"Stay here, I'll only be
30 seconds, a minute
maybe--
No, really, it's
okay, I'll be right
back and keep
petting you, then.
Look see, isn't this nice and
comfy, you're fine and can deal
with 30 seconds."

And he watches from the bed
my every move till over the threshold
I step, out of sight 0.01 seconds and
he springs with his hidden coils
up and off to
follow me to the kitchen where
I refill my coffee.

Every. ****. Time.

And don't I just love him for it.

I was in for a surprise of a lifetime Christmas 2014.
Well, actually, that's not entirely true.
It was actually supposed to be New Years Eve of 2014.
But my mom wasn't feeling well.
So I got the tickets on Christmas Morning for 1989.
And if you don't know what I mean.
Then read this and I will explain the whole thing.
I wanted to see Taylor Swift live.
I wanted to go to her 1989 World Tour this year.
Her 2015 1989 World Tour.
But I thought that my family wouldn't have enough.
You know, money for that.
So I convinced myself that I wasn't gonna get to go.
And for a while I  believed.
And then they told me on Christmas that I wouldn't.
They got me a camera instead.
Or, at least, that's what they said and I believed them.
I thought they couldn't trick me.
Well, as it turns out, they fooled me all this time.
Making me think I wasn't going.
When they had the tickets since November 11th!
I can't believe they got me.
I honestly believe that I wasn't gonna see her live.
But I was told to come out.
Because there was another present for me.
So I nodded and walked out.
I was in my room trying to work my new camera.
So I put it down and left.
I went to the living room and was told I had a CD.
And I needed to open a case.
I nodded and opened the case to find paper.
And it had 6 words.
You've bought 2 tickets. Thank you!
And I knew I was going.
I knew that they had gotten the tickets after all.
And then they told me.
They said I wasn't gonna get them till New Years.
They were gonna hide it!
Let me be depressed and sad for a whole week!
And then at midnight.
They were gonna give them to me as a surprise.
Because I wouldn't have....
I wouldn't have expected them after Christmas.
But I was still in shock.
I just said, "What?!" over and over again all day.
I still can't believe it!
Everyone knew she was going on tour before me!
Yia-Yia and PaPou K.
Which is Greek for Grandma and Grandpa.
Knew about the tour 1st.
You don't know how happy this makes me.
I have been a fan of hers.
A fan of Taylor Swift's since I was seven or eight.
When I heard her in 2007.
And then really got into her around 2009 or 2010.
I've been to 2 shows.
I've been to her Speak Now and Red World Tours.
Held at Gillette Stadium.
Which is in Foxborro, Massachusetts near Boston.
That's why my mom's going.
Not for the show, because she loves Boston lol
I don't mind, though.
I get to see Taylor Swift live for the 3rd time!
And that's amazing.
The rest of school vacation flew by after that.
I can't begin to tell you.
To tell you how happy and excited I am right now.
I mean, I can't wait!
I get to see her during her 1989 World Tour.
She's doing 2 shows there.
The 24th and 25th of July, in seven months.
I'm going to the 2nd one.
And I have a camera to film the whole show.
Just need more batteries.
Wanna make sure I don't miss a single thing.
Just wanted to say that.
Wanted to do a follow-up on my last thing.
Because I didn't know.
But now I could tell the rest of the story.
So now, to sum it up.
I'm gonna get to go see Taylor this year! :)

And for me, part of healing is being able to listen to certain music and not cry anymore.
It takes time
It takes time for the memories to not be as fresh
Because even the good ones hurt
It takes time to slowly put in those head phones and be able to breathe when a certain song shuffles on
It takes time to know that you can remain emotionally stable when you want to listen to a certain artist
It takes time to be rewire your brain, and say "this is okay" this music that once connected me to him, still does, just in a different way
And that's okay

You, it's all about you,
Why, it's your subjectivity,
Oh, the pause between sentences
You make me feel alive.

One day I’m going to see your stormy, blue eyes again and they will flash with recognition of my face and I will try telling myself that seeing you again is not fate.

i injected caster sugar into my veins and i’m still waiting for the high to hit. i drew a smiley face on the desk at school and they called me a delinquent and i think they overreacted a bit, and they said that dreamers never go anywhere in life, but i’m writing this on the moon.