Taken to soon
Stolen from this world
Devastating tears fall
For the loss
Brought into this world
To be taken away
Not knowing the answers
Why?
No one shall ever know
Why?
You were taken away to soon
You'll never be forgotten
Uncertainty
As to where you go
Are you standing with me now
Will you be looking over me tomorrow?
Do you see I need you?
I have to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you all my secrets
Tell you what is missing without you
No one tells you it doesn't get easier
No one tells you the pain never fades
Please come back and haunt me
Something to show me you are still there
You were taken to soon

You would figure
such a moment would be burned
into the paradigm of memory
when exactly did I learn
life was no cartoon?
well, it wasn’t one traumatic incident
rather a rushing current of events
a drunk uncle here, a screaming mom there
a belting boyfriend or toy-stealing sister
playmates picked dead last no matter
older boys bullying the younger
teachers who didn’t particularly bother
some cousins had yards and fathers
while others like me had neither
always more chores than fun
and no one ever explained how come
priests were less present and less kind
than the mexican street venders
there’s no specific scene to pause when I rewind
I honestly can’t remember.

It wasn’t at a funeral, by then
though I was young , I somehow knew
life was not all beautiful and true
that those adults who told me what to do
sobbed on dark beds and screamed at phones
then wiped their tears or ****** walls
before reentering the room
their eyes a little more like stone
while I pretended to un-see it all
and kept on playing with my toys, alone.

And I still don't know how to start this.

Do you remember the first time we met? Your eyes couldn't stop staring at mine, wondering why the hell did I try so hard to get to know you. I kept talking until you told me that listening to my thoughts was the best thing you've experienced since that day your mom decided to left your father. I smiled and we kept ourselves that way for months.

Do you still remember our first real fight? You cursed at me so much that I swore hell is nothing but an empty space in a mad man's mouth. I cried too hard to even let a single air got into my lungs and I ended up laying unconscious on the floor. You held me tightly until the pain seems so unreal to believe in.

Now, do you still remember the first day you left? You told me you didn't want to and you kept on saying you love me, you love me, you loved me, and I couldn't cry anymore because my heart was already broken and I just nodded and kissed you. We kissed for more than every minute we'd spent and I swear I would erase that moment if I knew how you still would end up leaving me.

And I still don't know if this pain would end. I'm remain clueless and ailing and God you're not here to ease me anymore and I need to start realizing that you were always the cause of my pain.

Can't you tell?
I'm nothing more than a broken girl
I've got layers
Walls and cages to protect me
But when you look too closely
Past all the lies and deceit
It's blood and pain
A little girl huddled in shame
How can you miss it?
Be so blind?
I'm tired of lying, hiding it inside
Yet still I fool you
Don't even bat an eye
I'm not the master of mystery you paint me as
Why can't you see the truth?
I don't know how this happens
Me breaking without a sound
No one cares to notice
They let me hit the ground
If only you looked more closely
Into my eyes you'd see
Today I may be smiling
But broken I'll always be

Relax now
Go to sleep
Daddy's here now
Go to sleep
\Don't you weep now
'for you wake
Say your prayers
For heavens' sake
\And before you
Go to school
Brush your teeth
And move your stool
\Wash your face
And dry your hands
Smile
And give mom a hand