dark.**
so dark you wouldn't see your hand if you put it in front of your face.
and you most definitely wouldn't see what lies beyond it.
shadows and stars,
goosebumps and scars.

i dont remember the last time i slept with the light off.

give it one more moment
-they can add up
to something beautiful.

I reject the likeness of you _
To resolve this, I lied and become the finest of you

I reject the sameness as you _
To avoid this, dishonesty pleasures—
I believe the untruth

I reject the appearance of you _
Through the looking glass I continuously hate the one who stares back at me

I reject your charm _
Where most who encounter me seems to be magnetize to my own charisma

I reject the way you think
And here I am discerning how not to be you

I reject your cheating heart
I saw mom suffer from this and yet I cheated

I reject your rejection
Where I thought I forgive but I still despised your presence in my head...

there is beauty in the ugly

but when it comes to the ugliness committed by Mankind
- I cannot find it

Forced trust breeds jealousies
and in loving shells grow enemies

I'm sorry I'm now a careful thing
that I play in the shallows
eyes high to the trees.
Around the edges:
Where I can say I love you
and mean it and still be able to flee.
Because the last time the storm came
I nearly drowned.
So now I know every water safe bolt-hole
and how to run.
But I wish I still cliff-dived
into the deep of the lake
instead of staying
close and safe.