I’m lost
Drifting
Wandering
My thoughts a mess
My body tired
I’m confused
I’m... I just don’t know...

tw self harm





I want a bottle on my lips
And a knife to my wrist
Numb the pain
Feel something
Intoxicated
Bleeding
Broken
Crying
Dying
...
..
.

tw self harm




I hear its sweet voice in my head
Making promises
Offering deals....
A little cut to calm the nerves?
That.. that sounds reasonable...
Its voice grows louder and louder
Tempting, coaxing

I don’t want it!
I’m not doing that anymore!
I won’t do it!
I try to protest

But there’s an ache in my heart
A restless, painful void
And while I know it’s not a solution
I do know it’ll release some pressure....
Make it a little easier...
maybe? maybe I’ll try... just a bit...

You’ve spent so long
Fighting with yourself
Feeling absolutely everything
And sometimes nothing at all

You can’t hide from that pain
You can’t run
But I used to believe
That it would never leave me

I’m not sure anymore
I think maybe
I can see a life free of it
But for now,
It’s right behind me
Waiting for me to trip

What the ****
What’s wrong with me
I’ve cried
I’ve screamed
Simmering.... boiling...
I can feel it
I’m about to explode

The more I talk to anyone else
The more certain I am
I really want to keep talking to you

tw suicidal thoughts



Something about these pills...
It just rubs me the wrong way...
Something eerie about them
Their quantities
Their psychoactive properties

I just don’t want them in my head
Or I want them all at once
High doses
Overdoses
Or none at all

And why
Why the ****
Do I get excited
A sick hit of adrenaline
Thinking about swallowing them all
And ending it now

What’s wrong with me
Nothing’s wrong
Everything’s wrong
I’m fine
I’m broken
I’m sick
I’m losing my **** mind

And somehow...
Somehow the pills keep me a little bit sane