simple words
simply amazing....
subtley genious..
quietly outspoken...
decievingly obvious...
broken but so together...
simple words are the only way to describe..
An indefinable anomaly that is you...
Say more nonsense its the advice that gets me through.....

If your religion is what seperates me...
Than as an atheist i cant be free...
If your god only listens when you preach his word...
Than he is better listening to other things he heard...
I do believe in something and I pray...
It was worst part of life that that makes me say...

If life was a journey a learning mystery?
Than the great almighty gave me a powerful history...
I lived through the worst the things i cant ever say...
Being me is the choice i make everyday...
I will not ever say im better than anyone else...
Because I seen the bottom and had no help...
Learned I was different and reminded I was brown....
Than told If i gave my life to him i would be found...
I am a ******* person an equal event...
In a world based in money i never costed a cent...
I died twice when i was born and never saw the end..
I mourned the loss of two sets of parents and buried my best friend...
I was homeless and alone and I stared at the sky....
I said ******* any challenge ill try...
My greater power is the reason i go on...
Not to do any service only to prove him wrong...
You chose me as a target a starting point to measure...
To say the life you lead is better than my drug induced pleasure....
I wrote a book my story changed your views....
With my back against the wall i refused to lose...
My life isnt a basket full of donations...
I am no longer scared to say im native... First Nations...
I was not meant to be here Im suppose to be gone...
And by the word of your god I am a sinner and wrong...
The powers a mystery A faceless name...
But in my belief...... He treats everyone the same...

I cant write like Shane.....
Or rhyme like Marshall....
My words are mine and I take full responsibility....
The advice you percieve is not what im trying to convey...
I am the village idiot in a society of Shakespeares...
Like I need a soapbox to visualise my plight...
The purest form of me is better left on paper....
Because when it bled into life... Nobody understood...
My laughter is captured in a joke I write meant for no none....
I never said it was funny only that nonsense is what makes me happy...
The moments of fear are in shaky etchings on prison walls.....
Where the only people who ever read it are destined for the hell I endured...
My sadness is the napkin after a holiday meal...
When I can only say I miss you using the medium of condiments....
A love note scars my heart and I now see beauty as a plateau...
The forgiveness letter is the sadness echoing from the valley....
Wish-lists are no longer lies about money or fame...
My bucket list is now a rewritten mess of hopes...
I cant write a story because they all turn into pop ups of memories I cant face....
Choose the adventure and Find waldos are the closest thing to my section...
Writing is now been the way I can send my dreams to the editor...
If inspiration was my muse it was taken mid-sentance ...
But if sadness means you will listen...
Than I guess writing is the gift that I wish i could return....

I can remember the shimmer of the hair in your eye...
As you wiped away the tear that said you were gone....
The heat of the sun on my neck as you turned your back...
When the heat was the last thing i recall when we were alone....
The slam of the car door was a final note in the song called  "You and Me"...
I cant be the only one who felt like forever was over...
Now its five years later and I am still writing about you...
Like a pen that has infinite ink.... A pencil that never dulls..
My words reach for you across the paper....
The tears fall on the page like a reminder that like us....
Every beautiful thing will be smeared and left imperfect...
Another letter lays on a floor full of days i cant forget....
Then I look around and every word is the life I remember....

I imagined you as the softest thing i ever touched...
I seen the smile of an angel when you parted your lips...
Your eyes sparkle like a jewel not meant to find....
A sketch artist could not draw what I saw...
I heard the laugh I can only describe like music....
I cant define a tune and I love the mystery.....
You became a unsolved dillema i had to crack....
But I know that as long as I never crack the case...
The clues you leave will be the reason I will work...
A clue like a kiss is going to be analyzed and gone over again and again...
A piece of clothing left by my bed will always be a mystery to me...
I hope you know  the fingerprints I leave on your face...
Are just a prelude to an attempted hair sample...
But as i run my hands thru your hair.....
I knew my search was now over...
I found who you were in your stare...
I am now so in love with the mystery you are...
I dont need to ever figure it out...
I dont wanna understand your moves....
I will not ever be your tail....
I just will sit back and let you keep stealing my heart...

"Everything will be just fine you just need some sleep"...
I haven't had a dream that wasn't a nightmare for a while....
I see every moment of happiness as a moment perfect for disappointment....
Smiles are only a way to conceal a pain that cannot be faced...
Every laugh is now an interruption long enough to delay my dispair....
The tender embraces and hugs just allow me to get out of view...
Nobody wants to see a strong person break but will always tell them "Be strong"...
Is strength an actual visible trait? or just a polite way to say "Dont cry"...
"Get Over it"... means hiding Under the disguise of a happy person...
No I don't... "Wanna talk about it" because the advice you can give is like a script I've already read...
When i say Im alright..... Its because it may be the only definition i have left...
And when i want to be alone...
Its only because I don't have the ability to fake another smile...
I can finally get over the strength it takes to not talk about it....
And the laughter you hear is the way I disguise my tears....
I hope i wake up from this sleep..
And all this was just a nightmare...
But i guess its another day to be Just fine....