You're  obviously pretty special
I sleep with you every night
All the years I've known you,
We've never gotten in a fight

We spend so much time together,
Like a couple young in love,
But all I seek is rest
From everything I'm tired of

I go to you in need of slight slumber
Or possibly hours of higher number

You're there when I'm mad,
Sad,
Happy,
And even feeling ******

Thanks for being what nobody else could be
And get this in your head;
You mean a lot to me
I'm also talking about my bed

Hope is a balloon
Inflated with love
It rises up above

It is strong for a few short hours
Then loses what is has
Never to be as good as
It was before

Hope is something that kids let go
Adults seek
And elders hold on to
Just like a balloon

Petals fall off
One by one
He loves me
He loves me not

Seasons change
But he doesn’t
He loves me
He loves me not

He says he’s learned
From his mistakes
He loves me
He loves me not

His actions
Do not represent his words
He is no better
Than he was before

Two petals remain
He loves me
He loves me not
The sad realization

I still haven’t talked about how it made me feel
clearly I was upset
the tears streaming down my face
and blood seeping out of the slits in my wrist
could tell you that
my mom could tell you that
considering I stayed in bed for a whole week

when the tears stopped
that’s when I didn’t know how to feel
why was I no longer upset
why was I no longer feeling FEELINGS
am I a ******* robot

my best friend killed herself
and a few weeks later
I was drowning the thought of it

cheap liquor nightly
stench of skunk daily
not a chance to sober up
and face the reality

I was so mad
mad at “God”
or whatever that **** is
mad that I couldn’t be there for her
like she was for me
mad that I couldn’t talk to her again if I tried

have you ever
sat in front of a grave
and shared your deepest secrets
it’s some sort of desperation
and hope at the same time

I pray you never have to
experience such a thing
such a numbing tragedy
that takes you away from yourself

what is *** to you
of such intimate nature
yet superficial