I find myself sitting on the kitchen floor for the last time, just as the setting sun peaks it's rays through the window adjacent to the stove.
Pouring light cascades the room in warm hues of yellow and orange equally shadows are cast on crevices that are plainly seen in the light of day
The open curtains hanging on the balcony door grant me the ability to take in the nostalgia of a scene beyond the glass.
It is a constant begging force that has convinced me to seek out a journey beyond the shell of this metaphor I call home.
For outside that door I found my sanity
timeless memories lost in clouds of smoke and scraps of love lifted from candlelit conversation
through the temperament of a Hoosier summer I gained company and solitude.
I found courage and adversity
Out here on this porch I celebrated a turning point in history
I spent many a nights patching my heart with ruffles of herb and the condolences of cicadas
The railing became my back bone
I was on par with the trees
If you listen to their leaves you will hear my secrets
Then just as brief the passing cars will whisk them away
Nearing sunset I set foot into the realm of my sorrows
an extension of myself imprinted a sense of gratitude on my soul
A bittersweet silence haunts the air around me
As hues of purple and blue grow in the clouds beyond the skyline
Fireflies paint the night below with petite shimmers of hope and sparks of foreshadowing
The sheer essence of my aloof comfort and the mirroring image of my youth calls out for me in the fading light of the last sunset I share with the closest thing to home I've ever owned
I can feel the wind whispering goodbye on my cheek and the street lamps flicker on as the traffic ceases to exist around me
for a moment my world is frozen
All is calm
All is well
All is bliss
And as the pages of this chapter gradually close, I begin my journey again.

I'm a fool for you darling.
I dream of your lips in waking.
I love all that is you.
Your essence resonates through the distance.
It keeps me company.
It keeps me warm.

Like a bolt cascading from the sky, my heart blazes a path.
The mess of it all parts way and the butterflies are released into the clouds.
Cotton candy puffs of green.
No fairy dust in the world could compare to how I feel when mind lingers in the thought of you.
To not know your smell or touch makes it simple.
Easy for me to pretend.
To pretend for just one moment, that I could be happy.
I have skeletons that rattle my ribcage, reminding me that this bliss is temporary.
A melancholy notion in disguise.
That part of me will always remain, even through the brightest moments.
I take in breaths each day hoping that my heart will find its way through the nimbus, despite the fact that I know that what we have is scattered in the frigid depths of limbo.
A not so secret cellar in my brain.
Tucked away behind transparently frosted walls.
The processing unit is beginning to fail.
That world is caving in.
It's lost its luster.
And like a grain of sand it anticipates the waves washing it away.
A piece of me belongs to you.
It's fate falls on you.
Will you be the rain that mixes the sand?
...or the wave that carries it away?

That night you told me we were the same kind of crazy.

I take a peek at you through my Wells goggles. I've had a sip too much of my grapefruit ***** and we are the only two people in the bar.

I'm light as a feather and with gin nipping at our noses, we let Jack Frost drive the car that night.

That's the thing though, sober or not it's all the same game. The wells is just gasoline to ignite our volatile roulette.

Drink number two still as pink but this time I'm ******* faster. I'm trying to imagine that the lime at the bottom taste like your lips and I am inching towards your soul.

That night you told me we were the same kind of crazy.

Chemical malfunctions in our past, led us to that moment. Infinite understanding of misunderstanding.

I'm light as a feather and I let you drive home, but I never asked if I could stay.

I cannot do simple math to save myself from blushing. As people start trickling in I count my breath and catch the eye of a familiar stranger.

He was wearing the most arousing scarf.

I wish that was your scarf.

With Jack Frost waiting in the car and grapefruit in my veins I count the steps synchronising the strides with my heartbeat.

**** it's cold. Please let me hold your hand.

Pack the bowl, pack the ****, pack the one-y

Isn't it funny that rhymes with honey.

Glossy eyes and records. Your White as fresh snow sheets.

I digress.

Why do you always make me leave?

I could just lie with you, I'd just like to listen to you.

We talk, but vaguely. I wish you'd open up to me.

I'm sorry.

Comfort keeps us swollen, but what we have is frail.

Maybe I don't love you, but I don't feel cold to you either.

Give me something to think about when you aren't around.

You're my friend.

Platonic, no depth, just silence.

My vocal absence attempts to create space for your stories.

What are you about? How did you get here? What happened to make you untrusting of my company?

These are these things you think I cannot see.

Somewhere in our cloud of smoke is the door to your heart.

I don't want it to be mine, I just want it to tell me stories.

The words made of pixels sent from palm to palm never felt so sweet.

Longing for the touch of another's presence reminiscing the night air.

Let me skip Moon rocks on the stars outside my window to let you know I'm here.

Let me paint you a picture with every Shooting star.

Minutes and miles that's all they are.

Obstacles and static interference.

I wish that maybe you weren’t so afraid.

Those were the only words I could conjure from my mouth last night, when I should have been pleading for you to take my hand.

I am not talking cheesy wedding bells and frilly dress nonsense.

Just take my **** hand and let me show you why I love you.

There are no strings attached with me, and don’t you dare tell me that you that you cannot see how loyal I am to you. I should have pleaded my case right then and there, but I am now, and I want you to listen to me.

Writing a love poem is hard now a days. It seems like everything has been said and done in almost every conceivable way.

I don’t want to spell you hand-me-down words.

I want to spoon feed you the lust from my soul as if it were a book that had never been written. Let the words I write for you spread across the decades for all to serenade a doll like you.

I want you to cherish our romance.

I see you for what you are and I see that there is potential for me to hopelessly fall. I may be a tad bit reckless with the way that I toss about my words for you like a lust struck conundrum, but try to see me for what I am.

My hands are reaching for your heart.

Let me in.

I’ve been knocking on that door of yours for days now, and I just want to know if I’m going to get my fair shake at this. I cannot sit here and blab my trap about how or why I’m so different, but I know you can see it in my eyes. I will lose the rest of my hope in this world, if I do not get my fair shake at this.

Take my hand please. I’ll gladly get down on my knees and explain to you why graveling doesn’t suit me, but at this point, I’ll do anything to make this a reality.

I want to show you that chivalry isn’t dead, and that I would do just about anything to be able buy you a 15 cent Coke and take you to the drive in movie in my thunderbird.

This is the heat of summer, this is it.

I’m here.

So spare yourself the conscious scrutiny of my demise, and give me a chance.

You won’t be sorry.

Someone told me once, that one day I'd fall for someone on a whim.

That someday some person would just walk into the room and I'd just know that they were right for me, and that I would be able to almost feel this click in the air around us.

Nothing else would matter because in that single moment I would have found a person so enthralling enough to not only capture my attention, but awaken my soul.

I cannot remover you from my system. I am struggling to let go of the urge to be in your presence again.

My fragile heart finally found something it can hold on to.

You make me feel like me, a real person for once.

When I'm around you, I don't have to worry about hiding parts of me.

I do believe that never truly knew myself until that night and If I had before, then that was the night that I rediscovered my ambition love, lust, and life.

You make me feel like a man...or as much of a man as I can be.

The way you grasped my body, felt right for once. For once in my life I felt like a whole person. For once I was more than content with sharing myself with someone else.

Something so simple, yet something I thought I'd never feel.

I do regret letting you see how astonished I was. I knew you could see it in my eyes.

And I knew, that to tell you the truth would have been something you did not want to hear.

I am intense and I feel things other couldn't even fathom.

...but the point is,

You are the one thing I will never forget and the one thing I will never regret.

The moment our eyes met, my life changed for good.

There is no backtracking, no heavy fretting.

Just living Life to the fullest, in hopes that the rest of it includes you.

You, my dear, are my new favourite puzzle. Here's hoping my heart is the key.

Let me into your soul.

Let me into your mind.

Let me into your life.

You have awoken something in me, and I can promise it won't be keeping quiet forever.

This is me reaching out to you.

Take my hand and let's embark on this journey together.