Black clothed kissing
in the subway
she smelled like 6 months of
soul searching
digging through herself
with **** and coffee
he grew a bit, not physically
but something inside him
wasn't there before
they held each other
the same way you held
a sinking ship
Carefully at first,
and then completely
as tight as possible

I want to be able to kiss you
And now feel like the sun
Is dying inside of me
Want to wake up to the sight
Of you and not remember
How long we have left
Want to hold you for as long
As possible
Until I can feel the thunderstorms
In-between us
The sheer weight of an anchor
On my stomach
When my heart drops another meter
Filled with stones that you’ve carved
Words like two years or six months
On to them
6 shots of ***** will make me throw
Up
I hope 10 shots will lighten the weight

I feel like trash being ready
to be picked by whoever has
the worst taste
finding out later
that they only needed the bag.
emptying my contents on to the grass
half broken and dismembered
pieces of glass left behind from the time
I broke my mirror
unfinished 40 ounces from winter break.
the first time I ever got drunk and threw up.
It felt good.
Half a dozen 8ths
I smoked for a whole month
after she left me and my parents
kept lecturing me about
how much I ****** at
being alive

Drunk- half passed out
On the sofa, the cat
itching for a fight
again.
Tea infused *****
A regrettable drinking
game
a full shopping bag
destroyed in a night
stomachs full
scorched eyes from too
much crying
we’re high again on
the steps of a few
apartments
went back in
she was crying, threw up
twice. Once of the bed.
Again in the toilet
he was nice about it thought

She’s a desert and
you’re just another drop
of water for her to
soak up
you’ll feel fury and pain
a Hiroshima heartbeat
decimating the skyline
she carved on your back
you won’t feel anything
but he empty touch of
an ice cube
her fingertips criss-cross
your torso like a kite
Stamps her lips on
yours and sends you
Away; express mail
no return address
In to the palm of her
hand

Everyone wants something worth fighting for.
Something to wake up to
Something to justify all the pain
To make sense of why we keep doing the things we do
And you can tell me all you want about love
About the craters he leaves in your teeth from kissing
And the amount of flowers she plants in the places
Where you thought only cigarettes belonged
It’s beautiful to think that we live for that kind of stuff
The stuff that makes us wish days were longer
Breaths were shorter
And nights were infinite

Fireworks are a lot like promises
But I like the ones during New Years
Rather than the fourth
They have more meaning
Like:
Bang! : I promise to treat my parents better
Bang! : I promise to spend more time with the kids
Bang! : I promise to cherish her more often
Bang! : I promise to never look back

And then there are fireworks that
Can be heard more than once
The ones that shatter the sky and
Echo throughout the whole neighborhood
The ones that are lit to make a statement
Like:
I wish you were here right now.