i've been let down
countless times.
i've lost who i was while not knowing who i've ever been
but it doesn't matter anymore. i've
sketched the ideas of people who have failed me over and over again,
or perhaps i have failed them.
offered myself to some kind of world that casts me out,
that calls me a stranger, a liar, a dancer with no stage.
i've lost the need to love--it never needed me,
how should i desire its harsh arms? for the sake
of fear, fear of existing alone, living for myself?
and what is being alone--
the loneliest i ever felt was in a crowd, a crowd that does not
look deep into itself
to realize its austerity, to realize its small mindedness.
but to be alone is when the phone never rings, the welcome is slow and uneasy, the whole world is singing to a melody you cannot understand.
when all you want to do is love,
but nothing wants to love you, not even yourself
and you don't even blame anyone anymore.
how could you?

Drying out don't make much sense
As it a dehydratant
Still if I focus hard enough
I can see just where my pay went

Wettening up then
More accurate
Sounds like a pleasant bath
Hoping for a cleansing
Into which I can collapse

The sweats and twitches
First arrive
And then quickly *******
Replaced by itchy ennui
The shivers and the coughs

But none of this will last
I've trod this road before
Knowing the saucey demon
Waits for me to pour.

There's One above,
There's One below.
We don't talk of,
They learn to grow.
They're wild, they're mild,
The forgotten,
The middle child.

The overlooked,
They're the unseen.
They're quiet, they're pushed,
The color green.
Clean hurts piled,
The shy, mild, quiet,
The middle child.

They're the class clown,
The socialite,
They never frown,
They caused the fight.
Watch out—they're wild!
Seeking attention,
The middle child.

Perfection above,
So charming below.
Pushed and shoved,
They keep up the show.
The doormat on tile,
Seeking attention,
The unnoticed child.

Beneath the vast and starry sky we lie,
Where galaxies in quiet splendor spin,
Each touch a comet streaking through the night,
As hearts collide and form a world within.

Our bodies merge like constellations bright,
Mapping the endless reaches of desire,
The space between, a universe alight,
Each whispered breath, a spark, a flare, a fire.

In this expanse, we drift from time and place,
No bounds to what our love can e'er explore,
Like cosmic waves that gently interlace,
We float through space, and ask for nothing more.

For in your arms, I’ve found my world, my sky,
A galaxy where love will never die.

one day
i might forget
the things you did
to me

and one day
i might not hate you
anymore

but when that day comes
i’m afraid
i might love you
all over again

a.g