why does it matter
what i put in my mouth
or who i push myself into
as long as neither involves you

Comfortable doesn't get results, hard work does: It applies to anything in life.

When you're twenty-five,
and find yourself watching Pinocchio -
completely horrified,
then it might be time to reevaluate your life.

(When you're lying in a field next to a bar,
singing a song while out of your head,
and your friends call your name because they don't know where you are,
so you stop singing because you'd rather be left for dead,
and later you're crying in your best friend's car
while thinking of all of the terrible things that you've said)

When you can't handle people being nice to you
because you think you don't deserve it -
when you can justify substance abuse
because you feel that you have earned it,
then it's about time that you grabbed the wheel
and turn it.

I have trouble with existing,
as if I lack some proper requisite for insisting to persist.
I feel like just a composite of so many billion molecules.

I have a hard time defining truth.
So many contradictory influences tell me what to do.
I feel I'm better off sleeping straight through every single birthday.

I have never felt just simply okay.
Doubt hits me like a tidal wave.
It takes me away to far-off places,
and I can't say I mind it.

In coloring books; doesn't it always look better when you cross the color barriers?

this is my body
all awkward limbs & jagged frame
a mountain of bones
arranged haphazardly around wooden joints
i didn't want to be a “real boy”
but i didn't want to be a real girl either
i wanted to be a beach ball
or a kite
now my throat is a chimney
my lungs are a fire
& i don’t care who’s between my legs
as long as they spread me
like bible pages
that’s to say,
i don’t believe in god
unless i’m getting nailed
or writing boys eulogies in my underwear
the way i draw maps on my skin
to where the wild things went
i think monster in the closet
is synonymous with my coming out of it
skeletons and all
clinging to me
like dream catchers
full of expectation
that got caught in their nets
that’s why i take
"proceed with caution"
signs so seriously
and i do,
i do at night when i am alone
far from home
& scared that my gay is showing
i do
when boys want more
than to just split me in two
& leave both halves of me
draped over the bed
i do
when it comes to loving him
so unconditionally
that my heart feels like
the only muscle in my body
with any fight left
this is my body
it’s bent & broken
with anxieties
but it is mine.

Just realize that sometimes, these guys, tell lies; write in front of your eyes. Utilize thier visual lies, to victimize and brutalize people's lifes; your demise, they visualize, like its a prize. When you see it for yourself, you wont believe your eyes. Try Seeing people for what they are; end up, surprised.