When the thought of a simple call
To the bank,
Or the doctor,
Leaves you in tears.

When working up the courage to call
Your best friend you just texted,
Or the pizza place down the road,
Leaves you with acrobatic elephants in your stomach.

When getting up on time
To go to class,
Or your job interview,
Leaves you nauseous.

When you sit there ten minutes later thinking
Why does this happen every time?
Or why can't I be normal?
Leaves you feeling like a failure.

Just say "hello"
Nope, that'll leave you wanting to *****.
Smile to them
Nope, that'll leave you shaking and sweating.
Give a wave
Nope, that'll leave you on the floor rocking back and forth.

At the end of the day
When all you can think about
Is how you were so terrified you couldn't move,
Or that you just want it to end and go away,
But knowing that it'll just keep happening

When all they can say to you is:
Just do it already.
Why do you have to make things so difficult?
Get over it!
Can't you ever act normal?
As you learn to hate yourself just a bit more
Each and every day.
As you slowly fall back
Into a downward spiral of depression.

This one's for my best friend
Who cared for me when I was tiny;
When I was small, big, and grown.
The one who was there
When I was sick
And when I hurt.
The one who will be there,
No matter what.

This one's for my best friend.
The one who has my back
Through thick and thin.
The one who has been there
From the very start
And will always be there
Till the very end.

This one's for my best friend.
The one who loves me unconditionally,
Even when I'm a pain in the ****!
And even when I threw up on her shirt!
The one who sat there and held me as I cried,
Over the scratches and broken bones
And through the broken hearts.
The one who will love me
Till the end of time.

This one's for my best friend.
The one I come home to
No matter how far I strayed.
The one who taught me
By being an amazing role model.
The one who will be there
Forever and always.

This one's for my best friend.
This one's for my mother.
Happy Mother's Day!

There will be days when everything goes wrong
There will be days when you cry yourself to sleep
There will be days when you just want to end it all
There will be days when you wish you didn't exist;
When you wish your father or mother or sibling didn't exist
There will be days when you question how you can keep moving on.

But on those days, I want you to remember:
You've survived this long
Why give up when you have made it this far in life?
You may not have lived each day but you have survived
Survive just another day, so that you may live many more.

I’m lost in my own mind
Looking for a way out;
       p
U
D
     o
          w
                n
S     i     d     e     w     a     y     s…
It’s a dead end;
I keep running into WALLS
Made of stone and brick…
Layer upon layer;
Stack upon stack…
I see the top getting closer…
Closer…
Closer…
But I haven’t reached it yet…
When will it end?
Will I see the light?
Tomorrow is a new beginning
Maybe that’ll finally be the day I escape…
A new dawn starts…
…
…
…
I’m still looking for a way out:
       p
U
D
     o
          w
                n
S     i     d     e     w     a     y     s…
Reaching the end
Running into WALLS
It’s started again…
When will this the end?

The outside shows a girl
Who wants to be here
And join in the world's wonders.

On the inside is a girl
A girl who wishes and dreams
Everywhere she goes.

The outside shows a girl
A girl who smiles and laughs
Everywhere she goes.

On the inside is a girl
Who cries and dies a little more
As each and everyday passes.

I miss you
Do you miss me?

We used to be so close
We were best friends
Talking, texting, being together all the time.

But I realized a harsh reality.
I was the only one to make an effort.

You've moved forward with your life
Living in a new place
Making new friends

While I'm miles away
Wondering how things changed from one second to the next
Trying to figure out why I'm not good enough.

We used to share everything
All our secrets and our dreams
All our fears and our nightmares

But somewhere down the road
You ran ahead and left me here behind.

You left me here behind.
Now I'm alone
Trying to move forward
With an emptiness where you lived.

If I  were to not talk to you again,
Would you notice?

If I were to just dissappear,
Would you look for me?

If I were to die tonight,
Would you mourn me?

if I were*.....
         would you?