to some
jealousy is just anger
maybe even rage

but for me, oh no,
jealousy brings me blindly to my knees.
jealousy leaves me bleeding out in the dirt.

jealousy makes my vision blur
and my stomach lurch
and my lungs squeeze
and my chest burn

for me
jealousy hurts
(in a very real, physical way)
leaving me light-headed and ill
all morning long

it is so hard to know what you want,
what you're trying to say.
you're like a little bug with wings
that won't quit bumping into my eyes
and buzzing in my ear.
but a cute bug
one that reminds me of the ocean and summer camp and being in love.
i would put you a a mason jar
with holes in the top,
so you can breathe. (duh)
and i would take you to my favorite fields
and alleys and stores.
show you all the things that make me happy
and try to make you happy too.

but i dont think
you would like being in a jar.
even one with holes in the top.