Sweet whispers, unlock me
Set free my dark misery
   Sweep paths full of mystery
For truth is a devil.*

It's not a rush you feel, it's fear
A darkness prevailing, soon to be near
This kind of madness, will claim you for years
And all I can say is, "Take cover, my dear"

It's not unknown, you've heard the calling
A seductive moaning befalling
Begging for directions, pleading
That you take place leading

A soft greeting so fleeting
That you've been intrigued
But I sense that this meeting
Will leave you fatigued

And the kind of horrors you shall view
Shall leave you believing
Red has only one hue
That of life leaving

And those villains knew
They've become you

In the light I've been dreaming
of angels born screaming
to taste
of the darkness of night.

In the dark I've been bitten
by demons still hidden
to wait
for the brightest of days

And angels hold brilliance
And the demons': poor ignorance
and those demons want back to the light

But there's never
a path in sight

And the only illumination to come
is a terrifying thing

Because the Son
Shall strike down their king.

Coo,
silent dove resting
Your babies been crying
Though lying in the fox's jaws,
Coo

The rattling door as the wind whistles
the calls of the crows amongst the fields
shuffling feet that stirs the dirt
you can't imagine the power it yields

The grunts, the sighs from every mouth
the clicks, the clacks on the keyboard
the whine of a lonely pup
I've never heard that kind of cord

When the music dips and climbs
and we feel the pounding bass
as it stalls before the drop
then, we're locked
in a quiet place

Then waves in the air
and the quivering ground
are drowned to death
by shrieking sounds

But what you hear
comes nowhere near
to the Song of Thumps
that guides my world

So don't pretend you
feel the pounding floor
the way that I do

Sometimes to survive you need to be painstakingly emotionless
You need to bite your lip to hold the screams
Block it out
just Breathe

But beware the stories.


There's a mother who at 33 became a drunkard
and she had 3 lovers
and she loved none.
And Dad stopped loving
because it hurt too much to love
even his own son.
And the neighbour had to tell Tommy
he wasn't a brother anymore.
And that family
broke
at the core
           -wailing

And this kind of failing
the kind where each who lost
added to the cost
only to push themselves further under: it makes me wonder
How long can I deceive myself?
to pretend that it's all good
Told my mind
Just breathe it out.
and We'll be as We Should

There's a brother
I've been told
Who sold his body for less than gold
and he is RIDICULED
His Father Beats Him
and his darkness deepens
But his 12 year old sister hallucinates:
redemption as his fate
But his story held a choice
it was Him or Her
and his voice pleaded
that he should be the one
so she might have freedom
and they agreed
Now at night, while she's Dreaming
he's Screaming

That boy said to me
that he holds a dream
of a sister still clean
which means to him
That he's worth something still
and the nights can be bared
as long as she never knows
his type of scared
And this has me bawling
and clawing for air.
And my lungs fight for life
just to get there.

There's a father
with a wishful life
with cheerful children
and a gentle wife
And he's a Grandma's Boy
well, that's all he had left
and at her death
he's pitiful, on the ground
gasping for breath
Now he lives in FEAR
of the loneliness returning
that devoured him as a little boy
for years
So now he's running, so afraid of what's coming
that the path back is lost
and he never
recognizes
the cost

and I feel tears when I watch him chatter with his family
because it's always a bonding moment of one on one
but if you look around, there's absolutely none
And I've started to feel lonely
when it's only me
but I remind myself: you can't go down that road
and you won't
if you can just Breathe.

There's a sister
with a child born out of wedlock
and she's felt fury
from her loved ones
Because of this Situation
Even Though
she resisted *******
And she just wants to find some love
so she protects that baby with everything that counts
and every ounce of resistance she has left
And She Will Keep Every Cry Inside
until that child arrives
and starts screeching
and she's shrieking
until that baby's tired eyes fall asleep
and she can enter her own weary zone
but she goes to deep

I'm having trouble processing
this story ending
because I've heard that beginnings are a beautiful thing
but this child won't even have
a mother to sing
to her at night
so How is she supposed to stop screaming?
and with this knowledge
How am I supposed to find meaning?

And I know

I know

I know there's good


And I know that pain can't win
so long as we hold it in

Breathe in
and out
and in
out
in
out

But Sometimes


I can't Breathe.

and that's when I bellow
right before the never-ending screams

the thump thump from the pump
has a ****** gurgle
that gushes and glides through a closed system

but with the touch of air
screams pierce deep inside the hollow drums
and the thrum of feet flailing
has introduced a maniacal laugh so crass
it drowns the wails
and the pump stops
at the same resounding moment when the clock goes

tick tock

tick


gone


and all that's left is a silent stream
and the loudest drip

drop

drip

you've ever seen

What are you feeling?
Are you stumbling back again?
What are you dreaming?
Have the nightmares worn the barriers thin?

Are you still trying?
Have they been lying to you?
Are you breaking so hard it feels like you're dying,
staying up all night, every night crying?

Stop.
They hear you - want to help you break through.
So long since you were encouraged
and you no longer feel worthless.
These tunnels that were caving were just them penetrating.
Pulling you out of the night
and into the light
giving you sight.

What are you seeing?
How can their tongues hold so much power?
Just can't let go; they made you whole.
You're caught in their blood-stained ropes.

One more sleep without the covers
they started out sweet
but turned to monsters.
You're open, exposed
but still they hovered.

Entered your dreams, forced you awake.
And with nowhere to hide, pain so clear on your face,
they caught it all on tape.

They see your tears,
were just trying to help you overcome your fears.
Giving you a courage
so you could stop being worthless.
The tunnels that were caving
were just them penetrating.
Bringing you out of the night
into the light
giving you sight.

What are you fearing?
Don't you have friends to help you now?
Why have your screams opened the doors to your doubts?

You're seeing before
that which was hidden
and confusion's masked your vision.
Is that a smile? or the icing?
To the push that sends you colliding.

Stop, they saved you!
Only to play you.
Farther into the lava flow, they're not letting go.
They'll never let go.

*

Girl, you'll make it.
Boy, you're breaking out of their hold
there's nothing but gold left for you.

Now you're climbing so high
that you're flying
up to the sky shining
lighting up the night.

Below they're screaming,
demanding a redo
to stop you from pulling through
But. They. Can't. Touch. You.

From above, you see the darkness
a hand reaching for the surface.
And as you dive, what's clouding your mind is:
Will I make it in time?

Desperately stretching, trying to give everything.
But he's letting go
losing hope
No longer willing to play
all of their games.

You hear yourself say:

What are you feeling?
Are you stumbling back again?
What are you dreaming?
Have the nightmares worn your barriers thin?

Still, keep on trying.
I know they've been lying to you.
You're not really dying.
Stop all your cries
that shatter the night

I'm here for you.