His love was the sea and I'd fallen in love with sailing

Imagine your world being on the other side of a raging river and you're all out of lifeboats. So close yet so incredibly far. You try to swim, but you're frozen in the icy waters. You are no longer able to stay afloat and nobody can hear your screams over the crashing waves. Before you know it you've been swallowed and you're sinking to the bottom. Meanwhile, the only thing on your mind is "if only there was a way to part the sea". I'd stop all the waters from flowing if it meant simply feeling the rush of your body around me, and I suppose that's what I felt while I was drowning. It was you taking away my every breath and it was you filling my lungs. I finally understood what it means to hit rock bottom.

If this is the end then why do I still see you every time I close my eyes and why can't I forget how it felt to have you lying next to me? All those times in your jeep haunt me as I'm driving through the streets and I can't see the roads anymore I'm being blinded by all the times you sang Garth Brooks to me and how you'd reach for my hand in between shifting. The roads are all a blur and I'm slamming on the breaks but I can't stop the images from flooding my brain. I don't see the black ice covering the roads I'm spinning out of control and all I can hear are the lavender words you whispered while we were alone in your bedroom. The breaking glass only gashes my skin they do not bring me sanity. I come to a stop and the shattered glass all around me only reflect your face. I can't crawl out of the wreckage in my head I'm paralyzed and while I'm lying here snow starts to cover me and I'm just praying that I'll become numb to you.

Everything i write feels unfinished.
Just like the conversations we have,
the thoughts i push away,
the sobs that are hushed,
the time that is rushed,
and every time i beg you to stay.