The plump moon lights up my room.

My mind is now a flat graph
no desire no lust no dream

the cold winds from the rumbling sea
make no dent on me
I look at my palms
and see the cracked floor
gnarled roots of mangrove on the wall
blend seamlessly with all I have
like once I had her in this room
love together
taking wingless flight to the moon
but now I more like sitting here
prospecting no words to rhyme
not angered at the blankness
for in this vacuous moonlight
I wait without a hope of gain
without a despair of loss
unconstrained for time
contoured by fireflies
alone
recounting a new beginning
from the end.

The oaks locale was flawless , a songster mockingbird
was in perfect pitch , her marshland retained -
waters to exacting standards , her nutrient rich feeder streams quietly meandered
The land drew me in with perfumed 'piedmont wind'
Gods blue eyes watched over me from on high ,
faces appeared in marshmallow sky
Water lashed the banks
Pine trees reflected skyward in perfect rank
Wild azalea , honeysuckle , cottonwood and river birch
guardians stood beside me
Tall brown grass danced , directing my homeward journey

best, would  be for me to wait, consider
my theme- the scheme,  await that inner
lyricist to arrive- yet here I go, impatient
for the to and fro
the rhythm begs at my sight my
eyes to paint again the white
empty spaces with hieroglyphic symbolism,
a pause in space and sanity, whatever
comes to mind, and i spin
my pedestal around where it ends
I do not know,
if I fall it won't be the end
the beginning is dizzy now,
and so I go, off
the track path road where
no one else has *****
enough to tread
all barefoot,
ill equipped as I,
and I do it with
a bitter wry
bit of smile
irony and hope

It's time to fly
A little birdie told me
I hope you get your dreams
And at that moment
I knew, I already had them
Because time is not linear
It circles around us,
Weaves through us
It is our breath and our blood
Our hopes and dreams
Time is a magic remedy
Not, as most see it, an enemy
Trust time, trust love
Have faith
In what's above
And what's below
Faith in-between
Your toes
Listen to your ears
Taste your mouth,
Feel your essence
Smell everything,
Everything but your fear,
It is no more
See your dreams
And you will be
Living them soon

It's smells and feels like
My old coffee shop days
When I fell into the vat of
I'm so new.

And it's like every little thing
Makes me tremble or shudder
I take everything so personally.

My hair is faded coral
I try to love this version of me
Everything is hide tide ridden
Stressful
And my face swells up
With tears
When I think of how much
I miss my mama and papa in  Alabama.

I miss how I use to be
Because I'm a gluten for nostalgia
I'm the recepient of constant
Expectation
Backlash
And everyone chalks it up as
You are just too much woman.

I reached out to him
The one who tread on my heart
Like it was wilting lumber
We had a kind and cinematically emotional conversation
Filled to the rim with toys r us.

God forbid we trend on the internet
I'm crying in a coffee shop now
Just ever so slightly
Because Chicago is a constant purr and whirlwind
And I'm just trying to
Do nothing
But kick ***
And Love.

in some ways i think it will always hurt
and i know i will always remember
but maybe that’s what made it real
maybe that's why we met
for me to remember
not only the intoxicating madness
i always felt when i was with you
and the way just a brush of your skin
could set me on fire
giving me a high only you could create
but also remember
the way my chest tightened when you left
the way i thought i would never make it beyond you
the way you hurt me more than anyone ever had before
when i could never dream of doing that to you
yes maybe we met so i could remember
what it felt like to fall in love
and so i would never forget
what it takes to unlove

s.s

the city lights won't chase us
but the morning sun will hate us
scream and shout till' your lungs turn dry
laughter in your perfect eyes

driving on a road to nowhere
no one thinks we really care
your heavy breath fills the air
my fingers slowly touch your hair