I borrow money to pay rent,
I owe them something

I receive help to fix my truck,
I owe them something

Even if it isn't physical.
My obligation is at least to give
a simple Thank You.

But

My decisions are my decisions,
My thoughts are my thoughts,
My actions are my actions.

I do not owe explanations

I simply owe, the *sufficient truth.

I pledge allegiance
to my heart
to live unafraid
in a world apart
in a dimension of fear
to have hope and love
in times where I tear
to rise up above

I pledge allegiance
to my heart
to let it rule
or tear apart
for of it I have fear
to lose hope and love
but i'll not shed a tear
but wait for attention from above

Do you know what you desire, she breathed at me.
I do, I said, my breath creating spirits from the whirlwind of my lips over the snowbank.
Tell me*, she muttered, her eyes creating criss crossed laser sections of white fluff beneath us.
Never.

My heart is having a hard time staying in my chest where it belongs.
But it can't just keep floating around like this-
soon, it'll run out of oxygen.
Give it a temporary home?
Or maybe not so temporary.
I digress.

How didn't I get here is the real question.
How didn't I become the person I am?
How didn't I lay down my life for you?
And how haven't I given up yet?

I am not throwing away my shot
*Although it seems with you, I never had one.

it filters in
uninvited
unwanted
unneeded
yet sometimes the little wisps wish to escape
but can find no way to find a way
out from between the floating
minefield of dust particles

And so my heart
is dark

I introduced the birds to the flock
the dove was awkward, the sparrow, excited

but the falcon towered
and the partridge left
and the starling was left to cry
with the eagle just standing by

and who, you ask, who, who am I?

I am the flamingo.
Do I belong?
Not I.