You left.
I won't forget how empty my hands felt
Or the bottles I grabbed to fill them
I had to drive through the valley of our silence
And my ears never bled so much
I have punctured knees and bruised hands from begging
And all that's left of my hope is the dust between my fingers
Days move along but time is still
And the clocks tick louder in the dark
But I've learned that shadows only exist when there's light
So I found comfort in the black
Where I can't see my existence
I can't see your absence
And all I can feel is the cold floor on my hollow chest
******* I need to feel you now.

I'd have a better chance breathing with collapsed lungs
But I'd use my last breath to tell you to stay.
Please stay.

we try to play numb
to our thoughts and feelings
like there's a chance
they will leave us alone
as if they will disappear
if we try to avoid them
but they never will
they have no days off on their schedule
they make us who we are
they're parts of ourselves no one can see
at night
during the day
every second
every minute
every hour
we can't avoid ourselves, our minds
we can't escape the mirrors, the reflections
we can't be numb, and refuse to ever feel

The distance between you shakes the earth and you're just happy to feel something other than smoke from burning memories filling your lungs night after night. Well dear, at least now you're not as empty, but in the end you are what turns to ash.

I looked for love held by an empty hand
She left yours shaking too hard to ignore.
Brittle bones and cracked knuckles,
Burying your pain in the wall above a bed where she used to lay.
Its empty
Bare
Naked
And you've slept on the floor ever since the creases of her body indented in your sheets started whispering things you wish she'd say.
But no matter how forcefully you scream or how silently you cry
The voices in your head are always too loud.
I guess no one ever told you not to believe everything you hear.
So when your lifeless body is scattered on the floor,
Drugs filling voids,
3am,
And nights never seemed so dark;
When your throats too raw to curse her name
And another "please come back" only makes her feel further away
You'll learn that not every "I love you" is sealed with a kiss
And meaningful words are often emptier than the people who speak them.
When you start searching for the trek marks her fingertips left
Or her scent lingering in the smoke,
You'll learn that not every story has a happy ending
And sometimes the book ends once tragedy begins.