I don't like that I like it.
I'm uncomfortable with it's familiarity.
I hate that I love it.

I despise the obsession.
I loathe the acceptance.
I confess that I'm upset with the extent of its influence.
I'm not okay with how okay I am with getting lost in this confluence of forces.

Please don't coerce me into this kind of metamorphosis.
I don't want these wings.
This isn't the sky that I'd care to travel.
These aren't the clouds I'd choose to drown in.

The next thing I swallow won't be a mouthful of lies.
Certain circumstances notwithstanding;
I'll burn these feathers before I use them to fly.

I'd been holding out on living until I found out she'd died.

No one laughed at the funniest joke ever told.
In fact, many of them cried,
while others went batshit and lost their minds,
but most just sat and stared;
Catatonic.
Unaware.

Everything broke;
nobody cared.

This is my solitary tambourine
I play wildly,
and dance possessed
a poem, a poets music
forming patterns in the dust.

Sometimes days are for prose
while the poets sleep
and dream, and dream...