There is such peace in nature.

The absence of filling time
with words, emotions and opinions.

Just. Being. Still.

When I close my mouth and open my heart
to her fierce stillness,
I find a part of myself
so grounded and complete.

Just. As. I. Am.

FOMO has been driving
this bus for too long now.

I think I’ll turn the keys over
to SLO-MO for a while
instead.

All I have is myself -

my one and only

til “death” do we part

Self.

I should probably start

treating me better.

Despite flaws and embarrassments and deep shame -

I’m all I’ve got.

Life is as short as it is long.

It’s time to be a champion for me;

my talents

my desires

my wishes

my dreams.

Because no one but me can live well in the present and no one but me can co-create my future.

And no one but me can forgive me for my past... ~erika anne

we are not alone.

we have the cackling call of the
wise old crow
and the warbling whistle of the
persistent loon,
to remind us of that....

we are not alone.
we have the magnificent trees,
our sisters,
limbs outstretched in a forever
welcoming hug
providing shelter and shade and
authentic beauty just because
they can,
to remind us of that....

we are not alone.

we have the near-unbreakable rocks
and stones pregnant with resiliency
and raw grit, bathed in
curious colors from the
spark of life;
pinks, mauves, apricots, greys
and deep brick reds,
to remind us of that....

we are not alone

we have the playful wind and sky
weaving her many moods and contradictions,
orchestrating the elements while
caressing our skin and kissing our hair
never abandoning and always constant,
to remind us of that....

we are not alone.

we have the vivid green grass
full of ***** and willpower,
fearlessly embracing its
bold freshness and
seasonal rebirth, chanting:
"live boldly in THIS season in
THIS hour in THIS moment
because the only constant is change!"
to remind us of that....

loneliness is not a place
but a perspective.
not a feeling
but a thought.
not a reality
but an illusion.

nature is our constant comrade
showing up every single day of our lives,
regardless of the weather -
to not only breathe life into us
but right along with us.

she is us and we are her,
as we destroy her, we destroy ourselves
as we show her reverence and respect,
we show reverence and respect to ourselves,
and our Creator.

so don’t be a ****.

happy earth day
2018

My truth is that I teeter atop a constant precipice of blazing boldness and utter fear.

I tip toe a fine line of longing to be unapologetically passionate, raw and subversive - and comfortingly cordial, gentle and "nice."

My favorite colors are witchcraft black and angel pink.

I unabashedly groove to both bass bottomed gangster rap and dreamy, trippy synth pop - equally.

I rise each day to blaze a trail of fiery transformation - holding my flag high in the sky for all to see and follow - and end each day wanting to hide in my rabbit hole reading about herbal remedies and making tinctures and potions that the world.

My favorite flower is the optimistic tulip, but I find strength in the weeping willow.

I sing fierce songs of freedom, injustice and equality out loud, while humming soft songs of sweetness and peace and love to myself.

I'm both Dorothy and the Great and Powerful Oz.

I long to scream wisdom from the rooftops, as long as I don't hurt anyone's feelings.

I relate to the women of both Girls and Golden Girls.

I want socialism but I don’t want anyone to tell me what to do.

I get a thrill by telling arrogant people off with a witty sarcastic remark, and then feel heavy remorse because I wish I hadn't created such a divide.

I am a warrior for women’s rights, but I’ve also been a mean girl and a recovering bulimic.

I want someone to love me completely while I love them utterly, but I don’t want to be engulfed by the heady perfume and fluorescent distraction of romance.

I admire both Charles Bukowski and Simone de Beauvoir as equals.

I don’t want to care what the hell you think of me, but I want you to love and worship me just the same.

I roll my eyes when older men date much younger women, but find myself attracted to much younger dudes than myself.

I bow to the bodies of “real women” while secretly dreaming of what it must be like to be a supermodel.

I want to be adored as much as I want to be respected.

I worship the Goddess on my knees but also find Jesus to be a true prophet of love, and kind of a babe.

I’m as silly as I am intense, and I’m as insane as I am sane.

My ultimate truth is that I'm a lover and a fighter,
a saint and a *****,
an angel and a demon,
a divine spirit and a hot mess.

I envelop each contradiction passionately, balancing them equally like a tightrope walker in the wind. Frustrated and wondering how the hell I got here, but also awestruck and loving the view.

You see, I have come to learn that the sign of a true rebel is the one who wears her heart on her sleeve - while giving zero *****, sowing compassion, taking no ****, mending fences and slaying dragons.

A rosy-cheeked woman has a Light Brite cradled in her lap.
I see a handsome young man with a missing arm.
On rolls a beautiful paraplegic.

The woman next to me has a real fur coat stuffed in her Nordstrom bag.
I loathe this woman immediately.
A skinny girl across from me has a McDonald's bag full of food.

Three young Asian girls sit together giggling
while the one in the middle takes a selfie -
then the others critique.

A lady standing in the front looks like a fat mouse.

Miss McDonald's is on her 2nd Happy Meal
and fur hag is writing a grocery list upon her knee.
Lots of rare flesh, I'm sure.

The beautiful paraplegic has the token plump lesbian girlfriend
complete with a trendy faux hawk.

I bought Daniel and myself vegan cupcakes for our 6 mos. today.
One is lavender with toasted coconut lime frosting.
I hope he likes it.

Oh, here's my stop.
Until tomorrow....

You were not meant to be anymore, dear friend
because of selfish human error.
I saw the precious life in you, Tyrell,
as did so many others who granted you
a stay of execution.
You were reborn into my life and
I am forever changed by your
angelic spirit.

Your "imperfections" were a delight to me,
your courage and tenacity inspired and endeared my soul.
Everyday I watched you thankfully enjoying
your much deserved second chance at life -
the one thing you were promised, just as I was,
in the contract of being born.
I miss you, sweet boy.

The ache of your absence runs deep,
and there isn't a day that goes by where
I don't smile and giggle at the thought of you.
Your unabashed gracelessness, your ability
to fiercely live in each moment, and your lovely tenderness.
Some dogs wanted to play ball, all you desired
was to be coddled and brushed.

Somewhere over the rainbow bridge,
I see you romping around in tall green grasses,
tongue flapping, eyes (now two!) sparkling with wonder,
while butterflies gleefully chase you in child-like play.
You shine so brightly, free of all the ties that bound you
as an unwanted canine in a world full of snakes.

You came into my life like a whirlwind, but
left too soon, like a whisper.
I am forever indebted to you for your
unconditional love, and for
showing me how deeply I'm capable
of loving another, that my heart isn't only
made of broken mirrors and lost opportunities.

You grew my heart full, and in doing so
you made me a better, more loving, and more
compassionate human being in a world gone mad.
I bow to your divinity, sweet Ty.
Dog is God.