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Mar 2016 · 881
The Place you Left Behind
My name is a lie Mar 2016
Rising from the dirt
,surprisingly enough,
     leaves Stains
which, to be truthful,
     are the most
Stain-like stains there are.
     Just a Smudge
        ,a residue,
is left, Disguised
as a nasty faded
          Bruise
which never quite
     disappears
from Line of SIght.
Little Reminders of a time
      when you slept
with Critters of Night
           at home
,yet uncomfortable,
       all the same
Mar 2016 · 468
Purpose Within
My name is a lie Mar 2016
I know
we could form a world
All our Own
But
as I lift my head
and stars spin back
into alignment,
the slipping is reversed,
no longer Falling,

Floating,

We Remember
we can bring Fire to the Sea,
return Chaos to Habitation,
Embrace the Earth,
bring all to Ashes once again.
We remember Nothing is Forever
and the World must be Shared
with all the Powerful Beings.

Becuase when Stars Collide
the world will Burn
and we Beings will burst
into a million stars.
Mar 2016 · 434
Stand Back
My name is a lie Mar 2016
Watch me as
I return from the
Rubble
trace backwards
the Line of Fire
Try not to Gawk
as Ashes bleed together
form a shadow
devoid of all previous
Mutilations
Ready to Take on
the shape of Life
Keep your Skepticism to yourself
as I stretch newly formed
Perfect arms
toward Heaven
shudder as Breath pours
into my lungs
Linger
to expierence anew
the Taste of air
Life,
seen as a Privilege,
Takes on all new Forms
Oct 2015 · 431
For Mother
My name is a lie Oct 2015
I know my scars hurt you
and Suicide is Selfishness
I know when my energy transfers
you feel only pain and anger

But even worse than the destruction
I've done to my skin
and my veins
is the rot I've spurred inside

But today I am making
You a Promise
I Refuse to Decay
masochism will no longer be
my Only Friend

and I will not be Perfect
and pain will remain
a Constant Companion

But I am applying Tourniquets
the mass ocean of blood
will soon slow to
an Occasional trickle
and medication will be given
only PRN
and sometimes I may go for a walk
and Smile
at Nature and God

I'm not saying I am changed
I am simply trying
to grow
so please, just be Patient
just be Kind
Sep 2015 · 357
History
My name is a lie Sep 2015
all Humanity
is a Story within one
anothers Story
Sep 2015 · 463
What I Strive to Do
My name is a lie Sep 2015
when someone complains,
simply
Listen and Empathize
when someone brags,
Congratulate,
share good news of Others
when someone cries,
Cry with them
when someone laughs,
Laugh along
when someone finally ask you about Yourself
be Brave,
and say the things you've never said before
Jul 2015 · 364
Truth
My name is a lie Jul 2015
You can spout scientific facts all day about why cigarettes are more addictive to those with depression, but the true reason is because the thought of speeding up the decomposition of the mind and body gives thrills; depression makes one race to death.
Jun 2015 · 319
Brother
My name is a lie Jun 2015
You stare into my eyes,
and nod to my words,
yet in your eyes I see nothing
other than frustration
and exasperation.
I learn your ears
are stopped, with what
I do not know.
I realize your heart
is stopped as well.
The beating still struggles on,
for now, but when you look
away or mutter BUT sentences
I know I can't help you now.
I can't being to mend your sorrow
until you pull all your plugs
and allow the pain to flow out
and the words of those
who love you
to flow in.
Jun 2015 · 386
Need
My name is a lie Jun 2015
ink spills the same as blood
dark and thick
full of pain
releasing hidden desires
the spilling of each is
an art form of necessity
Jun 2015 · 400
Satisfaction
My name is a lie Jun 2015
I will not be Happy
until I can carry the weight
of the World
and still tread Lightly
May 2015 · 344
Untitled
My name is a lie May 2015
Coffee's cold
Whiskey's drank
Razor's rusty
Book's pages lost
Record scratched
Light's out
Cigarette's smoked
****'s gone

Anything can become an addiction,
yet when you lean on addictions
to distract from life
the problems only span wider
until you're engulfed,
and unable to ignore
the problem was you the whole time.
May 2015 · 383
Courage
My name is a lie May 2015
when your Mind wanders
and your thoughts bring Fear
and Nothing makes sense
and the Silence invades
and the lonilessness threatens to Crush you
turn off your phone
keep the TV black
dial back the radio
don't speak
Face your mind
live inside the Fear
Learn to Explore
the vast, dark, damp Cave
of your Mind
There you will find Bravery
May 2015 · 585
Prayer
My name is a lie May 2015
I'm trapped in this moment
There's a rock in my chest
I need you to stop this breathing
Stop this heaving
Stop this feeling
I can take no more
The paradox will crush me
I'm crying out
Oh, help me now
I need your words
I need a spirit      
There's something inside    
It must crawl out                    
Take me away, from all of the pain
This was inspired by my cousin's music.
May 2015 · 242
Untitled
My name is a lie May 2015
Connection.
what we crave,
to be Interrelated.
to feel Belonging,
through no fault of our own.            
to find our niche,
a place to be at Peace.
Apr 2015 · 335
Tenative Love
My name is a lie Apr 2015
You've waited so long,,
my respect for
you increase.
Yet, I wait.
I wait for you to move,,
to reveal this
is real.
Please, don't be afraid
of your scars,,
when you've seen mine.
Apr 2015 · 358
Spiritual Journey
My name is a lie Apr 2015
Fly out the window
View the innumerable
Lives spinning in and out
Graze the Cheeks of
all the precious Human Race
enter Souls and
Explore Minds
be distant and
also Attached
find Yourself through
Loving Others
Apr 2015 · 269
Nostalgia
My name is a lie Apr 2015
do you ever Stop
and Wonder what your
Life will be in 10 years?
Now stop and ask
What do I Miss Now
from 10 Years ago?

Life is good,
as long as you have
Moments to Miss.
Apr 2015 · 329
Untitled
My name is a lie Apr 2015
to Realize you have no one to
Blame for your Own
Pain, your Own Mindset
cuts through the quick of
your Bones
slices through each artery
Even your Heart
it goes all the Way to
your Soul
it zaps your Life Force
and strips you
of Dignity

Only then can you
begin to Scratch and Crawl
your Way back Up
to the Person you long
to Be
My name is a lie Apr 2015
We were Put here
to Care and Love
One Another
to watch out for
Each Other
Put aside Yourself
Mar 2015 · 440
Decisions
My name is a lie Mar 2015
A piece of my Life Force
Ripped away
torn Asunder
Severed

Every Action has a Reaction
Everything has a Consequence

I will be Okay
You will get through

Strength comes from Pain
Mar 2015 · 909
Introversion
My name is a lie Mar 2015
I could so easily
become a Hermit.
Push the World away,
shed obligation,
Never Truly touch
another Human.

But I am burdened
with Duty.
I am Cursed
to Care.
Mar 2015 · 393
Power
My name is a lie Mar 2015
we do not
find Love in
our Soul Mates
we do not
find Peace in
our Gods
we do not
find Confidence in
our Dance Partners
we do not
find Strength in
our Friends

we find these in
our Soul, in Ourselves
we are Creatures
of Excellence
continuously ignoring
our Potential

Stand Up and Fight
Find Power In Yourself
My name is a lie Mar 2015
blare the Music
Write it out
walk until your Numb
Kick the pain into your shin
Bleed out the Demons
Smoke until you giggle
Drink until you throw up your Soul
*Anything. Not. To. Feel.
Title taken from Migraine by Twenty One Pilots
Mar 2015 · 412
there is Truth in Cliche
My name is a lie Mar 2015
I may not Know who
I am, but I Recognize
pieces of me,,
in Contemplation
in Time alone
in Others

we are all a Hodge Podge of
pieces, a Mosaic
cracked, yet beautiful
Mar 2015 · 3.3k
Untitled
My name is a lie Mar 2015
It is odd to think
we were all once
that child we admire
yet are scared to be
Mar 2015 · 314
we Grow and we Shrink
My name is a lie Mar 2015
I have Not lost
Myself
my Nature is still there
I continue to be the girl,
the Woman, I was
decided (I Decided?)
to be
I Grow
I Swell
I Shrink
I Regress
I am Human
You are Human

Live
Its the only thing Worth It
Mar 2015 · 257
Untitled
My name is a lie Mar 2015
the rain is my favorite
Kind of Weather
it's morbidity is like me
I believe the Torrent in
my Mind is  Expressed
My name is a lie Mar 2015
It's like the world is dead
I get to be myself
I get to be the only one in my head
Mar 2015 · 324
Rain
My name is a lie Mar 2015
is the Earth's way
of telling us
Slow down a bit
Mar 2015 · 294
Psychosis
My name is a lie Mar 2015
the Subconscious is so
much Stronger than
the Conscious
Yet, we continue
to War
Mar 2015 · 863
Transperancy
My name is a lie Mar 2015
These layers so Thin,
Yet continue to Build
One on top the Other
Hoping, trying to Hide
You all see straight Through
Then look away, Pretend
The facade is Convincing
Your embarrassment enables Deceit
You do no Favors
The cycle Continues
Mar 2015 · 336
We're All A Little Hidden
My name is a lie Mar 2015
there is something
Mesmerizing about
Eyes clouded with
Pain, hidden behind
a Warrior's smile
Mar 2015 · 491
Temptation
My name is a lie Mar 2015
your Innocence is
        Captivating
your Eyes exude
         Love
your Aura screams
         Optimist

I know I must resist
I can not touch you
your innocence will
not Cleanse me
I will simply muddy
your Pristine Character
Feb 2015 · 1.4k
Humanity
My name is a lie Feb 2015
allow the Pain
to invade
provide permission for the
Violent waves
of Agony
to Wrack your body
Feb 2015 · 337
You Will Never See Me
My name is a lie Feb 2015
because I'm not Good
at heart
I am a midnight crow
a bad Omen
I am a black hole
waiting to Swallow you up
Feb 2015 · 436
Consumed
My name is a lie Feb 2015
Tumultuous waves rock violently
                back and forth
         back and forth
wracking against my Skull
      tugging my mind
       pulling my soul
tempting me to retreat Undertow,
allow the discord to 
              Pull me under

my feet frantically search for 
          Solid Ground
Oh God, nothing
there is     Nothing    but 

            Waves

Chocking me, 
Blocking me
    from shore
my ears are filled, I hear only

                   Fear

Kick, Push, Pull
I Strain to life my head once more

             Look Up, Look Up

I was in the shallow end the whole time
Jan 2015 · 275
Untitled
My name is a lie Jan 2015
let's Run away
            Together and
become Something we're not
Dec 2014 · 553
True Colors
My name is a lie Dec 2014
I know a boy
Who cared so deeply his
Wounds became oceans
You could drown in
His emotions
Sink into his
Pilable heart

But pain and realization            
Of the worlds inquiries
Began to form a crust
Over that bright
Red heart

This crust has
Cracks though
Cracks which the brightness
Of his soul
Shine through  
Revealing his true
Bright colors
Showing his soft nature

I love this boy
Just a ****** poem I jotted about my boyfriend
Dec 2014 · 465
Choke
My name is a lie Dec 2014
there,
behind my intestines
pressing against my stomach
reach down,
down my throat
grasping and digging
Pull, Yank, Pry
stuck.
I feel its Yearning
to spill over and Spew
past my tongue, teeth, and lips
Breath is no where
to be found
doubled over
no Tears
Fear. Resentment.
Begging, please, I am pleading
for the Escape
No Force left
worn, tired
lapsing into Despondency

Once again, I choke
on Truth.
Nov 2014 · 794
Cowardice
My name is a lie Nov 2014
Do not shrowd my head
with new confusion
untruth, half truth, soon truth
Do not pull me back
as the instinct of flight takes over
Do not ask me
question(s) I can not answer
Do not distract from
my melancholy
Do not make me
new, different, unsure
Allow me to Fear
Nov 2014 · 303
2 A.M.
My name is a lie Nov 2014
my Heart spills over
I can not
Contain
Words not fit
for the Light of Day
Nov 2014 · 1.4k
Tears
My name is a lie Nov 2014
Lacrimal ducts clogged.
I am Broken
in the most fundamental way.
Catharsis ineffective, Insufficient.
Insufficient.
Perfect word
to describe everything.
If only there were a handyman
to unclog
my lacrimal ducts
my soul
my cranium
Nov 2014 · 569
Rumination
My name is a lie Nov 2014
I wish I was Sober
             But
I can not face
the Thoughts that
Scramble and Scurry
through this brain

I escape
into pain
Any pain that
Distracts
from the real Agony
of Confusion
          Yet
Nothing treat this Sickness
Nov 2014 · 452
A Ray V
My name is a lie Nov 2014
I used to see a Pillar
of strength, support, love.
that has not gone.
Yet, now I know
your pillar
is of Salt
Fragile
with cracks, imperfections.
your Strength
precarious
you could fall
at any time
Crumble, drift away
I am Afraid
to hold
Too Tight
I couldn't bear
to cause your demise
to cause
you to slip away

— The End —