Its not who you've been with,
Its who you're able to be with.
Don't let your past impact your future,
You are better than you think.
Gain confidence and self esteem and look to a happier future,
You will find someone who cares for you like no one else ever will.
Just wait, don't rush into anything,
Time will heal all wounds.

*Even a broken heart. Just be confident. Know you can do better and you will.

Not all monsters have bodies
no,
some monsters are whispers in the middle of the night
the whispers which never stop
they come rising up from the pit of your stomach
the back of your neck
and the lungs in your chest
these monstrous whispers
creeping in from open window
on full moon nights
they say the things
which we know aren’t right
but we believe anyway
these voices
they say things
like you are not good enough
just give up
know when enough is enough
they laugh in moments of silence
come creeping in with self-doubt
not a whimper
not a shout
just a sense of stillness when the lights go out
keeping you up at night on the edge of a knife
too exhausted
to keep up the fight
you worry
how long will these monsters have their foothold
in the panicked pounding of my eardrums?
these monsters which spit on self-love
and lick their gums at the sight
of a broken down frown
of a person wound too tight
but these monsters don’t have bodies
arms legs claws and fangs
these monsters are just voices
all you have to do is drown them out

It’s moments like these—
When your eyes connect with mine,
And I can’t help but fawn over their beauty.

Moments when your fingerprints leave
Invisible marks on my skin.
Branding me
Promises of forever,
A mere dream unspoken on your tender lips

Your kisses stealing
The end of my sentences
Murdering me soundlessly with every
Drawl of my name
And lingering glance

It’s moments like these,
When I thought it weren’t possible
Or not possible enough
That I’ve fallen even more in love
With your presence or
Your every word

Moments like these when I cannot control
The utter and irrefutable
Desire

The craving to be near you
To hold you
And just feel your existence

Moments that remain imprinted in my mind

we're perpendicular lines
stuck at the intersection
destined to go different ways,
being pulled apart by everything and everyone,
but somehow staying at 0,0

A cinder block resides where my brain used to function
It seems as though my thoughts have shrunken
It weighs me down and forces out tears that i try to restrain,
But my brain is concrete and my eyelids are feathers,
Far too weak to hold anything back
Pushing, pushing, pushing
Exerting all the pressure it can
I silently let the streams run free,
Hoping no one notices

Expression of emotion should never be oppressed
Trust me i know how to yell, you taught me very well,
But this is merely speaking
Hear me when I say I want to cry until we’re floating in the Dead Sea
And my heart no longer curses me with the density to sink
Im trying to escape this catastrophe,
But you coerce until my original thoughts become extinct
Hear me when i say i want to shriek until my reflection shatters
And my soul can equally and oppositely be repaired
Someday i hope my insides can scream as loud as they desire
When ill no longer live under your pharisaical empire
You want me to follow the road you paved for me,
Never falling astray,
but I guess you forget that respect goes both ways
Trust me i know how to yell, you taught me very well
But this is nowhere near
Expression of emotion should never be oppressed.

I’m sorry I haven’t been there to catch you lately
It seems I have been preoccupied
With being preoccupied
I know its no excuse, but I’m back for a while
                                                    Hopeful­ly this time for good
The last time you wrote you said you felt like you were on trial
Always being judged by your inner demons
                                                     My advice
Free them
I know it sounds strange to hear this from you
But the trial is done
You’ve judged and been judged
So its time to move on
                                                       Remember, mistakes are momentary
If you hold onto them forever
Then you’re just reliving them
Hopefully you can find this helpful
                                                    ­   I would hate to see you return to being dreadful
Promise me you will write back
I’m hear to listen now and won’t be leaving
So try to be happy with yourself
                                                   ­    I hope you found this to be self-revealing

this feeling is familiar
though I felt it long ago
not much is different
except
your name
your face
yes, your walk
are not the same

the you here has changed
but this sinking feeling
well this it seems
has remained

and so the words pour
they flow and rush
and find themselves here
never making it to my lips
never making it to your ears
trapped on a page that
you'll never read

oh how you never read

Three a.m.,
Friday morning,
Haunting, wake in bed.
Just like always,
Who could possibly satisfy the yearning,
when oranges and coffees are bad?

Sweaty fingers,
Burning toes,
Covers hide me, from their pointless lows,
My laughing while crying, moaning,
Yes, I do quite enjoy,
Misery-filled could, would shoulds.

Open one eye,
Too hard,
Close again,
Don’t move,
Not an inch,
Not surely or slowly,
No one shall me remove,
When they whisper words into your head,
Who knew, rock bottom, would be so exciting, tranquil and new?

Their footsteps gave up,
Knocking no more,
Pulling no more,
Begging no more,
For I broke their view of beauty,
When my moods were indeed moody.

Hello?
Now loud, unrestrained and clear.
Slow start, swift prance no more
Johnny’s holding me, forever and always,
Protecting me from,
All you *******, culpable cowards.