It's warm as I settle in.
My heart picks up speed,
We race in the thrusting motions,
Then calmly settle when I am in between you.

'If only' rules my life.
If I would only be more responsible...
If only I would be more daring...

If only...
If only...
If only...
If only...
If only!

If only I'd rid myself of these and just venture onward!
If only...
I would not be stagnant!

*If only!

I am lost again.

Truly!

I have been here before,
Therefore I must be going in a circle!

Then I said, "Go forth!"
Only to stay.

Once more I say, "Go forth!"
Again, only to stay.

Fear.
It keeps me stagnant.
There is no growth,
Much less development.

My voice presents me as a pacifist,
But my heart is a fury!

I am but one of many lost,
In need of saving,
One who requires guidance, instructions, indications...
Perhaps a sort of map if you will.

The Stars point me to the North,
But my dazed and confused heart says, "Stay right where you are"
And a voice within that seems to say, "For you are not lost, but only walking blindly."

clouds unwind
bring winter
in their white breath
dissolve and murmur
to the sea-sombre skies
of the scurry of wind
and wave
of the tumultuous
ache of the night
its oceans
its impenetrable
depths
its shore-slumbering
lights, in the thick
folding of winter
mist
the wonderment
of cloud.

Today is
The day
Renewal.
Today is
The day
Better
Than usual,
Today is
The hour
I help
Another being.
Today I'm
The tower
Of beautiful
Things.

grace on a birch branch
a pair of silky redbreasts
among red buds of spring
no worry about tomorrow
for God feeds them today
and clothes them as kings