grief is just love
with nowhere to go

do you ever miss the rain?

which one?

that one.

yeah i do.

the simple feelings of safety

the smell of the rain

the similarity of home

where you didnt care about technicality

or psychology

when nobody cared about each other but felt home

do you miss the old screen?

you mean the OS?

no the screen

where it was simple but complex

the feeling of the rain mixed

feeling of friends

not that feeling

the other feeling

the similarity of the old layout

not old the better one

yeah the better one

where it seemed as if you knew it for so long

but you didn't

when everyone was innocent

no sketches

playing at home with no pressure

with a head that stops when you stop

the feeling of feeling as if the adults know everything out there

where you felt as if being sad was just a myth

miss the old room?

which one?

the magical one

where your imagination ruled the emptiness

now filled with a head that is technical as it can be

why?

because maturing

looking at the abyss called reality

where everybody is a child

being an adult is just a myth

everybody feels alone, feels selfish, trying to wisen up

they can’t

because you just can't

wise people aren't wise

they aren't adults

they are just children

acting like adults

people want to get on top

why?

because

why?

why not?

everybody looks up to you

everybody obeys to your rules

they aren't forced to or obliged to

they just do

why?

because they are searching for an example of an adult

they search for a person to look up to that no one can look down on you for

but when you are the person on top

you still feel alone

you don't feel complete

you feel like a child

but then you look for another person to look up to

there are no other

so the cycle continues

everybody stomping on each other

we are on top of a flying rock and everyone is focused on looking down upon people with different imaginary views

why?

why not just have fun?

do you ever miss the rain?

which one?

never sleeping
never calm
stress and uncertainty bubble underneath my skin
reflecting on every word you've said
where are you now
are you okay
are you alive, even
i'm just so worried about you
you've all i've ever cared about
all i've ever cherished
i've never loved anyone as much as you
and now
you've just
disappeared
no notes
not anything
at times i tell myself i'm just being paranoid
she'll show up out of nowhere
and we'll laugh
and laugh
and laugh
and maybe that's true
but i sincerely doubt it
you're gone
and i will cross mountains
sail seas
go across deserts
just to find you
i will never stop trying
even if it costs me my life
i will find you, my love
but until then
i'll just be writing poems to you
kinda futile, isn't it
writing poems to a person who might not even be alive anymore,
just with a sliver of hope
that they might find it
even though it's impossible
it's completely useless
but that's all i ever was in the first place, i suppose
never sleeping
never calm

i'm gonna need some guys
not these guys
because
well
they're kind of dead.