Draw-on smiles
Un-walked miles
A million places
A million faces
Around... and around.
I guess my ship can sink underground

Cling onto the trends
Finding war that never can end
Sleeping on the bend
Children black and blue
Parents waiting in a que
Unsolved cases
Broken vases

Scratched-off names
Billions of un-played games
Life that hasn't been lived
And moments to be relived

I dance,
Because I have to.

For the love of dance?
Hell no.
For the love of the examiner.

My teacher's words,
Screaming constantly into my ears.
What I was doing was wrong,
I would never get points for that.

Smile, not for the audience,
But because the examiner doesn't like
Glum faces.

Oh whatever happened,
To the true meaning of Dance?

I don't know.
It's gone,
just like my happiness,
and hopes,
of being better.

My jumps are not filled with beauty,
but sweat.
My pointe work does not look amazing;
It looks tiresome.

Is there ever going to be a day,
When exams don't matter?
No.
Never.
It will forever count
As my life.

People think I have a choice-
I don't.

I can't dance without being judged;
Heck, dancing is nothing without judgement.
Beg for mercy?
Never.
I'm not weak.

Yes, ballet, to me, is like war
Between me and my teacher,
or maybe me and everyone who thinks otherwise.

I'm nearing my Waterloo,
but I won't surrender yet.

But, maybe I have.

I have been brainwashed.
All I want now is good grades.
A distinction.

I don't love dance,
I do it for everyone else who does.

If you look closely,
You can see my tiresome face,
but soulless eyes.

No one understands,
what I’m trying to say,
so I stop trying.

Yes, I've given up.

I don't dance for myself,
I dance for the examiner.

I'm sad. :(

How do that lyrics to that song go again?

And thought the truth may vary this
Ship will carry our
Bodies safe to shore

Well, it's taking forever. I kind of just want to be dead because my very furry mother recently fell out of a tree and died.

I stare at the page
But I can't focus
I am reminiscing
All the feelings
From long ago
I am better than I was
But still
Sometimes
I fall back into the
Darkness
The despair
I used to live with
Constantly
Sometimes I don't even know
Why
But I feel it
Right now
I can feel it
But it is different
It is quieter
Like a memory
Knocking at the window
It won't come in
I will just watch it
Remember it
Write of it
Until I forget
For a moment
And live*
For a moment
But
It will be back
It will slip through my door
That I tried to lock
And it will wrap its arms
Around me
A familiar embrace
That suffocates me
Forces me to
Forget my life
My responsibilities
And lie
Huddled around it
Waiting for it to leave me
For another moment
It is just passing by
It won't come in today
And I can live
Through this moment