I wish I wasn't so doG danm dyslexic

What if I went out every night
& kept my phone on silent
so that every time you called
it would keep ringing & ringing
until my annoying voicemail
flooded your ears over & over
about three dozen times or more

Call again

What if I said I had too much going on
& that my grandparents or father
needed my assistance for something
far more important than wasting
any of my time on you or your family
even though plans were nonexistent

Try again

What if I was late to school almost
two times a week because I knew
I could get away with sneaking to
her house while you woke your
mom up so that she could take you
to school because I was "oversleeping"

Late again

What if I held your hand everyday
down the hallways of this hell hole
& kissed you goodbye before each
& every bell, but found my seat
next to her in the back of the room
where no one would suspect a thing

Goodbye again

What if you started to notice that
I was slowly starting to fade away
& thought I was talking with her
& I yelled at you for accusing me
& thinking I was untrustworthy
& maybe I forgot the real truth myself

Yell again

What if I got caught in her bed
one early morning by her father
& he called & told my mother
& she threatened to kick me out
if I didn't tell you so I lied again
& promised that I had told you,
but I wasn't telling you anything

Lie again

What if someone else told you
& I ran out of lies to tell you,
but I still continued with my streak
& tried lying my way out of losing you,
but you were done with my *******

Done again

What if she wasn't my only lover on the side
What if I had lost count of all of them
What if I promised to change
What if

*You can't

I do not understand how
you got your master's degree

Born a self hatin' little girl
with a soul so pure
Beautiful & smart--
so young, yet mature
Talented with words,
but the world doesn't see
That this is the only way
that I know how to be me
Broken & beaten by this
world that I despise
I've learned to block it all out,
I no longer open my eyes
They've been permanently shut,
so now I live through what I feel
I'll be great one day,
that's what I tell myself
I'll be great one day
without any of their help
I'll be great one day
& then they'll see
I'll be great one day--
& good enough for me

So remember me through the dirt & the weather,
I'll always be just a little bit better
than that other girl that you call your own
You promised me more & then left me alone
Now don't get me wrong, I still love you,
but that don't mean that I want to
So I'll move on, it's the thing to do
You moved on, but that's not new

You're just a ******, you always will be
Get what you want, but not from me

Cause that's the past & this is the now
I'm done fooling around, I'm done falling down
You threw away perfection,
but frankly I don't mind
Cause that's just your opinion,
& I won't be your second option

Speaking of perfect, let me tell you about my best friend
Even when she wakes up, she's radiant like the sun
Rarely knows what is best for her because
Really all she cares about is everyone else
A great trait in a person, but very tricky to overcome

Kindness is what is very important to her,
Always say "excuse me" and "please"
I love her like a sister & wish that she were
To be honest, I couldn't ask for a better one
Ladies be jealous of our awesome friendship
You probably heard about her in a story or two
Not a big deal, she's probably in every story of mine

Don't leave her side, I won't until my dying day
Even when we're old & wrinkly, she's my best friend
Quick to her feet when you need a hand or talk
Usually ready to lend a hand & never judge
Intelligent in basically every aspect of life
No one I'd rather turn to when in doubt
Zoo's probably aren't the best birthday present,
I promise that she'll have a better birthday with me
Oh, how I can't wait for more memories with Serra