I'll tell you a secret...
No one has ever died from a broken heart.
...and you will love again.
I promise. ❤️

Now, I am awake
Chasing daydreams at night
Lucid reveries

After all your lies,
Your wandering eyes,
The incessant tries,
Try,
       Try,
             Try again
To make this work
To understand,
I try to leave and you hold my hand,
Can't you see?
You can't break me.

Do not mistake patience
For stupidity
Do not confuse weakness
With compassion.
Seems I'm always waiting for the passion to come.
Just like I wait for you
To come around.
But you just keep going around
While I keep stickin around
Wounded
But not beaten.
I WON'T be broken.

Not by you,
Not by this,
None have succeeded in the past
You're not the first
(And probably not the last.)
I WON'T BE broken.

Strong, BOLD
Not afraid to be alone
Funny thing, is that its kinda sad,
I was already alone
The whole time I was WITH YOU,
I was WITHOUT YOU.
You're empty.

You think its gonna make a bit of difference to me?
So don't YOU feel sorry for me.
I'm free.
I'm whole.
I'm new.

(Its you, You, YOU!
Underneath your clothes
In between your soul
I know a part of you that no one knows)
You're the one at the end of the day
Who's going to wonder
Why you ****** it all away
Looking for the missing piece
You find and then throw away...
But not me,
Not I.
Look at me.
               Touch me,
                               Feel me...
You didn't break me.
  
I'm alive.
You can break my heart,
But, oh no, not my spirit.
You CAN'T break me.
I WON'T BE BROKEN.

I will regret this in the morning
but I will do it anyway
my impulsivity often overpowers my conscience
yet I am almost always fully aware
of the decisions I make
and their consequences
I am not exactly mentally stable
but I am sane enough
to know right from wrong
yesterday from today
love from lust
although sometimes I mix them up
I have a tendency to lunge at any pair of arms that open for me
my mind and body often disagree
my body saying yes to eager hands
my mind saying no
constantly looking towards my heart
thinking how stupid one must be
to fall repeatedly
get hurt every single time
and still manage to do the same
over
and over
again
I wonder
how many times I will have to hit the ground
in order to learn to stop falling face first?
I often say things
that should be left unsaid
I often do things
that should not be done
sleep in beds unfamiliar
make believe love to strangers
get to know people who will not remember me tomorrow
I am gone as quickly as the hangover
I can be washed off the tongue
just as quickly as the liquor
I often believe I am capable of inciting change
I kiss temporary lips with permanence
hoping that I can train them to stay
I love temporary people with permanence
hoping that I can train them not to leave
and when they do
I claim to have seen it coming
I am incapable of forgetting
a scrapbook memory of skin and heartbeat
of touch and moments
I know not to look directly into eyes
for they can be blinding
and I still
do it anyway
I know of the risks that shouldn't be taken
well aware of their consequences
and I still
take them anyway
you could say
it is my own fault
for the way that things continue to turn out
but I can make no promise of apology
instead
I will live momentarily
**** up intentionally
love recklessly
fall unguarded
break enough times to learn how to put myself back together
crash into concrete enough times to learn how to shift a crooked smile
into something worth seeing
I have been told that a life lived in fear
is hardly a life lived at all
so I intend to live every second
like it is the last one I will have
I will write each night as it happens
narrate my own stories
and hope they turn out okay
I will regret this in the morning
but I will do it anyway.

I knew
From the moment we met
That you were going to ruin my life
And I was going to let you

I knew
When you picked me up
Your arms wrapped around my body
With the intention of holding
That you were going to drop me
More than once
And I was going to let it happen

See the thing is
You could break both of my legs
Shatter my bones
Into a million pieces
And I would still find a way
To come crawling back to you

Knees bloodied,
Hands torn from the pulling
I’ve never been one
For giving up easily

You could effortlessly
Take my heart and crack it open
Drink its contents
Throw the rest away
And I would still somehow attempt
To give you the remains

Call me selfless
But I am used to giving parts of myself
And receiving nothing in return

You could tie my tongue
My lips, my teeth
Split them into surrender
Into a foreign language
And I would still manage
To cough up your name

I have never learned release
Or let go
I only know stay
You could leave
One hundred times
And I would still wait for your return
With patience

Because kissing without permanence
Is like loving without memory
There is no purpose
If there is nothing to come back to
No reason in attempt
If it is bound to be forsaken

You had no intention
Of staying
This was something I knew
From the moment we met

That you were going to leave
And I was going to let you.

You are Mahogany,
Brown, strong and beautiful.
My eyes are dark but you see the sparks,
Like a promise kindling at your side.
I would like to lay, stay a while,
but I will light your shade.
This fire within me will ignite you--
Until both are consumed.
I am no longer
me and you
are no longer
you.
Embers remain
a smoldering testament to the blaze
that once was me
and you,
like ashes
got a little blown away.

Give me something, feasible, viable....
What is this plan of yours?
Give me something tangible,
something I can hold,
something I can touch
and touches me.

Words remain for a fleeting moment
and are carried away by the wind,
as if the syllables had never been breathed from someone's lips.
A brief mental lapse.
Give me something real
so that I never have any doubt.

And if not,
let this then remain just a secret smile
in the back (or the front) of my mind, depending on the day time and weather.
In my travels,
I'll think of you fondly.
If our paths happen to cross,
I will not disregard you.
I will greet you,
kiss both your cheeks
and, for a moment, remember you
...and us.
And then, I'll smile.