all i did is care
all you did is lie
sometimes you were the person i knew
sometimes you were the person i'd regret

all these lovely words you said
were nothing more than lies
it was hard to listen to them
but it was even harder listening to them
while you were showing me the opposite

you said you weren't like everyone else
and you were right
because you're worse

and i ask myself every day
why do i keep writing about you?

i'm doing so much better without you
i have healed from the pain you put me through
and there's art in everything that heals
i appreciate nothing more
i'm growing to be the best version of myself

i hope the next time
i cross your mind,
it hurts you to think of me doing better
than the way you left me.

somehow you are in my lucid dreams
& i'm left wanting more sleep
a constant fear of rejection and hurt
even in my dreams
i wish you'd understand

you said you liked the color blue
and i took you the ocean
i showed you the sky
you didn't like it

you said you liked the color yellow
and i bought you sunflowers
i introduced you to the sun
you didn't like it

you said you liked the color green
and i planted a tree for you
i tried everything i could
you didn't like it

then you said you didn't have a fav color
and i asked the universe for a rainbow
you didn't like it, as always
it was never enough for you

finally you decided you liked the colors red and purple
and i let you draw on me
you left purple marks on my skin
and red ink came out of my nose

oh darling,
at the end of the day you ran away
and i really thought you loved me

your voice my comfort zone
but i don't hear it in my head anymore
it's been a year without your presence
your absence finds me gloomy
not a day without you in my head

but today i woke up and realized
i forgot your voice
you are a distant memory

i'm so afraid to completely forget you

i'd do anything to hear your voice again
i still dream of this