i wanted an angel.

peach flavoured love that dripped down my chin, lips covered in sugar.

i wanted passion.

to ascend unlonely through the cotton candy sky with all of its lovely whispers.

i wanted a muse.

someone to kiss and tell the world about as i bit my sugar dusted lip, and dreamed of their sunfilled mouth, and i wanted constant contact and all of the tell me you love me moments.

my fragile lungs would hardly be able to breathe in air as pure as the air that they'd breathe.

i wanted an angel to love until i became one. I needed love so badly that it would choke me with cold hands, frigid but still warm somehow.

i wanted guidance. to soar away from here.

one side of me,
it still loves you.
my baby blue ford-
my ride or die,
i'd live for you,
if only for you.

but he
he lights up my world
where you only have made it dark
but god i'd take the darkness any day.

but his light,
makes me feel like i have
the ability
to do
absolutely anything.
'tis a wonderful thing
or at least it almost is.

and the dark you give
only makes me feel
like i've failed.
the choice should be easy.

but my heart
is hurting,
unsure of the choice.

although either of you could
be completely out of reach

i don't know.

shriveled cells.
(if you need peace of mind,
i can give you a piece of mine)

oh wonder.
(hold still. i'll kiss you in
the rain and you'll be beautiful)

nightmare before christmas.
(you are a lot like someone
i left behind- who are you?)

jelly beans.
(sweet, sour, and lifeless.
don't you ever...)

daisy chains.
(you're going to be something new
i just don't know what else to say to you.)