He lets her touch him intimately, without emotion
                        when in some pretext she is alone,
in his cubicle with him, discussing  things inane,
                     a software environs need not be  concerned
some times when she passes through,
                     her longing crosses limits, these days
it has become frequent, to the extent others to  notice.
                    she found silly excuses, fifth time this morning
but he can't hurt her feeling, a team member valued,
                      she contributes to his success, as the team leader

  He can see her need for comfort,
               under her tired eyes dark shadows of sleepiness
  lay curled like a depressed mongrel,
                     yet another duel she had with that nincompoop
   she calls her husband, all through last night;
                      a sudden pang he feels calls his wife
  asks if she is fine, to ease his guilt that raises
                        its head like  a snake from under the cover of grass.
  "A housewife has a thousand things to do, why don't you
                      find a buxom colleague to flirt, if that is the need"
  she banters and teases him on his illogical concerns.

                      Through the glass parting he discreetly watches her face
   heard a murmur arising inside,"the ***** plans the next move"
                           panicked he tried to concentrate on the screen
   that looked frightening, the deadline getting nearer and nearer
                       by each hour, he heard the heavy foot fall
  at that moment he heard a thud, as if something fell down
                      everyone was running towards her workstation.

For my dearest poet and friend,
Maria

hard in so many ways
hard cause I know before I begin,
I ain't got the words,
don't think anybody does

I am bereaved, bereft,
ruthlessly deprived by force
of the pretense of composure,
the daily mask worn to perfection,
to avoid detection by the world
of the sum total of the heartaches
brought by chance to my door

Thus stripped, I can give forth easy
screams that have no end, no use
for anyone but me and they,
when all said and never done,
give no relief and just continue endlessly,
form changed to silent ones,
and that is even worse, so much harder.

no point in questioning this fate,
work in a place where pain is routinised
so you can function and be of use

no point in questioning this fate,
but met my master, bested by the worst,
no training, no feigning - I am defeated,
and make no excuses for my loss,
of everything, of anything, for I have
entered a place where there is no poetry anymore

A Dialogue....


I promised I would pray for her and her loved ones
Here I am, just starting to talk, in silence...
Instead, I find myself assailed by questions,
You are an understanding God, never exacting,
Never angry, I have never questioned You,
But today, I honestly ask You:
Why is this happening? How could this be?
How could You have allowed this? Why?
When will this stop? How much longer?
Have mercy!
Have mercy, please...please...
Heal their sorrow, this pain, make it end...
Make them stop, the leaving....
She has lost one, two already,
The tears may now be dry,
And yet, she, they still cry....
How hard it is, to cry without tears.....
What has been done cannot be undone...
So I beg You, please, make the hurting stop,
Let them be healed,
Give them Your miracle....
Now....


Forgive me, my Lord, for questioning Your decisions...
Forgive me for even thinking of questioning you...
I know I am silly most times, but,
Thank you, God, for always listening...


(For Maria )



Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan