Seems like the nite claimed another homie ........
When did life equal  " ***** you owe me!"
Youth blasted difference over a current narcotic debt.....
What is the pain we haven't seen yet?
I hugged mothers..father's. ... sisters..... brothers......
Seen kids crying alone underneath there covers......
I learned later colors no longer shine.....
If there not flaggin the right one they're no longer mine....
The terrible thing is I got out with a grin...
Like being away absolved all my sin.....
We gangsta we hard we don't give a ****......
That is till one of our loved ones finally gets hit.......
So while you gain respect and become a baller.....
Take the ones closest too you and price them a dollar.....
Because every move you make will make there lives cheap....
Is it worth the painful nights you hurt so much you can't even sleep?
Fast money and hoes lifestyles of the ****
Only put you further into the grave you proudly dug....
I don't have an answer I'm not wise enough to get out.....
But read these words and you'll know what it's all about.....

Pardon me while the words desperate angst replays it's rythym ......
Sheltered sounds emit from tortured interior selfishness.....
May these climaxes reflect the confused voice in my head.....
Sympathy is a heading somewhere in the hallmark catalogue......
And real men don't cry so I try not to think about it all......
No sounds can reflect where I am behind these bloodshot eyes.....
Like life somewhere said wait here and like a fool I stood in its pain....
Now desperate grasps leave scratches on the exterior of loves embrace....
Suddenly someone reached my varied intoxicated plain.......
Now that my pedestal has been toppled by fateful facts I am able to face.....
The future of my projected attitude and artificial behaviors seem foolish......
This is my therapy and an inner voice not permitted to escape.....
So with sincere apologies and poetic pardons excuse my confessions....
I ask nothing from these just that if I leave it here it no longer festers my emotions..
And with an open heart I accept your words because poets can only understand...
That beneath all the words there is a life somewhere writing.....

Days like this seem far too common now..... when the tears show up uninvited to my party's where I masquerade as content...
I can say I used to own someone's love... now I can barely afford to rent...
The days where the only strange comfort are broken words on tattered sheets....
About the world I once remember. ...  before it was pulled out  from under my feet....
Smoky interiors cloud the clear vision of outside happiness.... empty bottles and half empty cups now only melted ice....
I swallow the drugs like painkillers while it feels my hearts getting squeezed by depressions rusty vice...
Your expectations Weigh down the hope of ever being up once more......
 So before I can hang up my phone I'm off to *******  score......
What happens when you can't pretend the day is gonna end in any other way than a hundred days before...
When your mind tells you it ok to drink too much take another line.... You won't do any more.....
Lost intentions become untamed inhibitions and depression turns to anger....
You become confused about why you end up this way, was it sadness about something or are you ******* at a loved one or a complete stranger......
Either way you go home to a castle where the only damage on its walls were caused by its king.....
And the place I try to remember now doesn't cause me to be happy like it used to bring...
Believe me when I say that all this isn't because of you.... I am not worthy of placing blame on anyone but the enemy in the mirror...
I let the cracks in it grow so I don't have to see myself clearer....
But if I am really the cause of all this pain than watch me **** myself with the poison I ingest....
Because while you can't let me leave and this is the only thing I know... For all of you I only wish the best......

Giving up on me like a bad investment may save the company you keep....
I'll accept my pink slip and empty my heart.....
The equity of our future somehow got repossessed....
Might be a joint venture in  an unstable economy of love....
The recession I feel almost instantly as I pawn emotion at the tavern...
But like I care my credit card of success always came back declined........

While i shelter the storm... Memory is what light bears.....
As the light goes to a place I want to follow.....
The night shares the truth that fairytales are for the forgotten....
I Mistake her for the one that got away....
And brokenhearted truely alone I lay..
I watch her and she dreams of someone other than me...
Its the realization now we both sleep with the enemy....

Like I never felt comfort within lovers arms....
You were my first felt comfort.....
Holding you was true bliss mixed with confusion....
Missing you is misery mixed with regret.....
I think of you more often than sometimes is an understatement...
Like plagiarism of that line is easier to swallow....
Define lonely and accepting your departure equally impossible...
But like fortune turned its gaze you fell asleep in my arms....
You smiled at me when I was busy ignoring your stare...
My fingers played with the tips of yours like childish fantasy....
Behind the person I thought I was a true broken man emerged....
Because the sound of you leaving destroyed my ego....
Now haunting "what if "? And repeated " I should haves"  are too easy....
The hardest part of easy now is seeing how simply loved me...
These are the last words I'll write because you deserve better than sad  poems...
"Believe my love.. lifetime is a bitter acceptance till I can say gospel levity....
You deserved nothing other than the absolute best of me.....
Please never change....You were perfect being yourself...
I thought love and happiness went hand in hand with material and wealth...
Love you forever but have to let you be free....
Be where you belong and don't worry about me"....
Goodbye my love.....

Exit signs are
Appealing  to those
Who never felt
Invited.....