its getting harder
to even breathe
without you.
without air.

I remembered the day we talked
I told you I have to go away
That I would have to say goodbye
As I turn to go
You embraced me like you won't see me again
You did not let go
You said you fear that once I go the rest will follow
You said you needed me
that was the first time you ever said those words
You lay down with me in your arms
I escaped your hold only to try to leave but my body just made me face you
You looked me in the eyes and said
don't go, I need you. I want you
Your hand caressing my cheek while the other still wrapped around me
Then after you shared your desire to stay the way we were positioned but in another scene: under the stars, with a blanket and some snacks maybe candles and a nice song as a background
Nothing to be weary of
No hiding
No worrying about the time
Then you made me stand up
You made me slow dance
You apologized for the scarce space and your silliness
But actually its all I ever wanted
You made it happen unexpectedly
If only we could've stayed that way
I would never have left my love

I feel empty...
And there's this numbness in
my chest that has been
keeping me awake
late at night whenever
I try to sleep.

        I feel as if
  everything
I believed in has
    turned on me,
    all at once.

Lately my thoughts
have been reduced
to suicide and intoxication.
      Lying in bed at night
   looking for any kind
  of good-vibration.
Obviously I've been nothing
      but ****-out-of-luck.
Because every morning
         that I wake-
    I feel like nobody gives
           a ****.

Dustlings floating endlessly pursuing and drifting further into a vastness,matter painted black.

Searching for a destiny light millennium slow dance of heaviness, a gravity worth hanging around.

Airless gasps of constant revolutions, all states of matter form a convolution, hourglass sand falls in ordered disarray.

Gathering momentum to claim a position, spherical designs by the equivalent precision, strategically placed masses with fertile substrate.

Still honor dictates that I must confess, making bright vivacious planets is the best, even if only to devour them in the end.

I take a walk into the parkour graveyard,
looking for Polish dealers and cellphone halos.
I heard Thoth resides in sobriety,
but words fail me
whenever you are near.

I let my tongue run in endless stutters,
disguising 'I love you' as some off-hand request.
I could take you to dinner,
I could show you a longing
without the need for ***.

This late-night food has lost its flavour.
This ******* never picked up.
All that is left is to dial these numbers,
and wait by the window
for any car but yours.

Let's take a walk to the railway bridge.
We'll smoke a joint by the open forest.
You'll push your breath into mine,
make me high,
and forget why I ever
felt so low.

I shouldn't drink this much

and I was so certain
I felt so sure

I thought you could see me
I thought you could actually understand

I felt you
I really did

You looked into my eyes and I looked
into
Y O U

I felt your heart

I saw your dreams

your aspirations

And there is nothing

not a thing

I want more,
than the privilege of your smile

the charity of your time

I was so sure
so convinced

and here I am near tears
completely unable
to forgive myself

here I am
here I am
and you are so
far away

here I am
hear me
listen

I've ruined myself

i'm rubble for you, dear

my eyes burn
A life spurned

I will never be the same

never again, never again

Despite the effort,
&
attention

Alleyways &the;
Obscure,
you're as close to home as ever

but
a miscommunication
is all I'll ever be