Somewhere
hidden
in her
soul,

beneath her
veiled words
and the glances she stole,
was a story left to unfold.
A desire to be noticed,
A desire to be admired.
As if her presence
was dripping in
molten gold.

~
I used to be the Fallen One
I got this name from a book
Fallen One is a male character
Who for sure got a good look
But his life consist of awful chapter
~

Since then, I used it as my pseudonym
We are not totally the same
I just love the darkness of him
I just love personalities that's dim

Let us say, I maybe depressed
Or I just find beauty in everything that falls
Or I just find comfort being a messed
That is why I've got this high walls

Maybe my words mean nothing
Cause I honestly don't know what I want to say
I just want somebody to hear me crying
And tell me it's going to be okay
(even tho it's a lie)

Silent pleas, save me from my own miseries
Self destruction button activated
Maybe I am made to be like this
To recover and then again devastated

I am always the fallen one
Never the rising one
Beauty I find in destruction
Peace I find in confusion

This is me, and I couldn't run away
I couldn't climb, I always fall
Maybe that's how I am supposed to be
Maybe that's how it is supposed to be

I'd rather see a thousand suns setting,
Loving you seems to be pleasure and torture.
Of course, you'd never understand,
Vast is my heart, yet you are the only thing it has.
Every tear that falls from my eyes, because of love,
You are the cause.
Open your heart, for once;
Undone will always be my confession of love.

I now consider,
Luxury- five hours of sleep
I'll be happy then

The cold wind touched my skin and my body trembled
As you removed the last piece of my clothing
You also removed my eyeglasses and asked
"Can you see me?"
I slowly nod even everything was a blur
The curve in your lips says that you smiled upon seeing me naked

You started kissing me
And I stand still because it was my first kiss
and I don't know how to respond
Kissing. Deeper. Harder
I found myself craving for more
Faster. Stop. Breath

You asked me to close my eyes
But I didn't (because everything is blur without my eyeglasses)
Instead I put my feet on your waist
Then hugged you tightly
Mainly for support and to make sure I will not fall

Slowly our body collided
It was your trap, a sweet pitfall
Your hands all over me
touching every part of me

You stopped on my *******
and started fondling
one more caress and I totally fall
in your sinful trap
****. Lick. Mash
And I can't make you stop
No, I don't want you to stop

So wrong yet feels so good..

My body starts to shake
As you put your hands in between
Fingers in and out
I'm losing my mind
Fingers in and out
Faster. Breathless
Fingers in and out
Exploring every part of me
Which I don't let anybody see

I'm in ecstasy
Pain and pleasure
never felt this way before

Panting. Wanting
You drop to your knees
and position your head in between
You bury your face
and started to taste
Lick. Lick. Lick
You said I taste like heaven
So I was in heaven
Lick. Lick. Lick
Pain and pleasure
never felt this way before

But you're not yet done
And I don't want you to be done
You asked me again
"Can you see me?"
Again, I nod even you're just a shape in my vision

You lay me down
"wider"
I just stare into vagueness
Then I felt it
You pushed inside me
Deeper.
Pain and pleasure
Pain and pleasure
I'm losing control
With every ******, I can feel you all over me
As you bury yourself inside me
you also touch my heart
In and out. Harder. Deeper
Breathless. Wanting. Moaning
The world is spinning

"Can you see me?"
I finally answered
"No, but it's not important
as long as I feel you near me is enough"
I was staring at the shadow of him as I said the words
It was dark, only heartbeats and ****

I'm sure you touched my heart
But you said it's just my body
that's pain and pleasure, I guess
I thought you touched my heart
but as you said, you just touched my body
I made love to you, but you just f_cked me
I thought it was love
Pleasure is all you see

The morning comes
Knowing you won't be beside me
But still I looked around
To make sure that what happened was real
Yes, it is indeed real, you were real
For you left marks
crumpled bed sheet
red marks on my skin
and bloodstains..

I wore my eyeglasses
my vision becomes clear
But no specs can clear what happened
under the moonlight

*Innocence gone
Pain and pleasure
The euphoria of last night..