You saw my bracelet
Asked what it said
I felt a bit embarrassed
I think my face turned red.

"My story isn't over yet"
I sheepishly replied
"There's a semicolon too"
A piece inside of me died.

Mental health awareness,
I tried to explain
Yet I be you wondered
If I was truly sane

It might turn you away
I don't know what you'd say
If you knew the real me
What I struggle with each day

It will forever be a factor
When I meet someone new
I'm prepared for the worst,
Most don't know what to do.

Will he understand?
Most probably not.
He'll probably think I'm crazy
I get that a lot

I'll see where this goes
Won't let my hopes rise too high
I may have scared him off,
Always prepared for good bye

Now that the joy is gone
And the thrill has faded away
I'm back to fighting misery
Each and every day

Once I was in a place
Where the happiness was endless
Where every face had a smile
But now it all seems senseless

What's it matter now?
Those days are in the past
Now the pain has returned
And its here to last

The pain of which I speak
I have failed to find it's source
But it has always been within me
This my mind has enforced

So I'll trot along
Through tornados and hurricanes
Through blizzards and wildfires
Even if the pain remains

I search for him in my sleep.
His name falling from moon kissed lips,
and slipping into the tangled sheets.

I reach for him.
beyond blurred shadows and blanket barriers,
Arms stretching across vacant space so hopelessly.

Nightmares stay on the edge.
Pawing in frustration that his adoration elevates me,
placing me upon a pedestal far beyond their monstrous grip.

Night fades in a kaleidoscope of rising colors.
Crumbling the darkness into opulent  light,
leaving me always breathless in this unspoken place.