We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

You were with a girl.
I'm not sure if she's just a friend.
Maybe she's more than that.
Maybe her smiles touch your soul gentler.
Maybe her voice soothes the storms in your head.
Maybe her kisses make you feel safe.
I'm not sure.
I don't want to be sure.

You were with a girl.
Maybe this time, I'll stop checking my phone for messages that'll never come.
Maybe I'll stop counting the days since we last talked.
Maybe I won't think of you anymore.
I'm not sure.
But *******, I wanna be.

There's a little boy
Drawing in his room
Momma comes and sees
A vibrant ocean blue

He says mom would you like to know
Why this painting is my life
And why this image in my head
Haunts me every night?

When you look at the ocean
You only take the time to see
What's on the surface
You don't know what lurks beneath

You see blue skies and birds
Hugging the salty water
You don't see the shark below
Devouring someone's daughter

And over in that corner
A ship has sunken down
It took a family with it
All the children drowned

But over on that beach
So many people play
They won't acknowledge the danger
For that would ruin their day

I feel much like the ocean
People only come when all is calm
But when everything is upside down
Suddenly they're gone.

Doctors post videos of me laughing
And photos full of smiles
But when I need the cure
There's silence stretched for miles.

They say I am a warrior
They call me brave and strong
But for this I've had no training
They've never been more wrong.

-ARI