I want to be intertwined with you.
mixed into your thoughts,
your words,
your actions:
however subtle,
but always significant.

I want to be every part of you
I want to be choked up with your words
swallowed down with your fears
entangled with your musing,

I want to be the hand
that so effortlessly grazes through your curls the pencil
that composes every beautiful thought onto paper  
the lips
that sing never more perfect words and melodies

I wouldn't mind being
the tears that stream your face when you aren't sure of who you are
the curses you pitch out in frustration when life has you overworked
and the laugh that echoes throughout galaxies when you are truly happy

I would be any part of you,
the good parts and the bad
just to say that I was with you;
just to feel like I meant something
even if you weren't aware of it
like the breaths you take that have become such a familiar process
that you aren't aware of the air anymore,
the vitality of it
I want to be the air you breathe
and the eyelashes that protect your dark, secret bearing irises.
I want to be you and a part of you and with you, vital and unnoticed, for the rest of our lives.

so, you decided to go
you gave me your keys
told me to lock the doors
i said "just ring the bell when you come back"

you turned on the car
as i did the tv
didn't think the show would be so loud
but it drowned the sound of you leaving

after some days,
i realized tv shows aren't my favorite waste of time
and you didn't go
to come home

lips dry
hands trembling
and it's all still
u n s a i d

does she know
how many times
p e r  m i n u t e
you tap your fingers on your thighs
when you're about to see her?

does she know
how many millimeters
your eyes dilate
when you see her?
but not me, not me

does she know
how white your knuckles are
when you hear that
somebody hurt her?
and i can hear you boiling

tell her to keep a tally
and beg me to not

i'm good at math;
counting things i'll never have.