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 Dec 2014 derelictmemory
ray
as if
 Dec 2014 derelictmemory
ray
she's teetering on her own brathern image, her own contradicting existence. sitting, half-smiling, chewing on her sweet cigar who's tendrils of smoke are fully about you,
although, you could bet your last dime she'd never tell you
you don't quite know where she came from or wheres she going, she hasn't a clue either, she motions to her past with her eyes. you don't ask, you don't want to. drawn out, the color of polluted
icicles, the color of last winter when you forgot your promises. the room is silent, comfortable silence.
plywood paneled walls are stained with a raw throb of life
as if
as if
she wasn't so pessimistic about her love & the lack of it, no
the plot won't twist and yes love is lost, again
saddening? possibly, but frequent, similar to the way that she couldn't stomach a goodbye from him sometimes, to the point that she'd never say, to
the point where she'd break down in the front seat of his car on a thursday night screaming things weren't supposed to be this way.
she wants to know what runs through his mind when she's
talking circles and acting
heartless as always, but maybe she doesn't, maybe she liked the questions, it put her to sleep at night
she liked trial and error, mostly because every prediction of error was right, the ****** case
mystery, leaving without a single charge pressed or
a single trace left
she liked how love could transform from the fantasized fragment of a
slow form of magic to the painted tunnel on every wall
she keeps colliding,
her heart beat still falls
short every time she utters his name,
like the reminisce of a supernova,
in all the oddest of ways
 Dec 2014 derelictmemory
Artemis
Do you remember every drive in the dark like I do
Or is it something you left behind like the leaves abandon trees
Couldn’t we have been more than another line in your notebook
Unless it was always the falling stars that held your attention
Mention of your name still carries weight but I’m not sure they see it
Even though I can’t keep my hands from shaking but I know I’m getting better
Not even the empty frames taste like the sadness
That you always said lingered in the back of your throat
Even when you were reaching for my hand
Verbs traced along bare skin and even then you said it persisted
Every word you spoke made the needles plunged into my skin seem more real
Ripping tearing slashing and gouging
You never seemed to notice the blood stains or maybe you thought they were yours
Countless times I tried to bring you back but I could never find the light in your eyes
Unfocused and without direction a magnet attracted to something other than the truth
Repulsed by your own touch but you never shied away from mine
Validation in all of it forms could never reach far enough at least not from my lips
Ebbing away like the tide and we all know I’m not strong enough to stop the moon
Often we sat in silence for hours when all words failed
For your own sanity this was all I could do and I still don’t know that it helped
How did I ever let things get so far out of hand anyway
Every second I spent trying to hold you close and keep you safe
Repulsed by everything I had to offer I guess I can only apologize
*~W.C.
 Dec 2014 derelictmemory
Deeba
In the midst of a bright day
when sky gets covered up with dark clouds
it jeopardizes the well beings
of daily nuances.

But they fail to realize
that until you don't witness the darkness
you don't tend to appreciate
the beauty of the bright rays
peeping from behind the dark clouds

The mesmerizing rays
touches the soul skin deep
refreshes the senses
reclaims the victory of life
regenerates the novelty
and preserves the energy
to face another dark phase
When you leave, go without a whisper,
as though you were never here. 
Do not leave tear stains on my pillow or kiss my eyes and beg them not to cry.

Dissipate, let the thin air replace you. Leave no echo, no trace of your existence, 
no backward pity glance at what might have been, 

**** the drawn out goodbye, the heartfelt speech, the apologies for the inevitable.

It's not you it's me.....It's always me.

Let the truth hang  above my broken form, swaying as the ceiling creaks under its bitter weight. I will dance to it's rhythm soon enough.

Then cease.
When I was in the thick of it,
struggling with that depression and all it's horrors,
if I was having a really bad day,
I would climb out my bedroom window
and put a blanket on my roof
and lie there until the sun went down.
It's my favorite part of the day.
It just makes you feel good,
seeing something so beautiful, you know?
That's how I feel when I look at you.
There's a million sunsets in your eyes
and everything feels okay when they meet mine.
You are my favorite part of the day.

*~ Matthew Walker ~
when our metal collided,
forming a beautiful mess of flames and exchanged paint,
they dragged my unrecognizable hunk of meat,
fire still dancing on my skin,
to a blinding, sterilized building smelling of alcohol and copper
usually reserved for bullets in the chest and praying mothers.

they pricked my arms and legs and chest and everywhere in between.
never was there a moment
where cool palms were not smoothing down
the few strands of hair still attached to my scalp.

howls never failed to fill the night-
every night-
and my father joined the wolf pack
once they whispered
"we have some bad news."

their methods had failed to see my body perfect again.
but what they didn't know
is that instead of dripping recycled blood
down the tubes jammed in the holes decorating my skin,
they should have poured words
in to my running river veins.
ALL OPINIONS APPRECIATED AND FEEDBACK IS VERY VERY WELCOME

especially since I'm entering this for a chance to win classes taught by an actual college professor about poETRY EEP I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO LEARN IN THIS CLASS.

if this poem is not worthy, then please please tell me, or tell me how to make it better, or even if I should pick a different poem all together.

this class/audition is only for high schoolers, and I'm 14 by the way.

thanks fellow poets, and have a creative day !
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