"Life is hard,"
she said,
"and life is sad.  Life is one
thousand crevices carved into your heartscape,
By human fingernails,
even your own."

"You will feel strongest, somehow,
when you cry.
You will feel that there is nothing left
that can harm you
and you will be wrong,
and you will be right.
And you'll beat into your head your own lessons
and others will beat the
kindness
and
empathy
right out of your mind.
You will be shaken,
rattled to your core
time after time,
and each time you'll find that your heartscape, your center is more
brazen than blind.
It has its own mind; It has never resigned.
Swim the caverns you've carved
into your insides and
realize -

You are not damaged, but exposed.  
Opened up like a
flower
blooming toward
the light."

I take a
Gulp,
To wash the day
Down,
So very far down
And away from the
Hollow faces
And even paler
Words
That permeate the
Malls, halls
And roads that lead to a
Silent kind of slavery.

I take a
Gulp
To sink even further unto
Revolution, evolution
And nausea
As I witness
The knife
And once more into the
Back,
Our collective back,
Unnoticed, uncaring
And almost wished for.

I take a gulp, I take a gulp, I finish it off.

I grab another, I finish it off,
And another and another and another
So that I may succumb to a
Different kind of sickness.

It’s in this “state,”
No pun intended,
That I can finally see –
America’s
An illusion
And my noose is slightly
Looser
Than yours.