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Oct 2018 · 675
who really are you
Doll Spaghetti Oct 2018
because its not you messaging me
Sep 2018 · 547
nine months of words
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2018
a quiet world
leaves are dropping down
through the sky
onto my clothes
walking down a nature trail
i'm holding hands with the air
tightly

coming home, there are flashbacks
no one is outside
my family is out for the night
tilting my head down low
i harvest the rest of the jalapenos
i wanted to grow with you

-

taking a bit out of one,
i wanted to see your shocked expression
and hear you say "oh my god logan"
as i'd smile and hold in my emotion
to make you laugh
i'd ask you to try it, and you would giggle and say
"no, it'll hurt"

my kisses would be painful
because of the pepper
i would laugh
as i got you something to drink

-

my wrists snap
as i lift my 30th bag of mulch
for someone elses garden
"thank you, you're a blessing"
"no problem, have a good day sir"
checking my phone,
i'd look to see if you had posted something
. . .
nothing for today
sighing, i'd recall those years we were together
you told me not to let you haunt me
but i only ever thought of you
as a blessing

-

i really do love you.
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2018
this feeling doesn't go away
i feel it moving through me
i want a love I had inside
want to feel it moving through me

in dreams
i'm moving through heavy water
the love is enormous,
it's lifting me up
i'd rather be sleeping
i'd rather fall in to tidal waves
and go where the deepest currents go

i opened a mirror up
and saw a true love
i let it separate in two
the water rising up over my head

in dreams
i'm moving through heavy water
the love is enormous,
it's lifting me up
i'd rather be sleeping
i'd rather fall in to tidal waves
right where the deepest currents fall
Sep 2018 · 296
minutes later
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2018
I can't stop looking and reading.
I keep saying it, that you've moved on.
That I love you and it doesn't stop.
I shake at work recalling our memories.
I cry at home remembering your tears.
I stay silent and watch. The dreams don't fade anymore. The mania doesn't leave. I'm at once elated and sunken.
Really, I am a fool.
Sep 2018 · 228
oceans of regret
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2018
my face burns
a flame of emotion across a clouded sky
my insides swell and heave
a ship rocks from the tidal waves
i lose my footing,
or did i jump?
Why did I do this?
I already know the answer.
-silence-

the air ripples my clothes
i fall for hours
crash.
the ocean.
i remember the feeling.
it's cold; i am solid
i cannot move
water is in my lungs
the salt stings my eyes.
there is nothing for miles
only i exist here
It isn't enough. Most life in the ocean isn't this high up.
i let out the remaining air in my lungs, and i begin to sink.

I see you.
Watching me.
we both relive our pain.
the stinging of the box jellyfish.
the pierce of an octopus beak.
it hurts.
I see our blood color the water.
The tears in our eyes, or is it the brine?
You say something.
I couldn't hear it.

I have to keep sinking.
I have to find you, see you,
Ask you.
I pull us both down.
your stinging stops, for one moment.
the jellyfish and the octopus.
is it an embrace? is it a struggle?
I hold our memories,
cradled in 8 arms.
I feel your fear.
I see my mistake.
jetting upward, I force myself up.
upward in the roiling ocean.
Why did I do this to you?
What can I do to fix it?

the octopus pulls
it pulls
it pulls it's arms off.
it can't look at itself
not with these arms
not with these eyes.
Looking back now, I really didn't see her.
I promised my heart to her, and I only gave half.
he stops moving.
floating motionless.
the jellyfish has drifted away.
he watches in silence.
she has painted new pictures.
he closes his eyes and thinks of what he's done.

the months pass
he meets the other fish in the sea.
he wastes his time.
on them.
on his hobbies.
on working.
each night he sees her in a dream, but by morning he says it's washed away.
I can't blame her.
I wasn't there.

september.
he feels himself climbing up the side of the trawler.
Maybe I can stay alone.
By myself.
Maybe I really am the devil of the ocean, and only god can redeem me.
he argues with his friends
"You still miss her, don't you?"
is what they ask.
he hesitates.
he feels the love resurging.
I am different. This time it is different.
he wakes up early and works out.
he takes on another job.
he resists the pull of the sea.

he thinks of the jellyfish and his wrongs. he wants to share his unbridled love.
I'll look.
Just one more time.
the waves, they're back
the sky is gloomy and it rains for days.
he wants to dive again.
back down to her.
he knows his mistakes and remembers hers. but it'll be different.

the ocean looks the same.
embrace the endless ocean
Aug 2018 · 229
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Aug 2018
I went to a wedding today
And as I went, I recalled
The vows you and I made
Prematurely
The names of our kids
Where we would live
Stay at home parents
Caring for the children
Making our lives together

I continue to cry
And wait
As I kept my vow
Still here
Waiting for a sign
To return back to our lives

No response
Aug 2018 · 323
a night to forget
Doll Spaghetti Aug 2018
A shot of whiskey and some wine

A life in beautiful decline

I try to run, I try to hide

Intoxicated all the time

I'll build a bridge to watch it burn

Pour the ashes in the urn

And turn away just to start again
Aug 2018 · 250
Beggar Hero
Doll Spaghetti Aug 2018
Paved was his road with the golden bricks,
To the glory and to the fame.
Yesterday's hero sits quiet and low.
Promises of future lies shattered like broken glass.

Lonely and crippled roaming in,
Gutters like a shadow of his past.
Reminiscing along nostalgia's lane.
Telling the children stories is his only joy.

Shyly sneaking through crowds,
Almost unnoticed passing by.
Prince of misfortunate fate is he.
Enduring poverty's yoke,
With a bitter sigh.
A Beggar Hero he is.

Once a brave captain now but a
Fallen knight of misery and pain.
Starving through days and freezing through nights.
Seeing the young soldiers walk by with a mocking smile.
Aug 2018 · 185
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Aug 2018
Once upon a time, there was a restless king in charge.
What could he contribute to write some history?
Gold he had plenty of, but plenty could be more.
So onwards he marched, on reasons quite obscure...

With a blindfold and sword, come deliver us from evil!

Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.
Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.

Echoes of crusaders were heard across the world,
as he fought against the legions sent from Hell.
Shadows of the templars are yet again a fact:

Creeds are cast aside, determination's still intact...

With a blindfold and sword, come deliver us from evil!

Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.
Great saviour of all, so honest and brave, your land of the free is the home of the knave.
Aug 2018 · 167
times like these
Jul 2018 · 200
divided attention
Doll Spaghetti Jul 2018
I want to keep my eyes on you
Jun 2018 · 231
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Jun 2018
on this heart I find
the scars I left behind
heaven lift me up
Jun 2018 · 275
unfamiliar room
Doll Spaghetti Jun 2018
once again I enter an unfamiliar room
the door locked twice and the ac started running
I laid down on a strange bed, checked the small shower
ate a lukewarm sandwich I bought hours ago
and looked for you
the memories we made in an unfamiliar room still find me
and I don't know what to do

but these are the things I do
when I think of you
I know you don't think of me
but it's the little things that I do, that remind me of you
May 2018 · 229
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti May 2018
Those that forever disappear
All I want is for you to talk to me
The way you used to do

Your old hymns don't touch my face
My heart moves in a new place
I am out of practice falling into love

Remember when we used to say
"I don't know" and it was okay
I am going back to knowing nothing now

Those that forever disappear
All I want is for you to talk to me
The way you used to do

If you won't be seen again
I hope you know you were my friend
And in my head the world will never hurt you
Apr 2018 · 178
cannibal
Doll Spaghetti Apr 2018
eating all my contacts
all the people i talked to
Mar 2018 · 282
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Mar 2018
never was much of a romantic

i could never take the intimacy

and i know i did damage

cause the look in your eyes is killing me

i guess you are at an advantage

cause you can blame me for everything

and i don't know how i'mma manage

if one day you just up and leave
Mar 2018 · 256
runaway
Doll Spaghetti Mar 2018
and I always find, yeah, I always find something wrong
you been putting up with my **** just way too long
i'm so gifted at finding what I don't like the most
so I think it's time for us to have a toast

let's have a toast for the *******
let's have a toast for the *******
let's have a toast for the scumbags
every one of them that I know
let's have a toast for the ****-offs
that'll never take work off

baby, I got a plan
run away fast as you can
Mar 2018 · 196
regression
Doll Spaghetti Mar 2018
i'm falling back into hell
Mar 2018 · 166
goal in life
Doll Spaghetti Mar 2018
a strong back
bearing all the stress
of the past and a future
built for myself
brick and mortar
arms to lift
mechanical nature
something simple would be nice
complex doesnt work
Feb 2018 · 178
unravel
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNq9LfBgKlo
Feb 2018 · 159
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
being scared of your past

and running from it,

refusing any confrontation with the thing that does you harm

makes you a coward unable to cope with your life
Feb 2018 · 178
its not up to you
Feb 2018 · 203
history of touches
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
i wake you up in the middle of the night

to express my love for you

stroke your skin and feel you

naked, i can feel all of you

at the same moment

-

i wake you up in the night

feeling this is our last time together

therefore sensing all the moments

we've been together

being here at the same time

-

every single touch we ever touch each other

every single **** we had together

is in a wondrous time lapse

with us here here at this moment

the history of touches

every single archive

compressed into a second

all with us here as I wake you up
Feb 2018 · 159
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
i've left the memories of our youth behind

i dont know what she hopes to find

in the shadows, she waits for me

for a dream that cannot be
Feb 2018 · 313
body memory
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
i relish these quiet nights

where i stay up till' 5am

singing songs on repeat

doing what i want

with no one to interrupt me


although we've only talked a little,

shes sleeping and i cant wake her up

the joy of a possible future is still fresh

within my gut


tomorrow she'll message me

and i'll do the same things i usually do

my body memory will kick in

and we'll do this dance once again

but with another person

i'll still love it

as i did every time before

-

maybe one day i'll show her the things i write

but maybe this time, i'll try keeping everything to myself

the world seems to work better this way
jinji
Feb 2018 · 417
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
my descent is the story of every man

i am hatred, darkness, and despair

my descent is the story of every man

i am hatred, darkness, and despair
Feb 2018 · 229
another try
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
who are you

and whats your name

it feels like i met you before

in crowded living rooms

and broken down basements

feels like you're with everyone, and no one at all.



my only meaningful relationship is hundreds of miles away

and its so very distant that it matters less and less every day

but i can't move on


pick up my coat

i know what i did wrong

go home

maybe i can give it another try
Feb 2018 · 199
broken neck guitar
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
recently i received a guitar

loaned to my sister from my uncle

and now given to me

it has seen no use for a few years

the strings are too tight

the neck is breaking from the base

-

ive looked at the guitar for awhile now

and i feel the same way

being pulled so hard in one direction

keeps my body taut

and able to do the work i need to do

to move past girl #3, #4, and now #5

but ive held my back straight for so long

that at some point i feel like my neck will pull away from my base

and my head will seperate from my heart

and neither will know what to do
the stress of a relationship ending pulls on a man. no one can strum my strings. one day they will snap, but who will replace the strings of a broken guitar
Feb 2018 · 234
car parts
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
if my car breaks down, i go out and look for some parts to fix it

if my relationship breaks down, i look for another person to replace it

i was the headlights you had been chasing for a few yearz

but within a month you had me replaced

the transmission was broke

and you blamed me

after the g6 was totaled,

you sold me out to the scrapyard

crying for a minute,

then throwing me away

you blocked all contact

refusing to hear the answer

to the questions you asked

back in december

-

so here we are

that month later

you did what i knew you would do

and i didnt act to stop it

because you never stopped to see

my oncoming traffic.
passion never makes a good relationship.
Feb 2018 · 161
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Feb 2018
no man should have to bury his child
but this has been my share
the tears i shed run bitter and wild
its a heavy burden to bear

his body feels so light in my arms
his skin is pale as snow
yet his weight feels heavy in my heart
as my sadness continues to grow
Jan 2018 · 400
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Jan 2018
Once there was a little girl, called Little Red Riding Hood, for she wore always that red riding hood. Now her mother had made her a suit of clothing for her to wear, and this suit of clothing had been made completely out of metal. Her mother then went away to stay alone in a little cottage in the woods, and told the girl, “only when you have worn out this suit of clothing shall you come and visit me.” So the girl, nodding solemnly, bade her mother goodbye and set to work to wearing out her suit of metal clothing.

Every day, she rubbed herself against the walls of her home, so that the clothing would be worn out sooner. Every day, day-by-day, without fail she would rub herself against the walls, till her clothes became thinner, and thinner till she completely wore it out. Elated, she made some bread with butter and wheat cakes for her mother, intending them as gifts, and left her house for her mother’s cottage in the woods. Along the way, just as she was about to enter the woods, she encountered a wolf, which asked for some of her cakes and bread. She refused, for it was to be a gift to her mother. Unfazed, the wolf asked if she would be traveling via the road of pins or the road of needles. The young girl replied that she would be using the road of pins. Thus, the wolf ran quickly down the road of needles and knocked upon the door to the girl’s mother’s cottage.

“Who is it?” the girl’s mother asked.

“It is I, your daughter, come to bring you cakes and bread.”

And when the mother opened the door, the wolf killed her, eating most of her. Sometime later, the young girl finally arrived at her mother’s cottage. Knocking upon the door, she heard her mother call out in a strange voice, “who’s at the door?” “It is I, your daughter, come to bring you bread and cakes, for I have worn out my clothing of metal and now come to visit you.” “Come in my daughter, the door is not locked!” But the door was locked, and the little girl had to climb in through the little hole at the bottom of the door. Once inside, she noticed that her mother was in bed. After the long walk through the woods the girl was hungry, and said thus to her mother.

“Mother, I’m hungry, for I have traveled far and deep to this place.”

And so the reply was, “there is meat in the cupboard, that you may consume to sate your hunger.”

And as the little girl was about to eat the meat from the cupboard, suddenly a cat jumped onto the cupboard and told the girl, “do not eat this meat, for this is the meat of your mother, whom has been murdered most foul by the wolf that now sleeps in her bed!” Thus the little girl told her mother, “Mother, this cat says that it is your meat that I am about to eat!”And her mother told her, “Surely this cat is lying, for am I not alive and well, talking to you even now? So throw your stick at the cat and eat the meat to sate your hunger.”

So the girl obediently threw her stick at the cat, thus scaring it off before consuming the meat. When she had eaten her fill, she felt thirsty, and told her mother so.

“There is a bottle of wine above the fireplace child, drink it, and sate your thirst.” And as the girl went to the fireplace and picked up the bottle, a bird flew onto the fireplace and chirped, “little girl, do not drink this wine, for it is the blood of your mother that has been killed by the wolf whom now lies upon the bed.” And when the little girl said to her mother, “mother, there is a bird that says that this bottle of red wine that I am about to drink is your blood, and that you were killed by a wolf, whom now lies in your place!” And thus came the reply, “child, am I not alive and well? So is the bird lying. Throw your cloak at it, that you may then drink of the wine in peace, and vanquish your thirst.” Thus the girl did as she was told, and drank of the wine, till not a drop was left. Now when she had eaten and drank her fill, till hungry and thirsty she was not, suddenly the girl felt sleepy. Thus her mother said to her, “come child, and rest by my side. I would have you by me once more.” And the girl walked to her mother’s side and undressed. Putting her clothes of cotton and wool neatly by the side, she climbed into the sheets with mother, so as to rest. There she saw her mother, looking very strange. “Why mother,” She exclaimed, “what big ears you have!” “The better to hear you with, my child.”

Came the reply. “Why mother,” the girl continued, “what big eyes you have!”

“All the better to see you with, my child.” Came the reply. “But mother, what big paws you have!” The girl exclaimed.

“The better to hug you with.” Came the reply.

“Oh mother, what big, sharp teeth and terrible mouth you have!” The girl cried out.

“The better to eat you with!” The wolf said.

And at that, the wolf pounced upon the girl and devoured her, rending apart her flesh and bone, eating her alive, ignoring her screams.

And thus, the wolf ate the girl, sating its hunger.
jin-roh: wolf brigade
Jan 2018 · 157
heima
Doll Spaghetti Jan 2018
i wish i could go out into a battle in the 1100's and **** a couple people with a sword before i was struck down and forgot about the stupid **** i did in this life
Jan 2018 · 218
me, im not
Doll Spaghetti Jan 2018
if I take it all back
someway, somehow
if I knew back then
what I know right now
Sep 2017 · 405
what do you want me to say
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2017
a mother and her child
a man and his dog
two longtime friends
out drinking at the hole in the wall
four classmates
cramming for exams together

does my love
have to
have a
million dollar
budget
and a team of
writers
or does it
have to
be a
mutual
agreement

does it come from a shared interest
does it come from unequal concerns

why can my love be a cats head in my hand
why can my love be a fish breaking the lake's surface
why cant it just be left alone and accepted

a tide that always comes in?
a sun that always rises?

coming forth
at 3:30
AM
based on the relationship with my father, the relationship with my lover, the relationship with my best friend, the relationship with my dog, the relationship with my mother
Aug 2017 · 300
reverberation
Doll Spaghetti Aug 2017
the winter's sky
a clear red
tightens around my frozen heart.

the fading constellations revive
sweet memories, which i should have lost
Jun 2017 · 514
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Jun 2017
quiet marching for the present

future feelings forever frozen

ending ancient auras evil

continue on to present wedding

each of us walking forward

one of us for the other
Dec 2016 · 688
forever
Doll Spaghetti Dec 2016
there was a boy
about 16
he found the love of his life
or so he had thought

there was a boy
about 20
she left him to die
on a sleeting february night
walking the barberton street

a year later
there was another boy
in the same body
21
who made two decisions

to love
and to serve

there was a girl
age 18
who met the boy
far away from her

she was him

they talked
they played
but he had to leave for a little bit

a little bit turned to a long bit
he saw her struggle
he kept trying
it didnt work

he kept waiting

he kept waiting

he kept waiting

he kept waiting

she appeared

he made his move

she took him back!

she made her choice
he'd made his
________
there might be more
than a mile or two
from here to there
but really
its only the distance from his camera
that keeps him in focus,
right?

_________
rebecca
Dec 2016 · 1.0k
daydreaming
Doll Spaghetti Dec 2016
a cyborg leaps 200 feet
broken out from the facility
they're faster than him
and more persistent
but he wont go back
________

a girl
and i
both here
waiting
for summer
thinking
about
each other
daily
and nightly
Nov 2016 · 785
2115
Doll Spaghetti Nov 2016
watch silently
a day goes by in a couple hours
the night leaves in a few minutes
how many words do i speak in one day?
under 100, probably

i dont need much
a computer, a roof, some sushi, a pepsi
8 friends, 3 family, 1 wife
to make a good time last forever

the object of my passions
you'll be here in my arms
for a day
at a military fort
rebecca
Sep 2016 · 477
bye logan
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2016
three young soldiers
talking about the women they love
one Friday night, in September

"i love animals and I have-"
click
"you can impress me by taking me-"
click
"don't message me if you're just going-"
click

whats the point of building up my story
if there isn't anyone that can read it

**** me, man
am I really that different from the me I was
8 months ago?
Jan 2016 · 416
Love East
Doll Spaghetti Jan 2016
two weeks to go
pick the last meal
for the old logan
Dec 2015 · 533
cocaine daughter
Doll Spaghetti Dec 2015
I discovered all the water has gone to your brain
Your womb is surprisingly dry.

How many more children will it take
To fill your empty soul.

There's an anchor at the bottom of your pelvis.

Like a bald-faced hornet trapped in amber.

Let it go.
Nov 2015 · 449
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Nov 2015
its only now that i've reclaimed the life I used to live, now with one more

but wait! before you come to implore that your love (which I now live for) has dropped like my ****/death score away from this constant bore of a person i am, then please open your door and hear the lore of all the journeys I had before I met the girl whom lets me snore and pour my store of knowledge on her on my own time and loves me all the same for it

every night I say I love you
whether you hear my message or not
most of the time, I don't type it
after I saw you playing games with someone else, I felt jealousy and fear, and decided to write this instead. good night and I love you
Nov 2015 · 484
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Nov 2015
I am the one who preys on weak
I offer everything they seek
And I am the one who comes, richly endowed
Harvesting fields of crops, which others have plowed
Oct 2015 · 387
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Oct 2015
You're so ****** frail
Failing for a change
You just had to know all about the world
But you will never know

'Cause no one ever told you how
Oct 2015 · 744
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Oct 2015
we're hiding here in the abyss
and the world, is in flames

two star-crossed lovers reaching out
to the Beast, With Many Names
Oct 2015 · 607
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Oct 2015
i could type anything and people would think its deep and poetic
Sep 2015 · 497
Untitled
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2015
i followed your white footprints, the enlarged distance between us

my white, frozen breath will surely melt without reaching you

you stared into the distance, and overlooked me, beyond my dreams
Sep 2015 · 520
3:40am [10w]
Doll Spaghetti Sep 2015
my eyes
are tubes of icy hot

piercing
and burning
Aug 2015 · 670
family
Doll Spaghetti Aug 2015
am I done changing
or have the changes already occurred

are you going to wait for me
or is it too difficult to stay put

do I hate being around others
or is it a flaw I can fix

when will I feel you next to me?

when will I learn to swim across the black lake,
the final nautical miles of my insecurity

are you going to be there?
or have the waves only begun to rise...
friends and the loved one
more melancholy than usual
due to the coming tropical storm
sorry
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