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 Mar 2015 My name is a lie
Elijah
I’m a lone wolf
howling in the woods
drawn into darkness
blinded by mere mysteries
I am that I am
because you are of what you made me
you’ve dispersed me into wilderness
you’ve made my soul as hollow
as a ill-treated tree of life
you are my weakness
you are joy
you are a demon implanted in me
I’m somewhere between psychotic and ironic
misunderstood by defiants ...
sometimes I don’t relate to my thoughts, my skin, my walk, and smile
sometimes I don’t know freedom;
is it reluctant obedience towards a fiend or constant countless breaths of a new life?
I’m not death
for I live in the presence of life
you were almost the death of me
but my artistry became the saviour -
the saviour of my soul, my mind, my heart
I’m a lone wolf
howling in the woods
where darkness was drawn to light.
Confrontation between my mental illness and I, in my darkest room.
“I’m not giving up my art without a fight.”

#broken #darkness #death #depression #heart #life #sadness #soul #thoughts #wilderness
The bed is only half empty,
it is not half full.
as i clutch the wrinkled bed sheets
beneath my tiny balled up fists.
Black mascara staining my tears
that run down cold cheeks,
cold from not having been touched by your lips
cold from waking up
only to find you gone.
This was written a while back, but I hardly had any minor changes. It's funny how nothing really ever happens and your imagination becomes so delusional that we're able to transfer it onto paper where as it becomes amazing works of art!
You ask me to believe in you,
To trust you,
To love you,
But how can I do those things
When you are a mere chat window
On my laptop,
And the only way I can see you
Is through a small video clip
On a blurred phone screen?

You and your empty words.
Sometimes I wish
You would just leave me alone
So I can rejoin reality.
The dog buried it in the garden, in one of
Its many holes, it was a dog of course
Just not the normal dog,
No skin,
No fluff,
No idea?
Where it buried this which I needed,
Which I owned,
It was like a mole had been playing whacker
And dug up
50 mounds,
50 holes,
50 buried
But which was that which I needed to hold,
My hands waved too and froe,
I would talk but my anger  muffled
Not expressing my contempt but with a finger
Waving as my hands in a naughty silent
Window wiper motion,
"Bad dog"
"Bad boy"
"Bad reception"
A voice unheard,
"OK"
Right now I have a worm playing
Hide go seek in my cavity's, it tickles
My sockets, curls up in my nose,
Sticks you know what daddy will do,
And the last time this happened,
What did daddy do??
Legs in the bathroom,
Ribs keeping open the kitchen door,
And your skull was left outside in the cold,
"With a grumble"
"With a growl"
"With relief"
I saw the light,* and my body walked over,
My bony fingers rummaging around
Left a little,
Right a little,
Are you blind
And with that like a touch down,
My skull was finally found,
I rubbed the mud off
I took the worm from my nose,
I sat him on my rib, he had found a new home.
"Now boy"
"I know you like to bury"
"But daddies bones are a no go"
I give him a cuddle, stroked his bony head,
"What's skeleton to do"
When his dog likes to bury bones,
Last week he buried his tail, in one of those fifty holes,
And its still waggling, wiggling as we speak buried in a hole.
 Mar 2015 My name is a lie
Jack
.

We drink from the fountain of earthly delights
Sweet to the taste, ever cool to the touch
Blushing of purity bred in our hearts
Glistened enchantment now needed so much

Beneath a rainbow’s curved ribbon effect
Painted in singular motions of love
Rippled reflections bare moonlit disguises
Memories fashioned below and above

A ticket to heaven on silver cloud linings
With only the touch of your rose petal lips
Swallowing all that affection does offer
Consuming desire in delicate sips

Breathless endeavors of water fall shimmers
Deeper we dwell inside every dream
You in my arms on this aqua blue evening
Illumined in passion, aglow in the gleam

Softy your eyes shine eternal devotion
Your enchanting beauty now all I can see
There is no need for this ticket to heaven
*For heaven is anywhere you are with me
I think about her every night.
Certainly she was Heavensent.
She struck all of my nerves.
She gave me everything.
She let me steal her breaths,
she even let me taste us.
Then she told me to get bent,
more or less.
I must confess,
sometimes
I don't speak right.
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