fall apart
you did this to me...you lied to me
you hurt me, you uncovered a new type of pain in my body...
i’ve been robbed naked
left on the cold shower floor
sitting still, feeling lifeless.

-h.u

you were supposed to be different
we were supposed to build a home
warm and comfy
you were supposed to listen on my bad days
hug the pain away
my shoulder to cry on
while i love you like no other
we were supposed to create beautiful memories
a family
with beautiful kids that taught me more about myself
you were supposed to be there when i realized i was born to be a mother
share the moment when i realized my biggest fear was my calling
it was supposed to be you
the father of my kids
we were supposed to make it out
and live the life you promised me
you supposed to be different

my harsh friend
you’re scared to love
bitter to the idea
you come off heartless
i see deep cuts
but i know your heart craves it
it hurts deeply at times
allow yourself to love
although it seems painful
when it is flourishing the feeling is amazing..
romance may seem unnecessary to the real word, but love is comfort and warm to the heart
it sparks the soul, breathtaking
you will learn many new emotions
and grow new understandings
something you need
i love you
love always
-h.u

dead end people
you’ll try to satisfy them with all your love and support
but they’re trapped inside their own mind
fighting demons...
it’s impossible for them to be satisfied
but when the time comes... and it will... when they make you feel like you aren’t enough
you have to remember you were everything and more
this is on them
they’re being suffocated within
and you’re trying to hold onto baggage that isn’t yours
you will always find yourself empty with them
trying your best to prove something
when you should already know your worth
walk away
they can’t be your person
let them go
-h.u

your smile is better than any word i’ve ever heard
my heart is where your love is at
your warmth hugs my soul
my home, my happy place.

i love you

i love you more than you could ever imagine...
the flaws that bruised your mind
the scars that made your life change
my heart sinks at the thought that we were so far apart
my soul feels pinned down and strangled at the thought of you getting lost
because i finally found you....
nothing else matters now that i have you here with me
every bone in my body will snap for you
every muscle in me will fight for you
for you to never get lost
for you to never feel empty again
the world has been so cruel to you
but the universe had a route for you
a route that led you to me
we love you
so let the pain go
let the hurt heal
forgive...because i promise
i will never let you go

i thought my mind was at ease
i thought it was all better
but my heart still aches
and peace is disturbed..
heart in my throat
my chest hurts
the sadness is heavy
pressing against my body
the pain wants to rip out of my skin
relapsing
the pain still stings
but a little less