-

feeling it
cornrows blasted by tulmoultous dust storms engulfing the plains
gunshot wounds to the hand
a teenager and his dad's cockfight
building split by the demolition team

can't really put it into words

my enveloping ambitions kick the family chair away from this hanged man's goal

i'll change

and finally I will be strong

do I really have to get up and go donate plasma for $20?

is it necessary for me to wake up at 8am when I have nothing to do?

will I become something more than a transient
laying in bed,
on a chair,
walking back from the kitchen and sitting back down again?

these people i have met,
are they the last performance?

while processing slow, doesn't my mind want something more?

will I become my attainable dream?

how many times can you start your personality over from scratch before you have to lock it in?

do these pieces you've obtained really make you?

does my nightly introspection bring me tears, or is it just another night of being tired?

i am the strongest

another 4:12 goes by

my hand still stings
from the night I used it to punch through her wall
when I walked on the frostbitten sidewalk
and it broke my fall
when i got sick of hearing her talk and typed
"don't call me anymore"

those days weren't too long ago, really

i got my solace in the end that their winter's grasp dripped away from my body when your spring sun showed up
and gave way as your burning summer wildfire lit my coal'd heart

maybe this time its different
or maybe its not

i guess I'm not too bothered
either way
------

i'm always looking for new members for this circus

our first show for you tonight is the incredibly ambitious boy
he's always alone and craving attention
he who has realized his current worth and all he can be
and revels in phantasmagoria eternal
yet never steps out of his mind

next, we have a guest performer for you tonight
hailing all the way from ???
she is a gorgeous lady with a somber past and an uncertain future
never in one place too long, this disappearing act will keep you in your seat begging for more

our third act is the content boy
whom has sated his desire and no longer feels the fire burning down his house, a miracle you have to see to believe
he can spend days doing the routine he has done all his life and let the weeks pass him by and forget all he has done, not even thinking about the consequences of inactivity

the ******! the fourth act!
we have the melancholy boy!
never before have you been filled with pity quite like this!
he has realized what has happened with him, as he has done many times before!
reaching out for a branch to break his burning descent, he grabs for the girl and prays for forgiveness!

our fifth act, our final act, is weeks of silence.
our hero remembers who he is and the flaws of his character
"finally i can get some sleep"
he murmurs to himself
as he rubs his eyes,
brushes his teeth,
and eats his breakfast

needed something to say before I go
and pass away for a few hours and ressurect the lover again

this ain't the time
to be slain by the tongued daggers from former friends
from the impressionable and the gullible
run, friend
to the warm nation I govern
where all is stable
and I fight on the daily
and maybe then you'll
see

i sing a love song for you

hey man

just came by to tell you that
everything that you hate
everything that you dislike
all the bad memories and evil people
fade away
you dont have to beat yourself up over it
or relive sad events
it wont solve anything

you're alive, aren't you?
remember that
for me
and for you

eyes sting
but not from sadness
but from reading and posting new status
from you, from them, from all the important matters

i'm just a tall boy
infatuated with blood knights and old toys
nothing too special about me
been through a girl or two and i can see
the firm belief
that you're not going to be giving me any grief
keep things simple friend, we've got the time
to avoid the overthink and read through the fine
lines that makes each other human and well
aint nobody been through this shell
or prevail with casting the spells of love on me
so you see that i will always be true
and from what i've garnered i know you will too

thought things would be different this time
that it all started to make sense
that the future had revealed itself

but it didnt

---

kendrick, 81's, pride, and ten hours
but really its been seventy two

if i could
could reach the end
there would be so many things i dont understand
if i could
could try again
we could be more than friends
the world we know will always change

good ****

blank faced stone
staring at the lava from which it came
boiling white eyes
crusted, cooling hair
the changing mistress that he once was
her emotions motion the ocean
to break down his defined exterior
and reunite the blue sea with the red lake
for them to create, again

showers at 3am
carrying dead limbs up the stairs
a moment of quiet, finally
until
the lcd screen vibrates

sun behind the glass and a thorny seat
violent crimes and violet flowers
strangers you know and friends you dont
five hour talks
an old black sock
rainbow hair
risotto and grease
another day gone

the saccharine girl
silent nights
keyboard taps
echoed laughter
the gravel boy