You don't dare disturb me
When I drift off in your arms
You run your hand across my head
Smoothing out my frizzed hair
Such a sweet gesture
For a girl who is half-asleep
Partially in the hologram of slumber
Partially in the dream of reality

But in due time, time has past
The hourglass always runs out of sand
You rouse me from my daze
To drive me home in the midnight hour
I'm Cinderella missing a glass slipper
My horses have already turned back to mice
I have to leave again in a day's time

But as we drive back in the dark
You tell me that you love me
You adore my taste in music
The way I think and speak
My quirks and abnormalities, to you,
Are just like freckles on a cheek

You divulge me deeper in your fondness
You tell me I'm different from the rest
You confess your long high school crush on me
Your love of my head upon your chest

All along you cared for me
Before I cared for you
And as life seemed to fall apart
It reformed into something new
It was us all along
I know it now like you knew it then

You are the enrapturing, encapturing, sunset I wish I couldn't remember,
the warming, warning, spring rays I wish never freckled my shoulders,
the beaming, beating, summer heat I wish hadn't seeped red on my entirety.

You are the shunning, stunning, sunrise I wish I couldn't see,
the scarred, sacred, autumn sun I wish didn't make me stronger,
the blight, light, winter sun I wish stayed hidden behind grey clouds.

My dear, you are the most bewitching chapter of my life,
the tear-soaked pillows and the bar-coded mascara face:
another heartbreak ready for the card-catalog among masses.

I don't know how much more I can take
You complaining of your body's pain and its aches
You are in agony every day, you say
But you still do nothing, no nothing will change

I can't be your mother
I'm only your lover
The one who is there
When you don't have another

But you're killing me
With the pain you won't resolve
You said you've tried
But I still say go on

Go search for a doctor
Go on till you find
The medicine that will help you
It is worth the time

I can't be your pills
I can't help your pain
I can't make you change
You'll still stay the same

You'll only change
If you want to be
Another version of yourself
Then you'll be free

I can't take this much longer
Screaming when it is no use
Its not my body
It's yours, so you choose

But know I can't cope
With seeing you stagnant
So change or don't
But don't complain about it

I am no toymaker, I know this,
yet one day I found a small toy car
left on my doorstep with a simple note:
"Try and fix me."
I'm no toymaker, but I tried anyway.
I saw there was a wheel broken,
a door off its hinges, and an engine
that needed replacing. I am no toymaker,
but I tried my best to find these parts,
but I stopped before I switched them out
because I realized I was changing it.
I am no toymaker, but I know you shouldn't
change people; that only they can change themsleves,
and that's what I feared.
How am I to fix something, if it won't change?
I am no toymaker, so maybe I'm missing something,
but if I can not change out this broken wheel,
place new hinges on that door, or a new
engine to make it pur, how can I fix it?
I am no toymaker, I know this,
but I still battled rivers and mountains alone,
talked with Atlas to give up the Earth,
but Atlas wouldn't listen and I told myself
it was because I was trying to change him
like a little toy car I once tried to fix.
I am no toymaker, but don't say I didn't try.

Don't tell me he's a bad boy,
Because I already know.
Don't tell me he'll hurt me,
Because I already know.
But how could you,
You of all people,
Know how this feels?
To know he's a tool,
But loving when he smiles at you;
To hear him ask about how you are
And knowing you're not his only one;
To ache for him to whisper your name
With the idea he'll break your heart?
I know these things
As clearly as I know the sun raise,
But all notion and reason escape
When he meets my eyes…

It started on a goodbye
and it ended not on a bang
or a boom
or a high.
Just a sigh,
to fill a space where there were no words left to speak.

I know you are willing
Willing to give me your world
To hand over something profound

I know you would follow me
Wherever I chose to go
If only I chose to let you

If you follow, I'll resent you
If you stay, I'll miss you
But if we were not, I can't say what

In your eyes, I am me
And in mine, I am too
However, your gift gives too much

I'm afraid of taking more than I should
Even though you claim I own it all
I stuck my claim and you won't say no

Don't credit me for more than I'm worth
Don't mistake me for something I'm not
Don't ask me to change the unchangeable

If the world keeps turning longer than our souls keep burning
Perhaps we can't change the tides
With something that can't even change our minds

Please, fingers that point, blame, and condemn
Never point at me
Because my frame spontaneously collapses
Under your harsh realities

Some call it drama, or gossip, or back talk
That invades and clouds our logic
But as many names as there can be
I still just hate the conflict

It's like a virus that sneaks in
From ***** looks and false faces
Until it is suffocating us from the inside out
It seeps in to tight-knit places

I avoid you, conflict, at all costs
I avoid you like the plague
I avoid your lies and suffering
Until you grab me by the leg

You shake me to the very core
Which is why none at all is too much
But the reason I hate you most of all
Is because of you, I tear myself up