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Dec 2014 · 4.7k
trust issues
ethereal Dec 2014
"fall, don't worry, i'll catch you" you whisper sweetly in my ear
now the blood is gushing from my cranium
i guess it's my own **** fault
Dec 2014 · 556
iii
ethereal Dec 2014
iii
i wish i could write something that conveyed how i'm feeling
i feel numb
i am numb
but how do i convey numbness?
Dec 2014 · 518
blank
ethereal Dec 2014
The blue lines of the pieces of paper I wrote my deepest secrets on haunts me in my dreams. I stare at it blankly as it mocks me, spitting my words in my face as if it were poison I can't do anything about this pain but maybe if I were empty things would change and what about the deep dark secrets that laugh at me until I'm crying and how will I ever move past the guilt of your neck snapping as you hung yourself and where will I go when I have no one left and when will this emptiness subside how will I get out of the darkness and who will I turn to when I'm nearly drowning when will it stop will it ever stop who will stop it I want to meet them and thank them and ask them to make it stop sooner please make it stop this hurts it hurts and how could it not because I'm me and the guilt I feel that haunts my dreams is all I'll ever feel and this is the only me I'll ever know and maybe someone else will know another me but I will only know this one and maybe thats a good thing but maybe it's a tragedy.
This one really got away from me, I apologize.
Dec 2014 · 838
ii
ethereal Dec 2014
ii
How many pills does it take to ***** in a light bulb?
Depends on lightbulb.
Dec 2014 · 487
i
ethereal Dec 2014
i
If I beg you to break me will you shatter me to pieces?
If I plead and cry on my knees will you hurt me?
If I ask you kindly with my eyes to the ground
If I whisper in your ear in the middle of the night
If I scream it in the pillows
Will you make me bleed?
Will you make me feel?
Will you make the numbness go away?
Will you bruise me?
Make me remember why I'm here.
I thought about not putting that last line in. "Make me remember why I'm here." I showed this poem to a good friend of mine who told me not to censor myself, not to pretend the pain I'm feeling isn't here for the sake of not wanting to be crude, so I put it back in. She told me without the last line of this poem no one really knows why I want the pain, "it would be like ripping out the last five chapters of a good book" in her words. I agree.
ethereal Dec 2014
How could you have stopped my fall if you were the one who pushed me.
Nov 2014 · 627
modern day damsel
ethereal Nov 2014
Her pill bottles are empty
As empty as her bed
She's a modern day damsel
Sobbing 'til she's dead.
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
realistic love stories
ethereal Nov 2014
Girl meets boy
Boy can't handle affection because his father hit him as a child

Boy meets girl
Girl stops eating because thats what her mother taught her
Nov 2014 · 13.6k
emotionally anorexic
ethereal Nov 2014
I crave emotion like I crave pizza
But I can't have it
I can't let myself devour every ounce of love that comes my way
I can't become dependent on the infamous L word that has broken me
I'm emotionally anorexic,
But sometimes I'm bulimic
Sometimes I'll hunt down my prey, and **** them dry of their love
I'll crave it until I'm stuffed full, and then I'll purge it out
I'll tell them I hate them,
I'll tell them to leave forever
I'll push them away until I'm broken and sad and alone
And anorexic again
Until I'm back where I belong, in the corner of my room
Crying, sobbing, craving affection, but not letting myself have it
Because I don't want to be fat with lust
I can't gain a single pound because if I do
I'll be weak.
Nov 2014 · 434
Winter
ethereal Nov 2014
We were like summer.
Warm, bright, and gorgeous.
We were like sunlight on water, radiating in every direction.
We were happy, in love.
Free.

The last few days of summer felt like losing
Losing an ongoing battle that we thought we could win.
Our love is fading, and what has taken it’s place is cold.

We’re winter now.
We don’t speak, we don’t smile.
The flowers are dying, and the roads are slippery.

Winter is like trying to forget, trying and failing.
Waking up and wishing it had never happened.
Wishing we could smile again.
Wishing spring was here,
But our winter will never end.
Nov 2014 · 521
A Poem on Death
ethereal Nov 2014
I had a dream that I was dead
I shook and stilled across my bed
Black and white mixed with grey
And life as I knew it faded away
I looked toward the sky and toward the ground
I suddenly know where I am bound
Like a wild spirit set finally free
I sprang to my feet and dance wildly
I rise and sink and swim and sing
All the while, reality rings
Cold and dark and loud with sadness
My life grows bright and filled with madness
And though I longed to steal my dreams
I knew one day I’d tear the seams
My life and my love is painfully fleeting
Though I will be glad to finally be leaving
Nov 2014 · 6.8k
skin
ethereal Nov 2014
I love the way your skin folds against itself when you sit a certain way.
The way you unknowingly try so hard to touch more of your own flesh,
like you can’t get enough of yourself.

I can relate.

— The End —